I know how frustrated I get when people ask me about our baby plans. I can't imagine getting it from a few hundred strangers every week.
http://www.younghouselove.com/2013/03/state-of-the-uterus-address-2013/
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Awww, I love them! And given the circumstances of Clara's birth, I hate that people hound them the way they do. Her complications were so scary I don't blame them if they only want one child.
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I'm a big fan of that post, especially bullet #2
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I was just coming here to post this too!
She had such a scary birth, I can totally understand why they would be nervous about another one.
Plus Clara was just potty trained at age 3. Many families don't want to have two kids in diapers at the same time!
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I just saw it too! I get annoyed when ONE person asks me, I can't imagine how she feels.
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I think this applies for people who don't blog about themselves. Sorry, but if you're putting yourself out there (and making money doing it-- aka, it's your job), then that comes with the territory.
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@HabesBabe: I agree comments come with the territory but if you read blog comments or IG comments its seriously rediculous the amount of comments they get. YHL hand approves each comment so I can see how that gets old. Plus I think it's a really good PSA to put out there for people to read because they may not realize how hurtful the comments are to people in real life either.
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@T.H.O.U.: This-- not only must it be annoying for them, even if it somewhat comes with the territory of blogging about your personal life, but it's a good PSA for general asking if someone is pregnant. Nice little two in one-- back off of us, but also, hey, back off of every lady you think should or might be having a baby.
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@HabesBabe: I think that courtesy is still a good policy to live by, even if someone is a blogger. Lots of people have posted about how frustrating it can be to be asked about future kids... not sure how this is different?
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@mrbee: I was actually just thinking, I wonder if the Bees get these kind of questions a lot, even though you have always been up front about your family being complete!
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@Foodnerd81: back in the day, we got a lot of questions asking when we were going to start a baby site, even after telling people we had had a miscarriage. Then we had a second miscarriage... it was a pretty painful time in our lives.
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Awesome post. I *hate* the baby questions that seem to be bounced in the direction of every woman of childbearing age.
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I'm probably the only person who doesn't regularly read YHL, but my goodness, her birth story was so scary! On top of being a public figure, I can see why she would be a bit annoyed with the questioning, considering how scary her last experience was.
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@T.H.O.U.: I don't read their blog anymore (I stopped awhile back), so I don't know how many comments they get about it-- I'm assuming it IS quite a lot. Like I said, I agree with the PSA aspect of their post, but not the "I get asked this 1,800 times a year!" side of it is something I don't empathize with.
@mrbee: It's different to me because they decide to make a living talking about themselves. If your job is to blog about yourself, then yes, you should expect to have annoying/irritating/sometimes hurtful things asked (not just about being pregnant-- but about how much you weigh, how much money you make, how often you wash your hair, how do you cook ___, etc. etc.).
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@HabesBabe: what about posting to boards... do boards members also fall in the same category?
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@mrbee: if board members made their living by posting on message boards (don't know how that could happen), then they are in the same category to me.
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I feel kind of torn because they've always been upfront about saying they want to have another child, and that they would wait until Clara was 2 at least. So it kind of set up the question to be asked. I'd say it's expected. But the way they're asked constantly is a bit much. I also don't think anyone should ever ask whether someone else is pregnant-- the news is theirs to share in their way in their own time, when they are expecting another. Just like with everyone else.
I really thought they handled it well, and I'm planning to steal a few lines when we get asked. I've also been upfront about being under doctor's orders to wait until X is 2-- but I imagine we'll get questions around then.
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I am so guilty. A few months back I was on total CALLING IT baby watch for them. I felt horrible when they addressed it (LAST YEAR) and I realized how it could come off. I just love them and Clara and would love to see them with another cutie! It comes from a place of love. I guess that's a good thing to remember when you hear that stuff. But yeah, it taught me a definite lesson. I would never have said "when are you going to have kids" to a person IRL but now I realize you can't be doing that and speculating with internet people either. They're people too!
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@HabesBabe: I think people are people and everyone has feelings (even bloggers and celebrities). The way they handled it was top notch, in my opinion. I admit I've asked people if/when they were ready to have kids or number 2 and now I realize that I shouldn't have because of the pain that one question can cause. Even if my intentions were not malicious, our words have power and I try to be as mindful as possible when I know better.
@KJfromNJ: right on!
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@HabesBabe: Another thing to remember is that they are home decorating/diy bloggers. They do not make their living talking about their family planning journey.
So, yes I think its appropriate to ask a Celebrity Chef what they cook in their own kitchen, I don't think anyone would pester someone like that 100x a day about if they were pregnant.
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Exactly. I don't really understand what difference it makes in how they make their living.
As someone who tried for 18 months to get pregnant, the questions are hard even when they are well meaning. My FIL cornered us at a bar one night and said its time for you to get on having kids (he knew we were trying didn't know we were having trouble), and what do you say, you know it comes out of a place of love but its soo hard to hear again and again when you are having trouble. If I were YHL, I don't think I'd have another after what she went through and people should respect that and not ask. -
I'm sure its been ramping up the last few months because on the blog they seem like they're getting their ducks in a row to have another to the outside world. Clara's turning 3, she's potty trained, the book tour is done, they're putting their finishing touches on Clara's big girl bedroom. I know when we told some of friends and family, one of my best friends was over joyed when she pronounced "I knew it! I knew you were pregnant at so and sos party 2 months ago!" even though we hadnt told them. Some people like to think their baby radar is the best in the buisness
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@mrs. tictactoe: Of course people are people and people have feelings, but when you are willingly putting your personal life out there and you are making a profit from sharing details about your home, your family, and your life-- then yes, you should expect to get asked these questions. FWIW, I don't think that most celebrities are in the same boat because only a handful of them are oversharers and sell their stories to the public (baby pictures, wedding photos, etc.).
@T.H.O.U.: They have a separate blog specifically to share info about their family/dog/daughter, right? So they chose to share even more than just DIY projects? And I didn't realize the number of times they were asked a year jumped from 1,800 to 36,500.
Just my opinion-- obviously most don't agree with me, but I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. I don't go around asking friends and family (and especially not random bloggers) about their family plans, but it's honestly something I think that is in the cards when you blog about your personal life.
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@habesbabe: I agree with you. I really do like YHL and I feel bad that Sherry had such a horrifying birth experience, but on the same note, yes they can be annoyed about the pregnancy questions, but they do chose to live their life in the (somewhat) public eye, and they can't really be suprised that they get 1 million questions about their personal life when they blog about their family (which they do) as well as decorating.
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I'm the subject of BabyWatch at work, thanks to the other women who got married last year already getting pregnant and having had their babies. I can definitely empathize with being the centre of speculation.
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I know the types of questions and comments that come with running a site, and sometimes they can be really tough (much much worse than are you pregnant questions). i feel for them because they genuinely seem like a nice couple. I read their site daily and I'm a fan!
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Aww, great post by YHL. I love how they handled it. They are great!
I do give a lot of credit to all the bloggers. I would love to start blogging but I don't think I could deal with the comments from everyone. I'm sure the positive comments woud be great but the negative comments would eat away at me.
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