We may start sleep training tonight. DS is 5.25 months. Just wondered if any one has any tips of things to definitely DO or NOT DO? Thanks.
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I have no advice but I'm starting Monday if I don't chicken out for the millionth time. I'm interested in hearing everyone's advice!
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@mamaj: I've chickened out before, too, but I'm still getting over PPD and my psychiatrist says I need more sleep, so this is doctor prescribed!
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I think it depends what method you're going to apply?? I've never seen a list, but I think in general, regardless of method, making sure your significant other is on board & supportive, having a video monitor, and deciding ahead of time what the game plan is would probably be helpful across the board.
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This is more to help you later on, but try to set up a recognizable routine, it makes it so much easier later. As he got older, any part of the routine will make him yawn and rub his eyes, we just set him in the crib and 99% of the time, he's out before I can shut his door.
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Figure out your plan and stick to it. Don't sleep train until you are mentally ready.
Sleep training is all about consistency and giving your LO the tools to put themselves to sleep. Its much harder to sleep train if you change your plan every other minute.
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We are thinking of doing CIO with checks. I should have asked this in my original post, but do I need to sleep train for initial bedtime and middle of the night at the same time? I don't mind nursing him to sleep and DS almost always stays asleep after being nursed to sleep. I just want him to stop waking up so much at night or at least be able to self soothe.
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Be consistent is the number 1 thing. Figure out your plan and stick to it. Also, dont give up before youve gone a week and its still making no difference. It takes time for them to adjust their schedules.
Also, this includes all times you put him to sleep. Continuing to nurse him to sleep is not going to help him learn to self-soothe.
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@Katrocap: It's my understanding that around that age, part of the problem is if they fall asleep one way, they expect/need to fall asleep that same way each time. So if he is waking up and not still being nursed, he gets upset. The commonly used analogy is falling asleep on your bed and waking up in the kitchen - wouldn't that be unsettling?
@hilsy85 has posted lots on success with CIO/checks so I'd search some of her posts! -
@Katrocap: Have faith in yourself. You will know when it's too much (and whether you LO is truly ready), and whether you should stay with your *plan* or adjust it on the fly. Just trust your instincts.
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like others have said, consistency is important, although give yourself some room, particularly at the beginning, to be flexible. for example, you may find that the checks make your LO more upset, or if you hear 5-alarm screaming, you may want to screw the wait time and just go in.
you are doing this for your LO as much as you are doing it for yourself.
the crying will feel like forever, but when you actually time it, you'll realize that it won't be that long.
don't be discouraged if sleep training doesn't magically work in 3 days--i heard so many stories like that (because those are the people that tend to pipe up--i would too!) but sleep training for us took several weeks. and things are still not perfect.
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I agree with the above advice: try to be consistent with bedtime routines and how you handle wake-ups, make sure you and your DH are on the same page (SO important), and give it time.
We're still working on night wakings, mostly because we live in an apartment and letting him scream at 4am isn't really a good option. We did a modified CIO to transition him from being nursed to sleep in our bed to going to sleep on his own in his own crib. Instead of a CIO with 5, 10, 15 minute checks (because that made him angrier), I would let him cry for up to 15 minutes at a time. If he was in hysterics I'd go in after 10, if he was just giving me a really tired, whining cry I'd let it go to 20. He was usually asleep within 10 minutes.
One great tip I got from our pedi about night wakings is to make it all business. We were going in and cuddling him, rocking him to sleep, nursing...it was fun for him, and we think he kept waking up expecting fun. Now when he wakes up we'll change his diaper, offer him a little bit of water from his straw cup, give him his paci, turn on the sound machine and put him back down. No cuddling, no laughing, all business. It might have happened anyway but he's gone from 5-6 wake ups a night to maybe 1-2.
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@Katrocap: We did CIO with checks also. Our only rule was once he was down for the night, we couldn't pick him up until morning. For us it worked better if my husband went in, gave the paci, rubbed his A&A blanket on his cheek and came back out. If I went in, LO would be inconsolable, he'd want to be picked up and nursed. Be consistent for both bedtime and middle of the night wakings. Good luck!
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@scg00387: exactly this.
If you continue to nurse to sleep, he will (probably) continue to wake up repeatedly and need to e nursed back to sleep because that is the way that he knows how to fall asleep. You need to take away that sleep association/crutch. Have you read ferbers book?? I highly recommend it--there's a ton of great info and it explains a lot. We stopped nursing to sleep and introduced a lovey which helped a lot I think.
The most important thing, I think, is to be consistent. If you let Lo cry for 20 min and then give in and nurse him to sleep, you might as well have done it from the beginning, you know? It's so tough but it really is better for your Lo and you to have healthy sleep habits.
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definatelt be consistant as to not send mixed signals to your LO, it will make it easier and will hopefully work faster.. do you plan on keeping any feedings? if so, you will need to set a time that you will not feed him until.. LO is 6.5 months and we set a time limit- if she cried before 1am, I would not nurse her, but if she cried after then she would get nursed and would go back in the crib right after, because we wanted to keep 1 night feed. you and your DH need to be on the same page as well.
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@Katrocap: yes I would do motn and bedtime at the same time. You don't have to do naps and nighttime at the same time tho.
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@hilsy85: Thanks for chiming in! Your feedback is helpful. Yes, we need to take away the association of nursing = sleeping. It's just so much easier that way, though (in the short-term, at least).
How do you know if they NEED at motn feeding?
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@Katrocap: I was totally where you were--nursing bc that's what got us all back to sleep fastest. We kept 1 motn feeding bc Lo is pretty skinny, so I am happy to feed him once at night. Most babies, by 5 months, don't NEED a motn feed. But it's what your individual baby needs...you can ask your pedi as well.
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@Katrocap: i think you need to follow your instinct on whether or not he needs a motn feeding. the general point of sleep training isnt to get rid of all feeds, but to teach baby to fall asleep on their own, without nursing or a bottle. ferber says most babies do not need a MOTN feed after 4 months, but Weissbluth says some babies may need 1-2 feeds until 9 months. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. I know for me personally, I felt more comfortable keeping 1 feeding and I figure she will drop it on her own when she is ready.
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Update: I put DS in the crib awake at bedtime. He fussed for less than 5 minutes and then fell asleep. Three hours later he woke up and has been crying for almost 40 minutes. DH went in at 10 minutes and 20 minutes but it only served to work up DS more. I really hope he falls back asleep soon ...!
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Next day update: FAIL! DS was awake and crying for 2 full hours. Not hysterically crying, but not just fussing either: straight crying for two hours! We live in a rowhouse with thin walls and were worried about our neighbors at 1am, we were exhausted and starting to wonder if DS really was hungry/thirsty since he'd expended to much energy crying. So I went in and within 5 minutes nursed him to sleep. Ugh! I know that totally defeated the purpose of letting him cry and feel bad that his (and our) suffering was in vain. But seriously, how long do you let them cry non-stop? Help, please
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@Katrocap: oh man!
that's what happened to us when we gave up. Sorry!
that's what happened to us when we gave up. Sorry!
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