I feel like this has to have been discussed before but I can't find anything. DH and I are getting ready to TTC baby 2 in December/January and while I'm anxious to have another baby, the logistics of parenting two kids has me completely terrified. Anyone care to tell me how much more/less difficult a change it is going from 1 to 2? Thanks!
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For me, the transition from 1 to 2 was much easier than none to 1! I had a better idea of what to do the second time. Babywearing made taking care of my first easy. It was such a smooth transition that I thought 2 to 3 would go just as well
(it wasn't as smooth)
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@HLK208: that's what I want to hear!! Though E has been such an easy baby I can't imagine we will get that lucky twice.
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@cookiemomster: easier. So much easier. I have a 2 year old and 2 month old and after my first week home alone with both kids was over, we found our groove and now we're good. I hardly remember what life is like with just 1.
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1 to 2 was a breeze compared to the transition to 1 like @HLK208: said. I couldn't believe it! I was so nervous but it went so well. And honestly I began to enjoy parenting even more than I had which just amazed me because I absolutely loved having just DS. But there is something incredible about watching the bond between siblings grow and it is so cool to see how distinct each child truly is.
Obviously there are new logistical things to figure out with adding a child (like bedtime routines and baths and making time for each child) but somehow it comes together and it's so worth it!
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I'll say in some ways it's easier than 0-1. But it would be a whole lot easier if my son wasn't so colicky. I feel like he hates life sometimes. But for me it still feels like "what's one more baby added to the mix".
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1 to 2 was definitely easier! Ours are 27 months apart so we were already under house arrest by 7:30. Hehe. But baby wearing was key in the transition and as other posts have said, watching the kids bond is incredible! Of course, there have been times when 3 of the 4 members of the household were crying.
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Well this is making me feel much better! The only person I know irl with two right now has had a really difficult time which I think is a lot of where the fear comes from. Good to know its not always that way.
@anonysquire so sorry about the colic
I had it as a child and am still given a hard time for what a miserable baby I was.
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I'm only three weeks in but so far 1-2 is WAY easier. So far no PPD/PPA. We planned for dh to be off longer. Dd bringing home two (preschool!) illnesses in ds' first month has been a little frustrating. We decided to bottle feed so I would probably be a lot more tired if I were bf'ing.. But also if I hadn't had medical issues during pregnancy I'd have been more likely to bf but be stronger physically so I don't know about the fatigue.. He still has plenty of time to be fussy but when dd was a baby I couldn't figure it why people liked the baby stage so much, and with ds he is so far the kind of baby that makes me wanna have all the babies!!
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@2littlepumpkins: I can't produce milk as we learned when my first basically starved the first four days of her life, so I'll be bottle feeding from day one this next time. It definitely has it's perks in a lot of ways, I agree! Though I don't even want to get into my anxiety about telling the hospital I'm not even trying
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@cookiemomster: once y ou say you can't produce milk they will probably be understanding. For me it's more of a choice (I can produce but my body is just worn down due to illness and loads of antibiotics during pregnancy-we got thrush by the end of the first week from nursing the first few days then part time pumping, and I had to start a whole new round of antibiotics by week two) but I just went to the OB and to the pediatrician and told them like it is, and they were fine with it. I always planned to try again with lo2 so it's a little disappointing but overall I have found that I'm confident about my choices and so other people get on board quickly! I spend a lot less time worrying about other people this time...I'm too busy worrying about my kiddos!
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Some of it was probably my expectations - I'm one of 5 and my mom said 1 to 2 was her hardest - but I thought it was so much smoother than 0-1. Within a few weeks, we were back to our normal routine. She is an easier baby than my first, but I am also so much more confident and calm than I was with my first. You'll be fine!
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1-2 was much harder than 0-1 for me, however both were difficult, as I had extremely colicky babies. They're under 2 years apart, so I had 2 high-needs kids, screaming for my attention, both in diapers, and not a ton of family help/ support. I think for most people, 1-2 is much easier.
Even though it was hard, it was so worth it! Now they giggle and play together and love each other so much. Tonight they were saying back and forth, "my sister!" "No, you're MY sister!"
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@cookiemomster: it is SO much easier. I bottle feed as well and I got hell from my hospital with dD1. I was so worried for this LO, I considered driving 45min to another hospital to deliver because it was so awful at my "baby friendly hospital". i ended up having a great experience though - I was more confident in how I was going to feed her, and I had already been through it before so they didn't try to pressure me. I brought my own formula but didn't end up using it because they gave me some every time I asked (they refused to give it to me without a Dr note for DD1). Hopefully you have a similar experience the second time!
In general it has been much easier going from 1-2. Sleep deprivation didn't hit me as hard, my life was already changed, and I now know that everything is a phase. Plus newborns seem easy in comparison to toddlers in a lot of ways
Logistically it's trickier with 2 - trying to wrangle both of them into the grocery store the other day was a bit of a shit show, but that stuff even bothers me less than it did when I only had 1
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I'm scared too, I am sure in most ways it will be so much easier (I was a mess the first time), but I'm still anxious about things I know will be hard. Today we pretended baby was born and I was sitting on the couch nursing her. I was explaining to DD (almost 3 years old) how I would be on the couch with baby a lot and can't help her with everything until baby finishes nursing. She did well and I know she understands in theory. So she was doing great at first until she REALLY wanted me to color with her. Then she insisted baby was finished drinking mommy's milk. I explained over and over in simple terms how baby would cry if we stopped nursing now, how baby was still hungry, baby was not finished, DD1 needed to wait just a little bit longer, etc... And so forth... I feel like there's gonna be so many tears and crying cuz she wants my help or attention while I am nursing a newborn. Nursing a newborn takes freaking forever from what I remember!
