One of DH's friends recently bought a house and has asked DH to help him move. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I don't want him to help! This friend is very well off and is notoriously cheap. DH works 70-80 hours a week and the weekends are really his only time to be with LO and my only time to relax. Not to mention he has a weak back from a bungee jumping accident.
Is it wrong that I expect a 45 year old to pay for a moving company?
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
Well, maybe it's regional- but everyone here always helps friends move. Honestly until hellobee I didn't know moving companies existed because it was always a community thing! Growing up I always helped my friends families move and we'd usually have a pizza party afterwards or something. When we moved last year, tons of friends offered to help.
grapefruit / 4649 posts
I feel like 30-35 is about the cut off! If they can make it fun and offer pizza and beer I might be willing to help unpack but really people have better things to do with their time and moving companies don't charge that much! So, I am on your side!
pomelo / 5000 posts
Ha! We just went through this, and I so understand. Our friend said he'd buy us pizza and beer for helping, which doesn't quite motivate a group of folks in their 30s like it did when we were younger. I understand asking help with bigger/heavier items, but expect my friends to either move themselves or pay for someone at this point.
GOLD / pomegranate / 3938 posts
@Mrs. Pen: ditto. Even if you use a moving company, there may be things you just want to move yourself. True friends help friends move. Hahaha.
pineapple / 12793 posts
In my twenties I wouldn't think twice about helping friends, I just think now we have more resources and better things to do.
If it makes any difference, the house he bought is $1M +. And he hasn't met our daughter yet, she's ten months.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Errr yeah. Sounds like he can afford packers and movers.
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
Ugh, friends ALWAYS ask DH to help them with stuff and he always says yes! DH believes friends help friends and that if we ever needed help, these friends would come. I pointed out that when we moved to our house not one of these friends were there on moving day. Psh.
pear / 1510 posts
Um, no. He's got enough money to hire movers. If he were a really good friend, I might consider it, but if he can't even make time to meet your baby, it's ridiculous to think your DH should make time to help him move.
In any case, I LOVE movers. They're fast and they can get furniture into rooms that we could never maneuver. I have movers to thank for the gigantic couch in the nursery that I use all the time.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
We used to be the guys with the truck so we always got tapped to help. We sold the truck last year and that helped change the dynamic.
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
we're all about professional movers! we haven't even had friends that asked for a long time though. help putting together Ikea stuff or whatever is different--we still will help/ask for help with that!
coconut / 8483 posts
@oliviaoblivia: I'd want him to get movers.
BIL is SUPER cheap and asked DH to take a day off from work and drive three hours to help him move into his half million dollar house. DH did it. I couldn't believe it. I feel your pain, girl!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I get annoyed when my BIL asks DH to help...he never helps us and he can afford movers.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I think it's up to your husband to say "nope can't help, I have a back injury". There *shouldn't* be further pressure.
Help with movibg post a years out of college for people gainfully employed does seem a tad weird. Moving companies are not that expensive. Heck, U-Haul and some labor pool guys would be cheap as well.
pomegranate / 3329 posts
@Mrs. Pen: @MrsMcD: I'm with you guys, we rent a u-haul and have a few big trailers and trucks, then we have food and drinks afterwards last time we grilled.
We moved every 5 years or so while growing up, and only once did my parents hire a moving company and that's because we moved to Alaska...
If he's well off I'd just expect better food and drinks 
coconut / 8430 posts
I would be annoyed too. I think I'd be worried he would injure his back again.
pomelo / 5258 posts
We're moving in a few weeks and trying to decide if we should hire movers. It never occurred to me that my friends would take he price of our home into consideration. It's over half a million dollars but everything is here. That doesn't mean we're sitting on money after closing costs, pest repairs, etc.
