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I know what you mean! We are able to start trying again after miscarrying at 20 weeks and people feel the need to comment on how this next pregnancy will be different, it will have the right timing, does my doctor know what went wrong, will they have me in for more check-ups, etc. It drives me bonkers!!!!

I had so many people ask me that and my answer was always "we are thinking really hard about it!" It was so vague and non commital that most people just dropped it. And if they followed up with another question, i would repeat the same thing and smile.

We have been married for just about 4 years so we are really starting to get this a lot! We are friends with a couple that is older than us and their kids are grown and out of the house now but every time we see them she asks us about it and basically tells us to get going! It comes from a really kind place, she loved raising her kids and thinks we would be good parents but the flip side is we aren't going to be seeing them much once we do and I am sure she realizes that because she still talks about how she hated leaving her kids with anyone! She even called me out for not drinking across a room full of people...

My stock response is usually something like "we'll get there eventually!" but the truth is I would love nothing more we just have a few more ducks to get in a row first.

Yeah... it especially sucks to be asked point-blank about it, because then I either have to lie through my teeth (which I usually do), or if the person won't let it go, tell the truth. Which is like throwing a dead bird on the table. Then, once they know, they like to bring it up - have you seen the doctor lately? how are things going? Which, while their intentions are nice, sometimes I don't want to talk about it...

My BFF was really on my case about my TTC schedule at one point. Only, in her case, she wanted me to hold off on TTC until I came to visit her (we live far away from one another). I finally had to tell her that while I valued her friendship greatly, she didn't get to have a say on the state of my uterus. It seemed to work.

@Adira: HAHA this!! In our case, everyone is telling us how we HAVE to be married a couple of years before ttc. Um, okay... We're not 16 (we're 25 & 26), we each have graduate degrees, and WE are the ones in the marriage!! Whenever DH's friends make a comment about how we "better not be pregnant," DH jokes, "oh we didn't tell you the news?" It's great seeing the color drain out of their faces!

@dc yoga bee: when we first started, I was optimistic & a few days late but hadn't tested yet & talking to my BFF about another pregnant friend when DH & one of his best friends walked in and heard 'pregnant' then the friend yelled 'which one of you is pregnant!?' when we told him who we were talking about he was all 'oh thank god! It's way too soon!' he went on & on listing every reason DH & I shouldn't try to have a baby yet, so awkward while I'm sitting there thinking I HOPE I am!

I personally don't mind if people ask me if I plan on having kids as long as they respect my answer and don't follow up with personal questions. It's an extremely personal decision that is filled with private information so whoevers asking should respect the fact that they're walking on a mine field.

@mrs. bird: I agree with what you said completely!

People can be so insensitive. At first it was "wait several years", now it's "when?" It's so annoying. I hate lying, but I have to. No one but our parents know we are having trouble. My bil likes to bring up kids to get attention off him from time to time.

Wow. She has no idea that you aren't trying and just having trouble, I can't believe someone would say that. People would always ask me when I wanted kids, I would just say I wanted to enjoy my marriage first. Which was a lie, I got pregnant right after we got married and miscarried. But that was none of their business.