Hellobee Boards

My 2.5 year old is like this sometimes!

If it’s getting ready (or something similar like climbing into the car seat) then I usually ask “do you want to do it or do you need mama to help you?” He usually says he wants to do it. If he is still taking too long then I say “ok you are taking to long. In 5 seconds mama is going to help you” calming count to 5 then man handle him into his shoes or whatever it is. Then quickly move on. After a few times of that, he is now taking the 5 second rule seriously and will be quick because he wants to do it himself.

Things like “can you do it fast like a __ (cheetah, lion, whatever animal he is into) also sometimes work.

It’s so frustrating! So I’m with you.

I think there's a difference between being happy and being manic. The state of mind you describe sounds unhealthy to me, not a simple case of being happy. I think all kids get into that state sometimes, and it's our job to talk them down from it.

I start by having her make eye contact with me. "---, look at me." You might have to start by actually kneeling down to her level at first if she can't do it just by asking her to. Then once she's doing that, I tell her she is too excited and she needs to take some deep breaths. I show her what that means and ask her to do it with me. We do this at least three times. "I need you to get control of yourself. If you don't have control of yourself, we can't do X." I talk to her about what getting control means. Then I ask her to do something really specific, careful not to string commands together (go get your shoes. Okay, now put your shoes on. Go get your coat. Now put your coat on.) while i watch, trying only to directly help when she can't do something. But it requires direct supervision, to let her know that if she dawdles that we are going to go through the breathing routine again until she does it. The exercise isn't a punishment per se but a kind of behavioral training. I try to positively reinforce it by rewarding her with a small treat (Hershey kiss) when she completes the get-out-the-door steps without goofing off. I think part of problems like this is that she has created a cycle, a stimulant and response pattern, and to stop it you need to establish new patterns for her to follow.

Unfortunately, I think it'll require more work initially, but hopefully she will get out of this routine. I don't think 2.5 is too young for these kind of expectations. It's hard, though. Even when you have a plan, sometimes it's just crap.

We have a happy defiant too. I get the best results from counting to 3. I give him a simple consequence. “If you don’t help me put your shoes on I’m going to pick you up and do it.” And then I count. If I get to three and he’s still screwing around I physically (but gently obviously) do it for him. That usually results in tears. But after a few times of follow through, I rarely get to 3 anymore.

I have a happy and silly 29 month old and what seems to work for us is similar to pp. I say, "oh we are having so much fun, but it's time to calm our bodies and _______". Sometimes I have to get down to his level to help him calm down. I also use the phrase "do you want to _____ or do you want mama to ______?" I don't make the "mama" option seem like a punishment though, they are both valid choices where I get what I want either way and he feels in control. I basically just use these 2 phrases on repeat as calmly as possible so doesn't see that it bothers me. It's exhausting but mostly successful.

One thing that I learned was to ask my son what he needed me to do so he understood what I was asking him to do. It was eye opening, and it seems like your child would engage like this at a younger age than my son did.

I get this all the time, and it drives me crazy. I get where the kids are coming from, but it doesn't take away from the problems that result from them dragging their feet - being late to work meetings, class, their friends' parents thinking twice about meeting up with them because they wait 40 minutes for us to get to the playground...

Maybe think twice about making the threat about cancelling activities, and be ready to follow through when you do make it. I've actually cancelled things several times when we were very late. It hasn't stopped goofing off, because kids are kids, but they know that when I say we're not going somewhere if they're dressed in 10 minutes, I mean business.

DD can be like this. While saying I’m so cute. It’s almost the opposite of a tantrum which are very rare for us, but this behavior and taking forever to do things is a daily thing. I know she’s doing it on purpose but does want to go to school/dance whatever. I know she is great at school. I don’t usually yell, but I’ll tell her that I have to help her and put on her shoes and lift her into the seat instead of crawling up. She can completely dress herself- I try to give her 5-10 minutes and just put the clothes, socks and shoes in front of her while I finish getting ready.

Oh and one other thing is pointing out after the fact what she missed out on because she was so slow.

So when she wants a braid for school I explain that we would have had time for a braid if she'd gotten dressed faster but we have to settle for a ponytail. Tell her we'll try again tomorrow.

Or at bedtime, tell her we can't read books tonight because she took so long getting ready for bed and now it's too late.