Hellobee Boards

I've never heard of it and I don't really practice one way of parenting, so if I came across it in real life, I'd probably be more confused than anything!

I have heard it used plenty of times but I don't really know what it means. I think of it as more of a catchall term. I read Mr Bee's link and the style described is very much the way I choose to parent my son (I am very much into neither punishing nor over-praising) - but I certainly wouldn't ever go around saying I practiced 'gentle parenting'. I think it sounds a tad offensive to those who parent differently, as to me the opposite of gentle is cruel/unpleasant.

I went to a LA Leche meeting when lo1 was little and they had a library to borrow books. I like to read a bunch of different ideas in parenting so I borrowed one that was positive discipline or gentle parenting. It was interesting, they had a bunch of different parents describing how they approach different problems. Some of it seemed a little wooooo but some of it was really nice ideas to approach issues in a less combative and more cooperative relationship with your child. I use some of the ideas but I also use rewards and time outs.

I do think one of our friends practice this and they've had problems dealing with pool rules with their 3 year old. I tell her no regularly because there's things she's doing that aren't safe and when she tries to use my 1 year old as a flotation device saying NO and unhooking her is about the most gentle idea I have any will to do in the moment. I do wish her parents would take a harder line with pool safety rules because the problems are repeated everyday.

I’d like to personally think of it as less/no yelling, no physical punishments and generally being respectful of your child (with limits, as parents and children are not direct equals). Those are things I actively try to do in my home/parenting.

I have an acquaintance who is really, really into gentle parenting and a lot of what she posts is not stuff I subscribe to, or think is especially healthy parenting. I don’t know if what she promotes is normal “gentle parenting” or just new-age feel goodery stuff, but it’s things like: never asking your child to hug a friend or relative (i.e., never suggesting “go hug grandma goodbye!”) as all contact should be voluntary and started by the child/toddler, never asking your child to say “sorry” (because apparently unless a toddler comes up with saying sorry on their own, it reinforces some negative message), not telling your child to share or promoting sharing, no overly structured play groups, no gendered toys, no plastic toys, and she’s also pretty against formula and traditional daycare and school.

I think most of that stuff is just nuts.