Not sure where to post this but...our 11mo LO hates getting her diaper changed! It’s not actually the diaper but she refuses to lay still and it’s becoming really stressful especially when it’s poop. She just rolls and crawls away and if we hold her she squirms and screams. Sometimes I am almost in tears! We try toys, books, remote controls (ha) and nothing works to distract her. Sometimes we resort to the iPhone and even that isn’t fool proof. We have our ILs in town this week and they’ve offered to watch her but I don’t think they’ll be able to change her diaper. She can’t stand without holding on to something yet so doing it standing works ok once we’ve wiped but I can’t wipe her while she’s standing. Is there a secret tip out there? Or can you at least tell me this will get better as she gets older? I’m losing it! Thanks!
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I have no secret tips unfortunately, but I just (mostly) got past this with my now 18 month old. The diaper changes were the worst part of my days and we’re frequent for at least 3 months. Screaming, crying, writhing around and me trying not to hurt my kid while holding down with force.
I did not have this issue at all with my first kid who I could easily distract with a toy, book, wipes container, or anything.
I did give my phone and that didn’t work well for very long, I also tried giving lots of warning for the transition and talking about it out loud, also didn’t help. My husband’s pro tip (haha. He does a very small fraction of the changes I do and our kid has never given him the kind of grief that I get given) was to select a desired toy first and make sure their was happiness and then lie down to change. It didn’t work for me. Sometimes it worked well if I very loudly burst into a song right when I lay my kid down. Does she do this for everyone or just you? My kid saved the nightmare for me and would let my mother and dad change with little to no issues.
Support! It DOES get better. Now maybe once a day or every two days my kid gives me a bit of grief, but it is nothing at all like the awful times I had before. So 1/7 ish changes per day isn’t too bad. I do stand ups sometimes but only for pee.
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I would sit sideways with a leg over the chest to pin them in place (leg can just hover an inch above them, they can’t move). Go as fast as possible. Ignore the behaviour.
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Have you tried the strap that comes on the changing pad yet? It might help at least a little.
But yeah, we’re there too. It’s not that he hates it and is mad. It’s that he is just too excited by everything and wants to sit up or roll over to see or grab something. It’s super annoying. But also super normal at this age. My older did it too. It will eventually pass!
Oh, what worked for my older one and I’ve tried a couple times with this baby is to do it on livingroom floor with tv on. He laid there and watched and I could do a quick change. -
Try a plastic Easter egg. Show her how to put it together, then take it apart and see if she can do it while you change her. It might be just challenging and entertaining enough to get through it.
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@Mrs. Champagne: +1
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@JJ2626: Does she tone down the writhing around when it’s someone other than you? My DS gave me and daycare workers the hardest time but behaved better with DH. And was an angel with grandparents. It showed me that he could control himself at least, just was pushing boundaries where he thought the resistance might get him somewhere.
So main tip is trade off with anyone willing so that you can maintain your sanity. And second, I believe it will get better *some* as her attention span grows at the fun toy or gadget “works” longer.
Hang in there!
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We've dealt with this to some degree with all of our babies around this age. We keep a few really coveted small toys, even things that are usually off limits, just for diaper changes. Hot wheels have worked, as have DW's glasses, phones, a bottle, paper coffee filters, a crinkly, cheap plastic water bottle, a plastic egg, me wearing a necklace that looks really interesting and keeping it just out of reach, etc. But mostly we just go really fast and try to ignore it as much as possible. Good luck! I know it can be so frustrating.
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If you place your fingers firmly where the thigh meets her body, you can get a lot of leverage to keep her from rolling over or scooting away. She needs to pivot that hip to maneuver but can’t.
This might not be popular, but I cheerily say, “Please don’t fight me on this. I’ll always win!” And then I do. If the diaper change takes half an hour, so be it. I don’t try to get it on as fast as possible—my goal is to win the battle of wills so that they learn that this behavior is not productive for them. There comes a point where they are too exhausted to fight anymore. When they go limp and the fighting energy is gone, I give lots of verbal praise and pull some yogurt melts out of my pocket as a reward. I only have to do battle 3-5 times before their old habit is replaced with this new one. At least, that’s been my experience with my two kids. Some kids have more will than others.
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So, this is advice that was once shared in a mummy group I belong to from a daycare teacher. Their advice was to stay fully in the moment of the diaper change, so basically stay with the kid mentally. Don't just rush through the change but rather comment everything you do to the child and also let them help as much a possible (i.e. let them lift their bum to fit the new diaper underneath etc.). As simple as it sounds it made a HUGE difference for a lot of us once we tried it out. So now when one of my twins is "misbehaving" I'll start by narrating that we're going to change their diaper now and maybe stroke their cheek or when already undressed blow a raspberry on their belly and then continue narrating everything to them. All the wiggling has pretty much stop since then.
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@Pumuckl: I totally forgot that I used to narrate everything for LO and it definitely meant calmer changes.
I don’t know how daycare does it, but they change kids standing up too even poo. Does your LO get changed by others? She may be less challenging for others besides mom or dad.
For a little while LO was super squirmy and uncooperative, but it got better.
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This is very common. Pretty much anytime I see a diaper being changed in LO's daycare class, the kid is pitching a huge fit. I agree with narrating as being helpful. My LO also has a weird affection for lotion bottles, which I let him play with, but sounds like you've tried a bunch of objects without luck... I think it does get a bit better with time...
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E sometimes does acrobatic tricks at 15 months during diaper changes. Usually they happen when I'm in a hurry or when she knows I'll call daddy in for back up and distraction. It used to be every change so she is just growing out of it while using it for boundary pushing purposes.
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Thank you all! I’m glad at least I’m not alone. @Petitduck: @Amorini: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Unfortunately she does it for everyone! Our nanny is more skilled at diaper changes (ha) so I don’t think it stresses her out as much but LO is equally squirmy!
@Mrs. Champagne: @Hypatia: @Pumuckl: @SweetiePie: @periwinklebee: I’m going to try all these tips! We do toys now but maybe having a few that are special treats will work, and I’ll also try holding her down better. We do try to narrate and I think she dgaf but we’ll keep doing it. Thanks!Ugh I want her to just wake up tomorrow deciding diaper changes are fun!
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@JJ2626: that’s crummy. I worked at several daycares and never had issues hanging kids so my own kid really threw me. Ha! I have recently started changing in the floor and that helped for some reason.
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we had this problem for a while with my son starting at 8 months but I think at around age 1.5, he started to lie there quietly and he even willingly lifts his legs to be wiped! so there is hope!
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My solution was more like @mrs. Champagne - I'd sit on the floor and hold shoulders down with my feet and change really fast. Standing changes never worked for me. Both kids grew out of it pretty quickly.
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