Do you have any?
I sort of do. But we haven't talked since she made a rude comment instead of congratulating me after I had my LO.
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@chopsuey119: What did she say?
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Do dish! I have never had a frenemy.
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@mrbee: "dood. she looks like [my niece]." niece is cute, but nice first comment after your friend has a baby.
then she went on to say that my LO's name was the name she was going to name her son. she had planned on it for years. (she doesn't have kids and isn't even pregnant). kinda glad i didn't know about it, cause I love the name for my daughter! -
@chopsuey119: That first comment isn't so bad... I've heard some doozies! She sounds self centered though...
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@mrbee: i was just really irritated because she has a history of making snide comments, talking behind my back to mutual friends, etc.
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nope not anymore. too old with too little time to have those people in my life.
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i'm with @mrs. bee
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I don't think I'd call it a frienamy but I do have a girl I was friends with that said some pretty awful things to me, but since we have the same circle of friends and have known each other since kindergarten, we still see each other once in a while. We're nice to each other, but I don't think we'll ever be bff's again.
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I do, and I wish I didn't. I feel like, at 30, I'm too old for this kind of crap. I need to declutter my life in terms of the types of friendships I keep.
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@Rubies: I feel like that happens naturally when you have a baby. There's no time for real friends, let alone friends you don't even like.
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i'm done with them! no time for bs
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Nope. I got rid of those "friends" over the past few years. It was very cathartic. I now only have friends that support me.
@chopsuey119: people who turn your good news into something about them drive me crazy. I just don't think they know what they're doing!
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One of my husband's best friends is married to a girl who down right hates me. Husband and I both think it's because she wanted to date my husband since she's made several comments that it should be the two of them together, they are much more similar (not at all true!!!), she likes knowing she has a backup (even though she doesn't), she doesn't see us together, etc. She has said some downright awful things about me but I've never really cared at all. The only reason I feel bad is because my husband sees his friend less because of it.
The best part was when one of her bridesmaids bailed the night before the wedding and she called my husband to ask what size of dress I wear to see if I could possibly fill in. My husband literally laughed at her and hung up. I love him.
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Closest thing I've had to a frienemy was a chick from work who drove EVERYONE nuts. I was about to be put in charge of my section, with her under me, and I despised her. In order to get over my aversion to her BEFORE I was her supervisor, I took her out to lunch to get to know her. Got to understand the reasons behind her attitude, which didn't make me like her, but it eliminated my animosity towards her (she was still annoying as hell, though.) I could tolerate her and be civil with her - and that made me her best friend. At some point, I commented that no, I didn't hang out with her because I liked her (once every other week or so for lunch, when most of the office went to lunch together daily) - I just did it to quell my active dislike for her.
(Her mom was deaf and didn't speak any English, so she was used to being more or less in charge of her "authority figures" - which does not fly in the Army. She was 15-20 years older than anyone else her rank, and older than most sergeants and officers, so she expected to be shown respect as an elder, when she was both the most junior soldier and the slowest learner in the office. She'd do stupid stuff like not tell her supervisor she broke her collarbone when going out to qualify on the rifle and therefore couldn't put the weapon in the correct position, not telling them she'd broken a rib a week before a ruck march, etc., then wonder why they got pissed off at her for giving herself a black eye with the butt of the rifle or did ridiculously badly in PT.)
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@eeh: wow. sucks to be your husband's friend! keep your eye on that one. sounds like she's a snake!
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Yeah..my husband was their best man and literally as she was walking down the aisle he was telling his friend to not go through with it. Now that they're married we keep our mouths shut. We definitely don't spend much time with them any more. My husband hates her even more than I do so I like to tease him that she's his backup plan if we ever fall through.
Drives him nuts.
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Oh, I've had my fair share! I can be a catty wench when I want to be. However, seem to be a magnet for crazy chicks who I ultimately end up putting in their place.
I do have one friend since highschool who I have this guilt complex over remaining friends with. She's the most negative person on the planet, spites her son, and hates her husband. So yeah, she's a real georgia peach to hang out with. Lately, since becomming pregnant I've avoided her like to plague not to hear the constant "Your like if OVER" comments she likes to make about motherhood.
Forget her!
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I have a few "friends" that I have to see on occasion. They married into our circle of friends. One girl in particular is always extremely rude toward me for no apparent reason. My husband even picked up on it, which is very unlike him. She does everything she can to exclude me from the woman in the group.
Unfortunately for her, I am good friends with 1 and cousins with the other so her efforts aren't affective. I do choose to try to steer clear when possible.
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I have had love-hate relationships with all my friends at some point, except my DH! But only one true "frenemy." I have so much fun with her but she is an energy-zapping person.
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I feel like a couple of my college friends are "frenemies." We don't have much in common anymore, but we have so much history together, from living together in college and being so close during those important years.
Unfortunately, I have caught them saying things about me to each other and telling things to other people that I told them in confidence. Bottom line is that I don't really trust them anymore.
No one thing has been egregious enough to "end" our friendship -- and doing so would be awkward anyway, since we have so many mutual friends -- so over time I have just distanced myself from them and try not to share any personal information with them. They still talk about me (and now, they talk about and speculate as to why I don't hang out with them!), but at least I don't have to think about it as often.
The hardest part for me, though, is dealing with the loss of a friend. I wish I would have seen their true colors earlier and invested my time in other friendships instead
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I don't think I have any "frenemies" anymore but in college there was an abundance. I noticed that I had a lot of girls that were energy suckers or drama finders and ALWAYS wanted to bash my boyfriend or their boyfriends. You know miserly loves company, they wanted my relationship to reflect the BS that they had going on in theirs. Needless to say DH was not a fan (he didn't bring this up until I had started my retreat) and I was able to slowly remove myself from these individuals and haven't looked back since.
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Not anymore, and it feels GREAT to not have that drama in my life anymore!
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