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I just feel like everybody else is like oh, 45 minutes oh whatever. I mean, over an hour? And he's basically not calming down at all?

DH just said he's not going to let him do this for more than 2 hours. I told him, then why did we do it at all? That then we'll basically have to start from scratch tomorrow night. He rolled his eyes. Ha.

ETA At 7:49, he stopped crying completely. He's still awake I think, it looks like he's sucking his thumb on the monitor but he's not even fussing. I can't tell if his eyes are open.

Ugh 7:57 and he's back to crying again. We're going to wait 10 minutes.

2 hours and he's still not asleep. He's had periods where he's quieted down but has still not gone to sleep.

Is this abnormal? Is he just not ready for this? I just want to put him in the rock n play and end it already...

We gave up after 2 hours of crying, on and off. He had maybe 20 total minutes after 1 and a half hours, where he was quiet but awake. Then he started crying again and we just couldn't do it anymore. As soon as his body hit the rock n play, he was out and slept until 3 a.m. when he woke to eat. I feel terrible. We basically made him cry for 2 hours and then accomplished nothing except tiring him out.

The worst part is my husband. I'll do all this research and present him with options and he'll say which he wants to do, and then we do it and he's all, "this is ridiculous, stupid Ferber, he's screaming, listen to him, this isn't working." After my first check, I came out and he was like, "that's it? You didn't even comfort him. I was in there for 2 minutes. He's still crying!" And after I yelled at him not to make me feel shitty and informed him that I did comfort him and talked to him and kissed his face a million times, he didn't even apologize. So basically, I do all the sleep training research, he goes, " whatever, fine, sounds good, let's do it," then we do it and he's like, "this is awful and mean, why are we doing this?"

@Keppa: interesting, thanks. He seems to be through the regression, barring the 3 wake ups Thursday night -- he had been back down to 1 the rest of the week. But I guess he's just still not ready to be anywhere but the rock n play. So I don't know. I guess we'll just try again at 5 months but I can't do CIO again so maybe we'll try the countdown

oh and I don't even need him to STTN. I'm fine with 1-2 night feelings if he needs them. I just want him to be able to sleep somewhere other than his rock n play and be able to put himself back to sleep, both so we don't have to sit there intermittently rocking him upwards of 30 minutes every night until he falls asleep because if we leave the room sooner he'll cry for us 3-4 times... And because sometimes he does wake up when not hungry and needs our help to put him back to sleep. It just sucks because he won't nap in the crib at daycare, we can't visit my dad because he won't nap in their playpen, I have to bring the rock n play and basically spend the whole visit rocking him to sleep in that thing which is impossible because it won't rock on their stupid carpet. If we have guests and LO needs a nap i spend all this time in the other room trying to get him to nap. basically I know I'm selfish but i hate thst he needs us still 90% of the time to fall asleep. Ugh. Ok now I'm on a tangent.

@SleepyMonkey: no, it's ok. It's good to hear. I just feel terrible for trying to force him to do something he's not ready for.

@MerryC: we've tried staying in the room and he still cries the same way. We've tried not rocking him, just having him in the rock n play but we're right there. He tries and tries to sleep, sucks his thumb, rubs his lovey on his face, but won't fall asleep most of the time unless we rock the rock n play. We also tried being in the room while he's in his crib and he still screamed and screamed till we took him out and put him back in the rock n play. Granted I haven't tried sleep sense's precise approach of gradually removing yourself, so maybe we'll try that later on. basically he gets so upset that even if we're in the room and we talk to him or pat him, he's so worked up he can't acknowledge what we're doing so it doesn't soothe him at all. The only thing that "works" is giving in and putting him back in the rock n play.

@photojane: he's not napping well at daycare. They put all the babies down at 9:30 and he's always the only one who doesn't sleep. Then they do lights out from 12-2 and he'll usually finally sleep around 1, for an hour maybe, but usually more like 30 minutes. He ends up getting a total of 1-2 hours of naps at daycare and is sometimes so overtired he's screaming on the way home or too tired to nurse when we get home. They try really hard and pull out all the stops. They try rocking him in their arms, napping him in the crib, I got him a noise machine, they use his paci, they put him in the swing, put him in the bouncer. And it's just a crapshoot -- there's nothing that works consistently. He'll just basically pass out once he's tired enough. And then wake up the minute somebody walks through the room or a baby cries, etc. Sometimes he'll do an amazing 2-hour nap and this week he was a bit better but there's just no consistency. Which makes a routine impossible because whatever we do on the weekends doesn't match what's going on during the week. I know some of this is just basic "they can't nap at daycare" but I believe most of it is compounded by the fact that he doesn't know how to fall asleep on his own.

@erwoo: yeah we will probably not try again until he's 5 months. The problem is, any type of transition out of the rock n play automatically comes with a struggle. The only way to soothe him to sleep is by rocking the rock n play. Very occasionally, this isn't necessary and his paci and lovey are enough -- as long as hes in the rnp. he doesnt acknpwledge his lovey or leep his paci in if he's in the crib/pnp. He will not get drowsy or fall asleep if we rock him in our arms and he rarely falls sleep nursing -- only if he is beyond exhausted. Even if we do get him drowsy, the second he hits the crib he's wide awake and crying. So basically unless we are willing/able to do some sort of sleep training, it feels like he is just always going to be in the rock n play. Which is what it is, I know it's not the end of te world for now, but he's getting big for it and he's squirming himself into awkward positions and like I mentioned earlier in this comment, it means he can't sleep anywhere else but home, in his rock n play.

Btw we have tried elevating his crib and pnp mattresses and tried a rolled up towel under his sheets to "nuzzle" him
And neither have worked.

I think really the problem is me and my lack of consistency/follow through and me and DH's total inability to support each other or be on the same page at any given moment. But I think one thing is clear: CIO does not work for him.