Argh... Maybe I should just do a bottle in the afternoons/evenings when DD1 is home after preschool and before she goes to bed.
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Going from 1-2 was much easier.
Major reasons were that my DD1 was almost 2.5, so she was old enough to understand directions and not so dependent on me. Also my DD2 has been the easiest baby I could imagine. She sleeps great and has since 5 or 6 weeks, and is generally the happiest baby anyone has ever seen.
In addition, with DD1 I was obsessed with every little thing and so anxious and paranoid. I'm so much more laid back with DD2. I don't care about wonder weeks and am not too concerned with milestones. I just enjoy having a sweet cuddly baby and an awesome toddler and life is good
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@gracecat: You might end up with an efficient nurser! DS took forever, but DD is fast. The first few weeks we did do some 'while I'm nursing you may have the ipad' time though.
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@MrsSRS: Awww thanks! Yeah I guess I never know, I shouldn't just assume they will be the same! And good idea about the iPad, I'd forgotten about that option.
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Reading that most people found it an easy transition is so nice.... #2 is due in 3 weeks and I'm so worried about the transition!
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@gracecat: DS played enough Endless Alphabet that he can identify all the letters and their sounds now. I can't decide between proud and sheepish (because of the volume of screentime).
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1-2 was much easier!
I don't think anything beats the shock of being a first time mom and all that comes with it!Only 3.5 months in and I feel like I've been parenting two for years! Not that I'm some expert, but in that I'm so much more relaxed, confident in myself, and my babies!
It also helps tremendously that DS2 is such an easygoing baby (perhaps since I'm not so nervous?). Even though DS1 was easy, DS2 is even easier and we thank our lucky stars that they've both gone easy on us!
good luck in your ttc journey!!
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I think they both have their own sets of challenges, but overall 1-2 has been much easier. So far DS is a million times easier thAn DD was, I don't feel stressed or anxious like I was the first time, and since I'm pumping this time it has been much easier on my boobs and I get more sleep bc DH can do feedings too. But 1-2 also has challenges like splitting your time between 2, toddler meltdowns and tantrums while trying to take care of baby, and solo parenting 2.
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So much easier going to two.
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Easier! But my toddler was such an easy baby! My second, not so much. She screamed all the time for the first six weeks and it was really frustrating. I so knew what I was doing... but it didn't matter, the first couple of months were still rather awful.
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@cookiemomster: It was easier going to 2 in a lot of ways BUT I do have to warn you that my toddler (21 months at the time) had SUCH a hard time. It only lasted about 2 weeks, but he went from this sweet well-behaved kid to an emotional, tantrum-filled toddler in about 3 days. Of course, it's a huge adjustment, but it's hard to remind yourself of that and think clearly when you have a newborn and hormones going wild. I cried a lot those first few weeks because I was sure I'd screwed up LO1's life and he would hate me forever. We're now almost 3 months out and he looooves the baby! Kisses all the time and he's back to his sweet self with everyone else, too. Obviously, he has his toddler moments and meltdowns, but overall it's MUCH better than it was!
Also, we delivered at the same hospital, I believe. I can understand your fear with BFing, but I think if you just stick to your guns, it will be okay. My pp nurses were amazing both times and I think if you tell them to not even allow an LC near your room, they'd be happy to do that!
I'm sorry you had an awful experience the first time
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@lilteacherbee: this is what my friend went through and why in nervous. Her daughter really didn't handle the transition very well and it made for a stressful few months in her case.
Thanks for all the insight guys, really good information that's making me excited to start TTC
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These responses all make me so happy...I was terrified to TTC or #2 and then double terrified when we got pregnant so quickly...now at 5.5 months pregnant I am glad to see so many find it easier...
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Busier, but far easier than expected, particularly emotionally.
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@gracecat: not trying to discourage nursing or anything obviously, but so you know my friend almost never pumped with her first because she stays at home so she thought it was a hassle. With her second she pumped a couple times. A day so someone else could feed him while she handled tantrums/was in the car/etc. She said having that flexibility was really helpful. Just some food for thought!
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@Charm54: my baby friendly hospital was a nightmare to this mommy so I really hope to better this time. Thanks for the hope!
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@mrsjyw: this is exactly what I want to hear!! That two easy babies is possible! Yay
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@cookiemomster: Oh yeah, the nurses were totally hands off with me the second time around, unless i asked for it. They were very "you've got this!" and i appreciated it.
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Way easier going from 1-2. I think I've had easy babies, but that's all relative. They weren't super sleepers but they were easily comforted and ate well. I was much more laid back the 2nd time.
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@cookiemomster: I had two easy babies! The second has so far been even easier because she nurses waaaaaaay faster than the first ever did. We're three months into number two and so far it has been far, far easier than I had ever imagined.
I had it as a child and am still given a hard time for what a miserable baby I was.
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