Hellobee Boards

@meadow: why wouldn't you pay her?

Do you think they might want to watch a movie or something while the kids are taking their nap? If so and you have a smart tv that requires Netflix with a password, write it down for them. Or tell them to bring their own laptop and give them the wireless info.

Beverages, I am always thirsty for something and it's nice to have a choice of a few things.

If there is a chance they might go for a walk, leave the stroller set up in the garage.

My MIL keeps our son 1 day/week, and this summer my aunt has done the same. They both refuse a regular payment, but we try to do a gift after each "season" - usually a small token and a gift card to some place they would like. Last summer one of my BFFs kept DS several times, and she refused to let us pay her. At the end of the summer we gave her a J.Crew gift card & told her to go back-to-school shopping with it (she's a teacher).

I agree with PPs to make the house friendly for her with wifi, snacks, and everything she needs to keep the kiddos happy. And maybe if there is a good favor at the wedding, snag an extra for her!

In that situation, if it's an afternoon wedding, I would probably ask if they want to stay and visit over dinner.

I guess it depends on family dynamics but my family members would be so insulted if I offered to pay them for watching my daughter. When family babysits I just make sure they have food, snacks, drinks, and the wifi password.

I babysat for my sil/bil's kids many a times especially before having kids. They usually had food for us and that's it. Sometimes they would bring home a special treat. But since they're a good amount older they would treat us to lunch/dinner here and there so I wouldn't have expected anything else.

For those that don't pay are you just talking about occasional babysitting?

One of good friends was practically nannying for her brother and he got upset when she asked for compensation. While she was watching his children she could not go to school or have a daytime job.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: This isn't exactly the same, but no one in my family (and in this I am including long time family friends) would accept money for babysitting my son because everyone has their own separate income and in our culture, it's the concept of extended village that kicks in.

If it were the case that say, my brother were watching my son full time and couldn't have another job, I would insist on paying him and he'd accept, as I would if the situation were reversed. One off babysitting, like a weekend afternoon, is a different thing in my mind and unless that person is in dire straits, wouldn't want to be paid.

Additionally, my parents in particular, are retired and do take care of my son but they would never accept any money to do so. As far as they are concerned, they do it so that we don't have to spend the money on paying other people.

I also couldn't imagine forking over $50 to a friend of mine to watch my son, and I wouldn't accept it if money were offered to me.

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer, but I do notice differences in the ways that people approach child care. I can totally see the idea of paying someone so that you're not obligated to reciprocate in kind. It's kind of like, you watched my kid, here's $50, we're even.

@Ajsmommy: I agree this thread is one-off babysitting. Darn it, I thread jacked. But, I am curious because although my dad isn't a primary caregiver he is my primary back up so I don't have to take off from work.

@looch: yeah, I think part of why I would rather pay my dad or anyone really is so that I don't owe them a favor. My dad's favor always involve manual labor since we are younger and have the muscle. Lol

I like the idea of having lunch there or something to make it easy on her. Other than that, I wouldn't do anything. It's family.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I was talking about occasional babysitting. I would babysit for a day/night here or there, or sometimes a weekend, but not on a regular basis. I also would volunteer a lot because I love hanging out with my nieces and nephew, so my sister knew it was something I wanted to do.

I think regular caregiving is something completely different. Your friend's brother sounds like he's taking advantage of her.