Feeling this way shocks the hell outta me. I have never hung my hat on looks, not have my looks dictated my libido. But, 35 years into life, 13 years into marriage and 18 months into motherhood I am suddenly feeling old and, I hate myself a little for even writing this, ‘dried up.’
The extra sucky thing is I mostly feel this way around my husband. He is not an ass- he does not make insensitive comments about other women’s hotness, or anything thing like that. He still comes on to me and says nice things. But we both joke around, we both comment on cute people on TV and we both know each other well enough to know when something/one catches the other’s eye. After 16 years together I know what strikes his fancy and lately I have been noticing while I get older, his ‘fancy’ has remained firmly in the 30 and under crowd.
For example, the movie stars he used to think were cute were in my age range: Alicia Silverstone, Claire Danes, Jessica Alba etc. Now he could care less about them and it is Blake Lively, Scarlett Johansson, Leighton Meester, etc. When we drive by the college women’s track team with their running briefs and pony tails and wrinkle free complexions I actually feel a kind of misguided rage. WTH? Beautiful, young, athletic women are my new enemy #1? Crazy, I tell you.
I don’t know if it is turning 35 or having a baby or what, but feeling like this SUCKS. There are no options to getting older and I personally believe that it is a very rare man who sexually prefers an older woman vs. a younger woman. Doesn’t mean my husband doesn’t love me, desire me or plan to remain happily monogamous, so I had better find some way of dealing with these feelings.
Does this make sense to anyone else out there?
PS- I have also noticed that this seems like a taboo topic among my friends. Like we aren’t supposed to admit that no amount of Pilates will turn back the clock or maybe we aren’t supposed to care and instead run happily towards our crone-hood ceremony. Blerg.