We have been the couple that helped everyone move the last several years. We always said we were building our moving karma for when we got a house. Now that LO is here and all our friends have LOs I think we're just going to pay for movers. We'll still need to rally some friends to move things from my grandma's house though. They will get pizza & beer.
pineapple / 12053 posts
Um, yeah, he can get movers. We totally help friends move (some are moving today and everyone is pitching in) but we're talking about a small apartment to a townhome and the wife is pregnant.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I think once you reach a certain age and financial status, you should just pay the movers. For some things, I can see wanting to move yourself and ask a really close friend for help. Or if someone is struggling, sure. But in general I feel we are at an age where you should hire someone. They are so much faster anyway!
However I think a bad back means you should automatically get out of it!
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I have used movers the last 15 years, I can not fathom asking people to carry my heavy furniture carefully. Plus, I have a gajillion things to do on the weekend and its our time, even if I want to just chill and do nothing.
Pizza and beer for a day of my time? No thanks!
coconut / 8472 posts
Ha, I got annoyed with someone a few weeks ago who asked DH to help them move. I feel like unless you're a poor college, or shortly post-college student then you should be hiring real movers. Not asking friends to give up their weekend time to carry around your heavy furniture because you're too cheap. The cost of moving should be factored into the decision. If you can't spend a few hundred dollars on movers, then maybe you should be waiting to move. (In my opinion)
eggplant / 11716 posts
@ShootingStar: just curious, where do you live? Here, moving from a 1 bedroom to a 2 bedroom about a mile away was going to cost us 2000 dollars. Needless to say, we had a friend help and moved ourselves. I was 9 months pregnant.
coconut / 8430 posts
@Anagram: Holy moly! I live in the Seattle area and I've always paid about $90/hr for 2 men and a big moving truck (17' I want to say). The company is licensed, bonded and insured. We packed up everything ourselves so when we moved a 2bdrm apartment to our house, it cost around $400.
coconut / 8472 posts
@Anagram: I live in Boston. Well, outside of it now. It cost me $700 to move a 2 bedroom apartment in the city to a 4 floor townhouse an hour away. And I felt like I got ripped off. The friend in question probably could've spent more like $300-$500 on her move. And she can definitely afford it.
pineapple / 12566 posts
I think it depends on the situation. If you are a student/young adult with limited income, ask friends and reward them well with beer and pizza. However, if you can afford to pay for movers, do it. Last year my BIL, who is over 30 and very financially secure, asked my husband, 65-yr-old FIL and a few of his friends to help move. I was annoyed by it. I don't know anyone who likes helping other people move.
pomegranate / 3383 posts
Um ya....he can afford to hire movers.
I don't think asking friends to help you move is a regional thing but more of an age/stage of life thing.
eggplant / 11408 posts
We've helped friends move before. I do wonder if it's regional, because everyone I know asks friends for help for most of the stuff, even if they hire movers to handle the really heavy stuff.
pineapple / 12793 posts
@Sammyfab: I think it's a stage of life thing too. I helped tons of people move in college and grad school but now I feel like we're too old for that sort of thing. Our last move only cost $500 for two guys and the truck for an entire day. Worth it to me.
grapefruit / 4819 posts
Yeah, if this guy is 45 years old, able to purchase a million dollar house, and hasn't even made time yet to meet your daughter, then he would definitely be getting the boot from me! Family time is far too precious to sacrifice it for someone who is clearly not that close to your family. If it was a sibling, that's one thing, an acquaintance, no.
Why does this guy even want to move himself?! Our last few moves have been with professional movers packing, moving, and unpacking for us - there is no way in the world I would ever want to do it again myself at this stage in my life. Your DH definitely needs to tell this guy sorry but no. The back injury alone is a good enough reason to say no, factor that in with encroaching upon valuable family time and there is more than sufficient justification to not help out. If this guy gets angry, so be it. Ugh.
grapefruit / 4817 posts
I don't think I've asked for friends' help in moving since I left college. And I've never been asked by friends to help them move. Everyone hires people around here, at least for furniture. Family sometimes helps with the smaller items. I'd be annoyed if I were you, @oliviaoblivia.
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