It’s been 5 months since an unexpected early loss. DH and I been trying for the last four months - really hitting near perfect timing and are still waiting for that hoped for baby after our loss. As I contemplate trying again this cycle and the emotions that it causes - would love to hear any hopeful stories of conception after loss.
How long did it take you to conceive after an early loss. How did you keep trying if it was more than a few months? What helped you through that time?
Thanks so much for sharing with me!
cantaloupe / 6085 posts
You know I’m still trying for another rainbow but I’ll tell you my other story
With my first two early losses, I got pregnant again fairly quickly and the third one stuck. I expected the same when we tried for #2 and it didn’t work that way. I lost one early, took about 4 months to have another pregnancy which was also an early loss, and then about another 4 months later we got our sticky baby who is now a crazy 2yo boy. So definitely time is a big aspect, though if you suspect something is off I wouldn’t hesitate to seek help too.
I think for me I coped by journaling a lot (I have a private blog I write on), having a good board on hb to talk to, and trying to remove myself from it emotionally. That last one is hard to accomplish I know. It pretty much consumed me when we were trying for my second until I had a big move to distract me. Also, not going crazy on bd so it didn’t feel so overwhelming each cycle.
Hugs however you get to a baby in your arms, whatever the path looks like, the journey will have changed you but it will feel worth it
pomelo / 5129 posts
We weren't trying when I got pregnant the first time. After an early miscarriage, it took us more than a year to get pregnant again. I ended up having really low hormones (both progesterone and estrogen) and subclinical hypothyroidism, undiagnosed celiac, and was dealing with PCOS.
Because we were trying with timed intercourse, my OB was willing to start testing and treating things after 6 months (some want to wait a year).
Knowing there were "next steps" and moving forward with different treatments helped me. It was frustrating still when things didn't work, but in the end, charting and figuring out what the underlying issues were was helpful. Because even if I didn't get pregnant, at least I was getting healthier overall.
(I ended up having two more losses...one for unknown reasons, one from trisomy. I'm now 20 weeks pregnant with what seems like a perfectly healthy little boy)
pear / 1767 posts
I'm sorry for your loss. I experienced two consecutive losses and it was truly awful. My first loss was really difficult because I felt like my hormones were a mess for months afterwards and I was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve right around the time of my first loss. I ended up going to see an acupuncturist and making a bunch of dietary changes in hopes of conceiving naturally but also made a plan to do an IUI (and then IVF) if nothing happened in the interim. I guess starting acupuncture, changing my diet, etc. and meeting with an RE made me feel like I at least had a little control in a situation where I really had no control. After 14 months of trying to conceive (first loss was 6 months in and the second was 11 months in), I ended up pregnant naturally (the month before I was scheduled to do an IUI) with my gorgeous daughter who turns 1 in a couple weeks. My best advice is to try your best to take good care of you and control what you can control. I felt better feeling like I was doing things to improve my egg quality and found this blog to be helpful with supplement suggestions, etc. (http://www.paleo-mama.com/). I also tried really hard to think positively, which made that period in my life much more bearable. The RE I saw basically told me that it was a perseverance game for me and if I kept at it, he knew I would be successful. I think hearing that helped me believe in "when" versus "if." Good luck and hang in there!
nectarine / 2813 posts
I started this thread a while back and it really helped me have hope that I would get my rainbow baby.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
Im so sorry. I dont think I have shared my story in a while.
After our first daughter was born we started thinking about another child when she was about a year old. We pretty much immediately got pregnant but at my first appointment found out it was a BO. We were devastated because we thought we knew we could get pregnant, what happened here. We just didn't expect the loss to hit us. Unfortunately I had to have a D&C procedure and my cycles were very off for a while after that. We tried our best to track and time things but it took over 6 months before we finally got another BFP. We were able to "meet" our baby once on ultrasound and see a fetal pole but at our next appointment we had lost that baby too. I had another D&C and waited a cycle before we started having unprotected sex again. Honestly we were too tired and stressed and emotionally drained to track anything. Surprisingly we got pregnant right away this time. We were very cautious about the pregnancy but beta's and my first scan looked great. We had a really bad scare with some heavy bleeding from a SCH but ultimately we got our rainbow baby born 100% healthy and strong. The weight of those losses still carried with us and we knew we wouldn't be able to go through "trying" for another baby after that. Luckily we had a surprise third pregnancy that was a breeze and our family now feels complete.
clementine / 787 posts
@T.H.O.U.: @mrskansas: @Shantuck: @MaryM: @bhbee: thank you for being so kind to share your experiences.
I hope we have a happy ending to share one day.