Have you ever declined to be a bridesmaid? Is it even possible without being a complete a-hole?
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I've never been asked to be a bridesmaid. Since I sing, most of the people ask me to sing at the weddings. I'm hoping when my sisters get engaged I can be a bridesmaid.
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I did. My cousin wanted me as her maid of honor, but I had just given birth to my Lo. Baby would have been a month old at the wedding, but there was no way I was going to fly 4 hours with a newborn and squeeze my fat bod into a dress.
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@chopsuey119: What did you tell her? Did you keep it short and simple or give her the full explanation?
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I haven't, but a friend of mine turned me down. She was convinced that she'd get pregnant right away and be 9 months pregnant at my wedding. Turned out that it took awhile and she was only 4 months pregnant by the time I got married. And, even though at the time I thought her reasoning was lame, I never thought she was an A-hole. I was bummed, but I got over it.
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I recently stepped down from standing in a good friends wedding..... It's actually happening today.
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@Crumbs: I kept it short and simple. Said I didn't feel comfortable flying with a newborn and didnt wanna leave her at home either. Not sure if my cousin understood, but it worked out since the wedding was cancelled.
I've found that people are pretty understanding when you use your kid as an excuse
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DH's aunt asked me to be one in her vow renewal (she's been married for 14 years but didn't have the big church wedding she wanted, so they had one) but then never followed up with me about it & i didn't really want to do it in the first place so i didn't mention it again and the show went on without me =D also his sister is getting married next year, although no date has been set and he doesn't live in the country yet, so things could change, but she asked me to be a bridesmaid when the time comes. i told her i'd love to be part of her day however i can but that we'd like to start a family soon and i totally understand that being pregnant or having a newborn could cause problems being in a wedding and that no matter what i'd find a ways to help, whether i was an official bridesmaid or not.
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@chopsuey119: I'm taking your advice. I hope it works! But it really is because of LO, though mine probably isn't as legit since she'll be 7 mo =/ But we are flying internationally and she will be staying with family she's never seen before. Just writing that out already sounds so lame
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Hallelujah! I enlisted our mutual friend to break the news for me. Damn, seriously ... why didn't I think of this before!!!
BTW, I've already told her previously that I couldn't do it, so it's not a surprise for her.
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I have never declined. I was the maid of honor for my cousin when my twins were young. I just did the best I could. I told her I couldn't plan her shower or bachelorette party but that I would attend everything. She understood. I had a 10 month old and twins that were 2 months. So I got lots of help and did lots of pumping but we survived and my cousin was happy I was there. Oh yeah I also bought my dress way bigger and had it taken in just before. I didn't want to freak out about dress sizes and a post twin body.
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@Crumbs: hahaha good! Glad everything worked out! I know 2 people who are going to ask me to be in their wedding party.. Gonna use my kids as an excuse and suggest that they use my children as a flower girl/ring bearer instead
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WAAAAHHHH! I got betrayed! The mutual friend that was supposed to convince her convinced me instead. OMG, I love the heck out of my friend and feel honored and all, but man I'm not ready to be seen right now! Oh man ... I guess I gotta crash diet for a month!
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I haven't but at this point, I think I would turn down a friend if I was asked. It's so consuming and with a baby, I couldn't imagine planning showers and bachelorette parties and trying on dresses and finding gifts and all that goes with being in a wedding other than the wedding itself - unless of course it was a really good friend or relative.
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@Crumbs: Oh my!!!!! I know you will be beautiful!!!!
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Yup. My friend and I scheduled our weddings within a week of each other. It was impossible to move my date because it was the only date available for my SIL/photographer for 4 months, and she was unwilling to. We still attended each others weddings but didn't participate really. But then she ended up changing her date anyway, and by then it was too late.
eeek sorry you didn't want to do it! I hope it works out!
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Yes. My brother is awful, and I do not care for his fiancee either. My brother was supposed to be a groomsman in my wedding but bailed the day before because I refused to change important parts of the wedding two days before that didn't affect him. Lots more, but want to keep this short.) I am 99% sure he is lying to her about all the things he has done.
I found out she was going to ask me in an extremely awkward situation . She is extremely oversensitive I told my brother that I strongly recommended he talk to her. I told him that if she askeds me, I would say no and I would give her an honest answer why. She never asked me.
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I declined for a good friend of me once... it was a really bad time and I was stressed out and totally broke. I felt bad about it and apologized a lot, but in the end it was just better this way.
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