Brief background: friend from school asked me to be one of her bridesmaids a few months back, wedding in Sep 2020. I'm not very close to her and don't know her family or other friends at all. I agreed, but it's dawning on me now that it's a lot of commitment and time, and I have such precious little time off from my job, the thought of using it for dress shopping, bachelorette events, etc is causing me some resentment, I have to admit. I've already missed out on dress shopping (hers and ours) because I work nights and weekends and the schedules don't work for me.

I'm so worn down from work, family, and now dealing with infertility and the depression that goes with it. I know I can't be a good and supportive bridesmaid.

My question is, is it ever ok to back out? Will this really mess up her plans, if the wedding is 8+ months away? What would be the best way to go about this?