DH and I are separating. This has been 100% my choice and he is extremely unhappy about it. There is a long backstory that I do not want to get into but the jist of it is that we are not compatible in certain areas. We've been in therapy on and off for 6 years (since right after we married) and things just haven't gotten to where they need to be so I have chosen to end things.

My questions:
DH is refusing to lean on outside parties for support. He does not want to go to therapy alone and does not want to talk to his friends about things. He frequently texts me that he is having a hard time. I want to be compassionate and caring but his texts are guilt inducing. How do I ask him to stop leaning on me for support without sounding like a complete bitch?

He flat out refuses to talk about anything except the schedule for our joint custody. I am ready to file but he wants to wait. This has been going on since the beginning of May and I would like to get on with things. Any suggestions on how to tell him that I would like to talk about things so I know where my life is going? Thankfully, we are refinancing our house and they are requiring an appraisal so that forces his hand there but we need to talk about health insurance for our son, savings, debts, etc.

I know the majority of his reluctance to talk about things with other people, as well as talking about our stuff, is because he does not want to accept that its ending. I know that I technically can file without his input but I would like this to be as amicable as possible and for us to agree on everything before it goes to a judge. We are trying to DIY everything since I am in the legal field and we'd like to save as much money as possible. If need be we will go to a mediator but I know we will agree on all issues, we just need to actually talk about them!