LONG, Skip to first for the Cesarean part.

If you asked me before I became pregnant how I planned to birth my baby I would have told you hopefully by a surrogate because I have a fear of childbirth. Obviously, I had to let my childbirth fear subside if I was going to become pregnant, something I always wanted to experience. At the beginning of my pregnancy I didn’t have a strong preference for how I would deliver my baby. I took a stance similar to the breastfeed vs formula wars- it doesn’t matter what you feed your baby, just feed the baby! To me it didn’t matter how my baby came into the world, just that he or she did.

Then, my SIL shared something with DH that completely changed how we viewed birth. She shared Hypnobirth, a philosophy centered on unmedicated, vaginal delivery through the use of relaxation techniques to have a gentle birth. At first, I was upset that she would plant something so unreasonable into her brother’s head and I would not have alternatives ie drugs! Let’s face it, I’m indecisive and like to have all the options.

DH did his own research, sent me local resources, and advocated on behalf of our LO that my birth experience was only half of the story and the way our baby enters the world is just as important. With that I embraced the challenge of completely letting go of my birth fear and wholeheartedly trying to make a go of a med-free vaginal delivery.

One thing for certain I knew I would need is a doula since we still planned to birth at a hospital- we may have been up for something a little “crunchy,” but we are still cautious people. My other two very real birth fears was the pain of severe vaginal tearing and having my medical professionals go against my wishes. A doula couldn’t help with the tearing, but I loved the aspect of having a knowledgeable birth professional to help me advocate for the experience I wanted. We found a fantastic doula, we’ll call her Ms. Zen. She is a former teacher and while she is way more holistic than either my husband or I we liked her approach to supporting mothers and fathers. She also planned a similar birth experience years prior for her own child and we felt we were in good hands.

Our next step was to take Hypnobirthing classes. I was still skeptical this was all going to work. Every class we watched a video or two of real mothers birthing babies in a beautiful, gentle way. I grew to sincerely want that experience. In fact, one video showed a mom completely zoning out all the chaos of a Miami birthing room to deliver her daughter. That was the only video I didn’t like because the atmosphere surrounding the birth was not peaceful. Course homework was always to practice the breathing techniques and listen to the Relaxation and Affirmations tape. I practiced and practiced. After the hospital tour, I was really able to visualize the beautiful birth.

However, I did not rotate on a birthing ball during labor or hear my birth companions say “green grass” to instantly relax me, and I did not breath my baby down, but I still had an amazing, beautiful birth.

During my prenatal visits I rotated seeing four doctors and a mid-wife at an OB Gyn practice. With each person I reviewed my birth preferences and the questions they asked or concerns they raised allowed me to tweak my wants and visualize an even better birth. Although, I did not have GD and did not gain more than the recommended 25-30 lbs my belly always seemed to measure big. I was given extra growth scans and thankfully LO was smaller than what my bump would leave the trained eye to believe. My birth plans were moving along well until my 40 week appointment when I had another growth scan followed by a doctor visit. That day baby was estimated to weigh 8 lbs 13 oz and my first cervical check of the pregnancy revealed I had a Bishop Score of 0. Baby was big and my body and baby were not anywhere ready to birth. Dr. S’s official recommendation was a cesarean.

In the days after that visit I had more testing done and another two doctor visits and DH and I read up on risks to mother and baby when it came to vaginally delivering large babies and as well as delivering via cesarean. When we finally decided a cesarean was ultimately how we wanted to bring baby into this world we didn’t have much time to prepare given that we called the doctor’s office when it first opened and they could accommodate us later that afternoon. Honestly, I did everything I could to distract myself that I was about to have elective surgery. When, the doctor’s office confirmed the cesarean at 2:30 pm with instructions to be at the hospital 2 hours earlier I was overcome with delight. Today, was the day I would meet my son!

We tidied up the house, worked from home in the morning, packed our hospital bag, I spoke to Ms. Zen regarding a last minute rewrite of birth preferences and then I jumped in the shower minutes before we had to leave for the hospital. DH wore his alma maters’ shirt, which is an evergreen color, when Ms. Zen arrived at the hospital she sported a mint green tee, and I was happy to change into the green hospital gown. I was surrounded by my favorite color!

Each nurse that worked with me asked me why I was having a cesarean- suspected macromosia/ 9lb baby- and the reactions were quite mixed, but I tried not to let that get into my head. Today was my son’s birthday after all. I was happy with the little victories I had such as being able to keep my bra on until the last minute. DH did a great job of keeping family informed, but totally out of my hair as I had always requested a peaceful birth meant, which not having to speak to well-wishers during labor & delivery.

There was so much info that I didn’t know about cesarean prep and Ms. Zen was invaluable in breaking it down for us. The three of us kept my surgery prep nice and light chatting about food, birthmarks, and whatever else crossed our minds. When Dr. S came in she was all smiles and we reviewed the revised birth plan. Dr. S and DH share a love for 80s music so that would play in the OR and I would listen to my Hypnobirth Rainbow Relaxation tape.

When I was wheeled into the OR I was surprised by how much stuff was in there. It seemed more like a storage room for the hospital and less like a sterile environment to birth baby. The epidural worked like a charm and the anesthesiologist, nurse, and I had a good chuckle after it was placed that I told them everything except that I am extremely ticklish on my feet and back. At some point, I asked someone how my legs were maneuvered on the table and was told like a leap frog. Awe there was my green imagery again!

Although I fasted I didn’t realize that meant to abstain from water as well and before surgery began I became a little nauseas and threw up a little water. NBD. Then my husband arrived in his scrubs. All of the small talk in the room between us and Dr. S and Dr. B did wonders to help me be present in the experience, but not concentrate on the task the doctors and nurses had at hand. DH sat super close to my head and I don’t recall our conversation, but we were all smiles and giggly. He did say a few times I was missing out on some great music, but I beg to disagree since my beautiful birth visualizations always included listening to the Rainbow Relaxation tape.

I could hear the doctor’s chatter about having to go get the baby since he was still positioned very high in my belly. Dr. S even said he was wiggling his head trying not to get caught. Oh boy was he stubborn. I wondered where he got that from? He was definitely not meant to be an Aries. Both DH and FIL are Aries and were hoping this April baby would be one as well. Our baby is a Taurus, you know stubborn like a bull? While DH was saying something I heard a brand new sound- cries! I shushed DH and told him that was our baby. Listen! Dr. S confirmed our baby was birthed and his cries got louder. It was surreal. Just moments before I was carrying him and then just like magic he appeared.

DH ceremoniously cut the umbilical cord, then we took a few family photos and I was able to get a really good look at the baby. Umm, who is this baby of mine? I didn’t recognize him at all. Then, DH left with the baby to enjoy some skin to skin. There were so many people buzzing around the OR; it was quite the celebration. Then, finally there was just me and two or three nurses that wheeled me into the recovery room. I asked sheepishly, if the baby might be hungry and want to nurse. Ms. Zen and DH said enthusiastically he was ready. Sure enough he nursed well and then found his thumb as I enjoyed some long awaited skin to skin. Seriously, I was on Cloud 9.

I had an amazing, beautiful birth via cesarean at 40+6. My son, August, was born on April 21st at 4:36 pm. He weighed 8 lbs, 9 oz and measured 21 inches long.