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No offense, but I think your sister has one of the most strange outlooks on starting a family I have heard of...Selfish??? So nobody is supposed to have biological children? That is odd!

It is selfish, but I don't think that equates with "bad". There is a book called, "The selfish gene" and there are lots of reasons we have a biological imperative to procreate. That doesn't make you a bad person in any way.

Adopting, having bio kids are both selfish acts. It fills a need in us, whatever that need might be. Anyone who says that they are doing it for altruistic reasons might want to re-examine.

(All of this is said in love by the way).

@pui: I'm sorry to hear that

It may be selfish, but it is also biological like @Mrs. Jacks: said. If we didn't have the urge to procreate, our species could never perpetuate itself. Tell her it is science's fault!

@Mrs. Jacks: yah thanks! There wouldn't be anybody here if we didn't have the biological urge to procreate!
And for those who are CFBC, they even us out so thr were not too populated

So what would the alternative be? People stop having sex? Or if you want sex, Be forced into using birth control and then abortions for any mistakes? I get what she is saying, however biologically its not very realistic.

Sure, having kids is a totally selfish thing to do. We do it....like most everything else in our lives....because we want to. So, yeah, like everything else in life; you can call it a selfish choice. It's a lose-lose; you hear "selfish choice" against both people who have kids and people who chose not too. Just gotta keep on keeping on with your happy family

@Mrs. Jacks put it really well, I think. Sure, it's less of a biological imperative now, but that doesn't mean we've evolved past that. (Millions of years from now, maybe.)

And really, if you're against having kids? DON'T HAVE A KID. This works both ways: I won't go around telling child-free women that they absolutely should have babies, and they can all agree to leave me alone about my reproductive choices.

@Mrs. Jacks: took the words right out of my mouth. Well said!

EVERYTHING we do is selfish in some way. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't do anything. Ignore her and enjoy the amazing mix of selfishness and selflessness of being a mama!

Selfish is having a child when you can't give said child a good life (not only financially.) Yes, there is some selfish aspect to it I guess but the act of parenting is anything but. Plus, the idea that everyone should adopt until all adoptable children are adopted is kind of crazy and I don't think it would work out so well for most..