I've wanted to share my birth story for quite a while but am just now sitting down to write it three months later. If I wait any longer I may forget it, so here goes.....

(Disclaimer: my experience was terrible and I don't wish it on anyone, I'm not a good story teller and if your about to have your first baby just know that childbirth hurts, like real bad. I'm not trying to be mean, just honest,and epidurals are amazing.)

I'm 41 weeks (due June 25th, 2013) and going in for induction on Tue. July 2nd at 9:00 am. My birth plan was to follow the Hypnobirthing method by relaxing, meditating with music, using the hot tub and not using any drugs. Im scared of needles so I don't want an epidural, those ones are huge! I'm confident and I feel excited but a bit nervous to be induced because I know it's proven to lead to interventions. I'm maybe a finger tip dilated and 50%effaced which we all know isn't good news at 41 weeks. I felt I could wait longer but I got a lot of pressure from family and my Dr. to deliver this baby by induction...so we went for it.

At 9am, I got the pitocin and a folley balloon. By noon, minor contractions but I ate lunch and was just chilling with the hubs. The idea with the balloon was that it would fall out when I'm 3 or 4 centimeters. By 3:00, we had turned up the pitocin and I was getting pretty strong contraction so I got in the hot tub. It helped for awhile... Then by 4:30, the contractions were fierce;I think we had he pitocin at an 8. So we turned it off to see if my body would take over and it did! Yay, right?! Well, my nurse checked me at 5pm and the balloon was gone! and I was at 8 centimeters! My nurse freaked, called the doctor, got my hubby in a complete panic, as I squat on the bed gripping the pillow with everything I've got. Let me just add, I hated my nurse and husband at this point. They kept telling how great I'm doing and how close i am. I'll I could say was "I don't want to do this anymore". Those contractions are no joke. The body can do amazing things. You have no idea what it's like until your going through it.

5:15pm...My husband makes the call to my family that I'm close and the babies coming. The doctor comes and it all starts to get blurry from this point. Dr. Checks me, I'm 9centimeters. The folley balloon never came out; its behind the babys head. I did some practice pushes, nothing happened. I soon asked , maybe begged, for an epidural because I couldn't stand the pain anymore. Finally, the anesthiologist showed up, let me add she smelled like she was drunk, but it didn't care because all I wanted was the pain gone!!!!!

Now it gets tricky......Once I got the epidural, nothing happened. I got another and I was in bliss. so relieved of the pain and ready to have this baby!! I got so numb I couldn't feel anything. I would push and the dr would ask if I could feel this and I would say no. He Would leave and come back in 45 min. This repeated multiple times until they decided to take away the epidural just a bit so I could feel just a little bit. (I knew this was trouble. I didn't want the epidural to be taken away. I was terrified at this point.) a few hours pass of this torture. Doc keeps coming back and taking more epidural away so I can feel something... I almost wanted to lie at one point and just say yes, I feel that. But I didn't feel anything until they took it completely away. My biggest fear now comes true.

I now have my epidural completely taken away and am feeling what natural childbirth feels like. I'm pushing with everything I've got and....nothing. The baby is not coming down. I push until 1 am with no progress what so ever.... I'm like the lady in the movies having a baby. Screaming in pain thinking I'm gonna die. Yep that's me......I finally couldn't do it anymore. My mom and sister we're listening from the hall. They had some words with my doctor (not nice ones) because they couldn't stand hearing me in that kind of pain anymore. Now that I think about, I'm thankful they were there. After that, my dr. said that's enough and I have to get a C- section now! I cried but was relieved. They gave me my epidural back and I can honestly say that the c section was the easiest thing I got. Unfortunately, during the c section they had to push the baby back up vaginally because his head was totally stuck in my pelvis. So I had some tearing from that but the c section itself went great.i saw my baby and cried; then I fell asleep as they stitched me back up. Come to find out, I would have never had this baby vaginally. My pelvis wasn't made to have babies. Isn't the doctor suppose to know this?! I honestly wouldn't have another baby if I had to do it again. It was too much pain. But I have no choice next time...I'll have another c section if I have another baby and that's okay with me!!!

I was very emotional for weeks after giving birth but am so blessed with this baby boy that I don't think about it anymore. Having a baby and being a mother is the most amazing thing I've ever done in my life. My experience isn't what I expected but this is what happened and I know I won't have to go through that again.

Born July 3rd at 4:52 a.m. 8 lbs. 5 oz.