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I'm with you. Dreadful but true. I think in general women are more open about communicating their preferences, which is why we have a reputation for nagging, making a big deal out of nothing, etc. Many men will unfortunately just suffer, keep it in and one day have an affair, move out, etc. I think that's what's behind the saying....

DH is always saying that It's really more a silly thing to say, b/c obviously if he bends over backwards to make me happy and he is neglected, the marriage wouldn't work. I wouldn't be happy if he's not happy too.

I think DH does stick to the motto for the everyday small things. He always lets me pick/choose/decide whatever makes me happy; he's really not picky/particular. I think it's sweet when he says that to me b/c I know he puts me first and thinks about my happiness.

I think what I do that makes him happy is just to follow his lead on the big things, let him be a/the man, and just giving him space to do what he likes to do too.

Very true. I have no problem admitting that life would be hell for him if he couldnt make me happy. And the same with roles reversed. But I think in our situation it takes more work for him to make me happy than the other way around. Hormones are a bitch

I do most of the household chores, parenting duties (since LO is team mommy) and work full time. My husband absolutely helps but I have to ask for it. Can you vacuum today? Can you do the dishes? And he's more than happy to do it. But the fact that I have to ask for help sometimes drives me nuts. I do things without being asked. But this is exactly why happy wife happy life is so true. If my husband's put in "extra" help (without being asked or *gasp* asks what needs to be done!), it makes me so much more happier since the work is being distributed more evenly and without me having to sound like I'm nagging. And my husband in return gets a happy wife (which makes him less stressed and happy).

I'm not sure why it's a bad saying. We try to have happy wife and happy husband. I do think if either of us are unhappy or unable to shake stress it affects everyone. If the kids are fussy usually we can laugh it off or commiserate with each other but we need each other there in a good mental place in order to do that.

I know my older daughter picks up on subtle differences in my mood and my husband is less stressed in life if his home is at least content for the most part. Seeing other people sad and frustrated can be stressful, especially to kids.

That said I try to be low maintenance to be happy......no big gifts needed - just love and respect.

@Remcatt: I think I understand what you are saying but definitely correct me if I am wrong:
You have realized that you need him to change his behavior in order for you to feel satisfied with the relationship/ situation, and you feel guilty because you are asking him to change and/or increase his efforts? Is that right?

In my relationship I have struggled with the same thing, especially if the change was a significant divergent from our 'original' pattern when we first got married. I would think to myself, "I am the one who changed, I am the one who is changing the expectations, and he is the one who has to deal with the new expectations... is that fair?"
If you have already done some self inventory and determined that the problem can't be resolved through you (for ex: I feel unattractive- do I fix that or does my husband have to increases reassurances? In my opinion that is a 'me' problem, not a 'him' problem), then IMHO, you are totally in the right to ask for what you need from your husband, even if the burden of change rests on him.
My husband and I have had conversations regarding this kind of thing and he repeatedly expresses that he WANTS to know what makes me happy- if I don't tell him he can't even try or debate or whatever.
and on that note- you shared your expectations, but your DH is the one following through with them by choice. If it isn't working, hopefully he will tell you.

For us, I really think it could be the other way around. I am generally happy person so I feel like it doesn't take much to please me and make me happy. DH on the other hand has times where he is such a downer and it truly makes such a difference for us when he is happy. So, I find myself really working to make sure that he is happy since his emotions really affect me. So, "Happy Husband, Happy Home" is right on for us!

@MrsSCB: i agree. Sometimes protecting the relationship means having important conversations for the sake of growth and future happiness.

@lizzywiz: exactly! It's about making the least happy person in the household happy in our family that's me, so the saying is true for us - I can get hung up on silly things and walk around all grumpy, but my husband has a much better sense of perspective. But it could totally be the other way around!

@blackbird: lol. Like a rainbow!

I think this is more true for my husband. I'm pretty easy to please and have a generally happy demeanour.

My husband on the other hand is a little needier in that way.

Totally true for us. I'm just way more high maintenance than DH is and I totally admit that. Part of it is that I'm a lot meaner and more impatient than DH is, but basically, meeting my needs means I'm a way better wife to him and he's infinitely happier. I am very loyal and considerate to DH and work hard to keep him happy too, but I have a harder time dealing with resentment and feeling taken for granted, while he just shakes things like that off. He doesn't care if he's done the laundry 5 times in a row, while I do.

So he is always asking me if he can help with something, if I'm happy, and thanks me profusely for things so I don't feel taken for granted. He doesn't need that much validation in return, but does thrive on encouragement and "I'm proud of you" and my fierce loyalty, so I tend to pour that on.

I think it's true. But I also think the converse is true. I like how @lizzywiz: put it about the house only being as happy as the least happy person. I think this saying comes about because women tend to require a little more to be happy than men.

True for us. DH always says when I'm happy, we're all happy! I think he loves seeing me happy regardless and that brings him joy too.