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(((hugs))) I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone, and that no matter where you are on your journey there will always be people here to support you! I had a very brief struggle with IF, and I am so, so sorry that you haven't been able to celebrate your pregnancy and enjoy being pregnant.

And while there may not be karma in IF, maybe there is karma in happy and healthy LOs, and karma in parenthood . . . you have certainly earned it in spades!

I realize that none of this is probably helpful, but even as a semi-normal pregnant person (and FTM!) I often felt isolated and alone, and I didn't know where to turn. But the lovelies here on HB have been an incredible, wonderful resource . . . you just have to give them a chance to work their magic.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this.

I've heard/read these words from so many ladies in so many different fertility related situations. The woman who is dealing with secondary infertility who doesn't feel part of the IF community because she already has a LO. The woman who got her BFP on her first month trying and feels judged and isolated by friends who tried for months..... I wonder if maybe, because everyone's situation is so different, we all feel a little alone on our journeys....

So what's happening with your betas? I read your thread in which you felt that they didn't seem to be doubling consistently and I know your medical team have put you through more testing than anyone should have to bear....

We will support you!! I know I've had my fingers crossed for you since I joined HB in August and, although our journeys have been very, very different, you are one of the people who have really supported me, teaching me how to temp, checking my chart, cheering me on. Maybe I can do the same for you?

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this! I have some friends who went through this same exact thing. They had this huge support system behind them while they were going through infertility issues/treatments but as soon as they got pregnant, while they got cheers from their friends, they also felt like there was no one to talk to "in between." I bet there are lots of HB'ers on here who have been through this who would love to talk to you about it!

So sorry about what you're going through and that you feel so alone in it. But there has to be people here that have been through something similar that you can relate to. I haven't had to deal with infertility, but I did have a miscarriage before I had my LO, and then some scary bleeding when I was pregnant with LO so I thought I lost her too. I know how scary it is to be pregnant after a loss, which I think is just as scary as being pregnant after going through infertility. I'm always happy to talk if you need someone!

First off, lots and lots of hugs!! Please don't feel like you're alone! Everyone has a different story leading to, during, and post pregnancy and that's what makes HB such a great place for all of us. No matter the situation, SOMEONE on here and can relate in some way and provide support and love.

You are definitely not alone! Even when you are confirmed pregnant and the Dr's give you all green lights, scary things constantly happen and we all need reassurance!

My free beta hcg from my first trimester screenings came back really low and as a result I now have to go in for a growth scan I think every two weeks for the rest of my pregnancy starting next week. The Dr.'s honestly dont' even know a lot about this variable, only that it is statistically associated with placenta problems and miscarriage. I'm not sure if there would be anything they could do to help me if the baby stopped growing either. I'm in a really scary place at 21 weeks where I still have a while to go before the baby would actually have a chance to survive, but at the same time I've bonded with it and I'm showing and everyone knows I'm pregnant.

So don't worry, we feel your pain! Problems at any stage are scary and lonely and we are all here for you!!

You are not alone. I didn't go through exactly the same thing but I did go through over a month of agony with our vanishing twin. Ultrasound after ultrasound to see if the baby would catch up to his/her sibling or not. I'm here to listen if you want to talk. I hope things calm down for you soon and that your pregnancy is a healthy one.

ETA - I do understand how you feel though. It's hard to ask women still dealing with IF for support but others don't get it.

I just want to say that you're not alone at all. I think all of us who have gone through IF struggle to feel like we fit in after getting a BFP. I know for myself, I was so scared those first couple weeks. And I felt too like I had nowhere to go. I didn't want to rub it in on the IF thread that I'd gotten pregnant, but the general population doesn't really understand the rounds of betas and the fear of having it all have been for nothing and needing to start over.

At 9 weeks I'm still scared. It seems the closer I get to the "safe" zone of 12 weeks, the higher the stakes are.

But remember, ultrasound machines and techs can vary the results, it's not a perfect science. And maybe you ovulated somewhere in the middle of when the scan shows and when you think it happened. Sperm can live for 5-7 days in the fallopian tubes. It's also possible to be a little behind one day, and then right on target the next time. But I know it's really hard to hold onto that hope when the test results are not giving you a lot of confidence.

If you ever want to talk, I'm happy to listen.

Sorry u feel alone. We r here for u. I do remember all the fears. I remember fearing each and every u/s...and I had a lot! I was afraid until the last minute that they'd give me some terrible news. And even after I gave birth. Fear never really goes away. I think that's what infertility does to us. Especially if u had a miscarriage. Hoping u get some fabulous news tomorrow. U deserve some good news!

I've been stalking your posts for a week now, trying to get an update!! I know how isolating it can feel to be in your position, and scary too!
I remember thinking the exact same thing, that once I got pregnant I'd be so happy but then I just felt so scared and worried all the time, and I felt terrible for not being totally happy when I knew how many women wanted so badly to be in my position.
You're not alone, we are here for you and so dearly hoping for good news for you tomorrow!

@Cherrybee: "cheeky little blighter" I *puffyheartwithglitter* you.

It seems like no matter where we are in the TTC world, none of us feels like anyone else really relates to our position. Women who are just starting TTC feel separate from those who have been TTC for months. Women who have no children feel like they can't relate to women who are TTC for their second child. Women who have miscarried feel like they don't relate to other women who are TTC... ectectect.

You are not alone. No matter where we are, many bees really care about your situation (I know I do)! Hang in there and sending prayers your way.

It's definitely a totally weird feeling to finally be pregnant and then feel like you don't fit in. I went through it too and I'm very sure that lots of ladies did. I hope you get really good results tommorow. All fingers and toes crossed!

@spaniellove: Aww, I'm so sorry you feel alone! I know there was an IF pregnancy thread where you can gather some support. I will always lurk on your threads to see how your pregnancy is going. Hugs to you!

Hugs, you are not alone! After TTC for over a year with a missed m/c at 9 weeks, I'm now 10 weeks pregnant. I'm still terrified. My first ultrasound this time measured a few days behind what I KNEW I was and it scared me to death. I understand what you're going through and it sucks. You are thankful for being pregnant but after going through so much, it's like you're waiting for the other shoe drop.

Good luck on your ultrasound!!

I'm so sorry that you are struggling today. I don't know what you're going through, but I *do* know that I am pulling for you and praying for you! Many hugs being sent your way. Good luck tomorrow!

@Cherrybee: " I wonder if maybe, because everyone's situation is so different, we all feel a little alone on our journeys...." this! exactly, exactly this.

@spaniellove: I'm so sorry sweetie..