So many things going on, but same old stuff - still infertile, still no baby, due dates for miscarriages approaching...
What do you do to look after yourself in the tough times?
I've gone to the gym, snuggled my beautiful little family, and cried a LOT.... but I still just feel so utterly sad today.
cherry / 147 posts
@jaguar: I've been following your blog and some of your journey here on WB but been a 'silent reader' I just wanted to say that you're such an amazing mom. My heart is really routing for you, from across the world in canada. I cannot wait to cheer you on when you get your BFP and rainbow baby. I havent traveled down the same road as you, but i just wanted to let you know that you're in my thoughts. 
pomelo / 5129 posts
So much love to you. Approaching milestones really hurt.
I usually let myself feel sad and pout and become useless (I'll camp on the couch and pretty much do nothing for a day)
After accomplishing nothing, I start making small goals so I won't downward spiral into total depression and accomplish nothing.
Can you do something special for yourself? Maybe get a pedicure or go to lunch with a girlfriend who's good at talking about things not related to babies?
pear / 1558 posts
I love to get massage or a pedi. It feels selfish & indulgent & at least helps me feel better for a bit. Hugs to you.
nectarine / 2641 posts
No advice, I just want you to know I'm thinking of you. Sometimes life just sucks. So sorry.
persimmon / 1479 posts
@jaguar: sorry you're having a rough day 
I'm thinking of you
I find writing about my feelings sometimes helps. I also try to consciously write about things I am grateful for and appreciate. It's hard though because infertility is so terrible 
pear / 1986 posts
@jaguar: I'm right there with you friend… every day is tough here too right now. But I wish it wasn't that way for either of us! Lots of hugs!!
cantaloupe / 6634 posts
I'm so sorry, jag. You are such a beautiful person and I can't wait to hear wonderful news from you.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
I'm sorry, Hun! We're gonna get those rainbow #2s- it's going to happen! I was having a pity party yesterday. I just want to be done TTC forever.
pomegranate / 3212 posts
I'm so sorry. Maybe go for a run and then pamper yourself in coziness? Or just let yourself be sad. That can be healing too. Again, so sorry for how things have been going on the road to number 2.
pineapple / 12793 posts
I'm so sorry you are having a rough day. You have had such bad luck this year and deserve so much better than the cards you've been dealt. I too am a silent follower/supporter. There are women around the world routing for you. You are such a lovely mother to Georgia, I pray that your rainbow baby comes soon. Love and hugs from Toronto.
pear / 1786 posts
I am so sorry. I think of you often. IF sucks and I usually wallow in self-pity for a while. But then I do try to find ways to pull myself up out of my sadness. Sometimes focusing on my blessings helps. Other times I pamper myself with a massage or manicure. I plan a get-a-way, even if it is far in the future, so that I have something to look forward to. Occasionally a glass of wine. Sometimes just going to bed and trying to remember that tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities. Hugs and best wishes!
grapefruit / 4028 posts
Definitely let yourself be sad, and like Mary said, I make small goals of things I can do.
Lots of hugs, friend.
pomelo / 5621 posts
Sending lots of love your way
You are always in my thoughts and I hope things go your way soon. I'm rooting for you.
Others have given some great advice.
nectarine / 2220 posts
I don't really know what to do to help the situation, but just wanted to send hugs.
pomegranate / 3375 posts
Love & light to you. I can tell by your post and the outpouring of love from others that you are amazing.
pomegranate / 3601 posts
Another silent "finger crosser" here! Maybe get a babysittter and get some alone time with hubs? Lots of hugs coming your way
pomegranate / 3764 posts
Thanks guys. After a pretty mopey day, my little one is in bed, and I'm letting myself have a bath, some cheesy television & maybe even a pedicure.
Hopefully tomorrow can go back to business as usual.
pomelo / 5791 posts
So many hugs and tons of love, Jags. I'm so sorry you are going through this
nectarine / 2600 posts
Hugs to you. I know it sucks. Let yourself feel all your feelings. The last thing I did to give myself strength was get a huge tattoo! But yeah, that's not for everyone. Other things I did was go to the salon, get a new hair-do, etc.
Take care of yourself
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I went out with girlfriends to mark those tough milestones. My husband didn't really understand the importance, but girlfriends did.
I'm so sorry for what you are going through.
honeydew / 7916 posts
@jaguar: I'm so sorry you're stuck in this repeating circle of sadness...I hope sooner rather than later you finally get your break. The IF coach I worked with suggested putting together a little shrine of sorts, didn't have to be religious in any way. Just a spot in my home where I could surround myself with things that had meaning and energy, maybe a special picture. That inspired me to visit Peru, and we brought back a piece of salt from a hike (probably a huge no no!) which we keep next to the candle from our wedding, a piece of marble we got in Santorini, a vase we got in Oaxaca, and a pretty container a friend gave me in college. Just things that remind me that life has adventures ahead we don't know about.
Take good care of yourself.
pear / 1837 posts
Just feel the sad. It's a part of the process (or so my therapist says...) life is not fair, and it's hard and you've dealt with so much. Hang in there.
Also, I've found that watching Parks & Rec helps my sadness when I need an escape.
apricot / 394 posts
Sending hugs! I've been following your story and I'm in a similar boat as you. Been TTC#2 for over a year now and been with RE for 5 months and nothing is working. We are now taking a break from fertility, as I can't handle the emotional pain right now. I have my moments too but then I squeeze my little girl and realize how lucky I am to have her. Thinking of you!
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@jaguar: Lots and lots of hugs for you! I'm so so sorry you have to deal with this. IF sucks!!
pomelo / 5524 posts
Just wanted to let you know that I still think of you on a daily basis, and it's ok to be sad.
persimmon / 1328 posts
I am so sorry you are having a rough day. I have found that there are days where I just have to let myself be sad and cry it out. I tend to bottle things up, but once I let it go I feel so much better and can focus on the good things in my life again. Take care
pomegranate / 3764 posts
Thanks all. I really hope things take a turn towards something positive, because I'm feeling pretty beaten right now.
eggplant / 11861 posts
@jaguar: IF is a BIT*H 
I am so sorry you are feeling down, but let yourself feel that way, it is not easy!
You are a strong women and have over come so much so far........keep going and I pray you get an end to this road soon with a blessing!!!!!!
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