I love my 5 month old son fiercely. But sometimes I just really miss my old, casual life with my DH. Right now both DH and I are super sick with colds and all I want to do is curl up in bed and watch TV. I feel guilty feeling this way. Does anyone else miss their old pre-baby life? Does the feeling go away or do you just end up getting used to it? Feeling like a bad mama ...
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A is 5 1./2 months and I still feel that way sometimes. This morning all I wanted to do was sleep but since DH had to go to work, I had to take care of LO. It's okay to miss what you once had.
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Yep all the time! LO is at DH's mom's place for a few days, and although I miss her like crazy, it feels SOO good to just be able to relax and get some things done. Hopefully you and DH can take turns getting away and just nap or relax for a bit and get better.
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I completely understand. LO is 4.5 mo and woke up an hour early this morning. Sigh. I really just wanted to sleep. I miss long afternoons spent with sangria on a patio downtown. That's not happening anytime soon. Doesn't mean I love LO any less.
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Definitely. I love my son to pieces, but sometimes I wish I could just take a day or two off. Especially when I have a migraine (or am just sick). Being a mom is a tough, 24/7 responsibility, and I think it's perfectly normal to want to go back to not having said responsibility every now and then.
I hope you both feel better soon!
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I dont think any parent can say theyve never felt like that at some point.
Ive definitely had time where I missed being childless and carefree.
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It still comes and goes, and LO is turning 2. Definitely doesn't mean you're a bad mom, just a human one!
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I've definitely had those feelings. I agree with @Mrs. Yoyo: !
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I miss it all the time. I think part of it has come with having a child so young (22, 23 now). I didn't live much of an adult life before having a child. Sometimes I get feelings of regret having a child this early (or even at all) and I feel guilty. But I realize it isn't about J at all, it's nothing against HIM because I LOVE HIM, just as you love your LO. And the moment we think of about them no longer being with us, we're filled with horrific dread. It's more about us. I don't think I'd be hurt at all if my mom ever said she wished she had waited to have kids - sure that would mean I wouldn't be here but it's not about me, it about her life (just an example, she never said that).
I think it's normal and while we have babies needing our attention all hours of the day, I am sure the feeling will continue to rear it's ugly head. But just remember it has nothing to do with the amount of love you have for your child, but more so for wanting that freedom again.
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Oh yes, totally normal. Mine's been taking a super long nap and DH is working today, so it kind of feels like it used to be before we had her. I cleaned and napped and have watched two hour-long episodes of tv uninterrupted. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss my solo, no-responsibility days sometimes!
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Yep! We had this conversation last night. We don't regret R at all but do miss going out to dinners with friends, coming and going when we wanted too.
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My baby isn't here yet, but after having DH's dsd move in with us full time recently, there are moments when I certainly wish DH and I could have alone time again. I guess it was good prep for when baby marionberry gets here though. He'll be much worse.
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You are not a bad mom...I feel that way too, especially when I'm sick or tired and all I want to do is be lazy and relax on the couch and my LO won't let me....I don't think the feeling of missing my old life will go away totally, but I've come to terms with it. I love my LO and wouldn't change anything, but I definitely know how you feel!
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Yes. Probably more than I should.
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Yes. But then I see my parents always doing fun things, and I realize that one day I'll do those things again too.
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Give yourself time! I have a 3 year old and 5 month old and I think I am used to the "new life" now. My kids bring me so much joy even though it would be nice to take care of my needs a bit more. And old people come up to me all the time and tell me to enjoy it because it all goes so fast. I really do believe them. I can't believe I have a 3 year old already. It almost all seems like a blur sometimes.
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Thanks everyone. It's good to hear your stories and know that what I'm feeling is completely normal. Sometimes it's just hard to realize that while my feelings of missing my old life are the result of being a parent, it has nothing to do with LO specifically.
@andrea: It does go by so fast. I can't believe I have a 5 month old already!
@cottoncandy: I'm glad you've come to terms with the new life. Makes me feel like I'll get there soon!
@artbee: Good point about your parents. Mine had fun times on their own while I was growing up, no reason why we can't, too!
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I really don't, but I think that many people do. Don't feel guilty - life changes hugely when you have a baby. It's totally normal to miss parts of it, and it doesn't mean that you don't enjoy and love your child.
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Don't feel like a bad mama for feeling this way!!! Man, the first 6 months of my daughter's life I felt like way A LOT. Like, a lot, a lot. Life is just way, way easier without a baby. Want to eat dinner at 10pm; that's cool. Want to sleep in, why not? Want to spur-of-the-moment get away for the weekend; sounds like fun!
Babies change everything. It isn't that you can't ever travel, or eat late or whatever, but you also have to take this little person into consideration. It is a "new life", it's an adjusted life, and adjusting takes time. There's no reason to feel bad or guilty about that!
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Yep. I miss our prebaby life a lot, but I do love this new life even more.
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I miss it everyday!!! ''twas good!!!
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@artbee: this. One day my kids will grow up and I will drive a sedan again
and I'll miss my mom life -
@TurtleDoves: I think I'm going to be like my mom and always drive a mini van now. I was so against getting it because it's a mom car.... but now I love it!
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@Katrocap: I feel like this every weekend morning, when all I want to do is sleep in---until 8:00AM!
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It's totally normal! I think we all miss having time that was our own, instead of being on baby's schedule. I just try to remind myself that someday, LO will be older, and will be doing her own activities, and I'll even get to sleep in again! And, I'll probably miss her needing me so much.
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I miss being lazy and sleeping in more than anything. LO is 4 months old. I think it's a totally normal feeling.
and I'll miss my mom life Reply
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