I came across this article recently and thought it was interesting. DS is 20 months and is starting to tell me when he is poopy, is curious when we use the potty, helps me flush, etc. So I am starting to think about how to handle potty training. Have any bee's out there used this non-training approach? What was your experience like?
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I know a set of parents who thought they'd be more child-led because they figured it'd be faster and easier to just wait until the child communicated signs of wanting to use the potty, rather than training him. But honestly, what I think happened was that training was inevitable, in that the parents unwittingly trained their toddler to become totally comfortable with diapers. There was no social pressure to use the potty (although they gently encouraged it), and I guess without that pressure, over time diapers just became normal to him. He became attached to them. I mean, he wasn't scared of going potty--by the time they ditched the child-led stuff, he had no fear of it and completely understood it and could even go on command sometimes. But it's almost like they lost that window where kids are uncomfortable sitting in poop and want to use the potty. He even had no reservation about peeing or pooping on the floor when they had him go bottomless while they decided to train at last (there was no "Uh oh!" or "Mommmmyyyyy!" --he didn't care at all about having accidents). It was a long, hard road for them. Maybe this method has to do with the personality of your kid?
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Our pediatrician told us that our child won't be potty trained until she wants to be. This article goes along with what he said. Thank you for posting it, that helps me think we're doing the right thing right now.
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We introduced the potty early partially because our friends never pushed the issue and their son would go and hide to poop and was terrified of the potty at close to 4. And they were at the point where both parents worked and preschool no longer wanted to change diapers. Then when we moved our neighbors never trained their son because their older daughter had trained herself and he couldn't start kindergarten because he wasn't fully potty trained. Those two kids made me worried so we encourage the potty early so they're not scared of it.
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I trained my son later than the average person I think, 3 1/2. There were a few reasons the most prevalent being I had a baby right around his 3rd birthday and I didnt care about changing 2 diapers vs changing one diaper and monitoring a toddler, cleaning up gross messes on my floor all the while trying to handle a newborn so I waited. My son was one of those who couldnt care less he was in a dirty diaper too and never bothered to tell me when he went. I decided to start around 3 1/2 from pressure from his pre-school as well as I felt at that age he was hitting the limits too of not being potty trained socially. Potty training honestly stinks no matter how you slice it, its one of those parenting things you cant model and are dependent on your child to grasp mostly on their own which is frustrating and hard for both parties. In the end it was as all potty training is, difficult, frustrating, and un-fun but it only took 2 weeks with only about 5 accidents I think because of his older age. He was just able to grasp more concepts because he was older and so Im a big proponent of waiting longer than trying sooner and letting the child somewhat initiate it because it just seems easier than fighting it.
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@Mrs. Chocolate: my MIL bought my LO a potty right before lo2 was born. He was 17 mo old. She tried to convince me my mat leave was the best time to do it. Um...no.
We won't push hard. We model the potty and talk about it. I ask LO if he wants to use it and sometimes he says yes, but mostly it's s pretty quick no. If we do potty train, I think I might just strip him down and let him play outside naked this summer until he goes to the potty!
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I guess we're doing this now. Someone asked me if we were potty training LO recently and I said that I think we're "potty learning." They asked the difference. DH laughed and said the difference is that we're failing at potty training but succeeding at potty learning.
We're not pushing potty training because LO still poops during the night most nights and daycare isn't ready for it yet.
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We're doing potty learning! We have a potty and a seat that goes over the toilet. We go to the bathroom in front of her and talk about it. She tells us when her diaper is wet or dirty and she takes her diaper off, gets a new diaper for herself and takes the old diaper to the trash. She's not interested in going on the potty, which is fine with me! I don't care when she starts going on the potty - I have no particular desire for her to be pottying regularly at this point. Since she seems interested in it and starting to be aware of toileting, it seemed prudent to introduce the concept of the potty at this time. She's 19 months.
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