My mom was hands off and distant emotionally but also very strict with chores and schooling. There was also some forms of punishment and verbal abuse that would not fly these days.

Right now, I know I'm going to be more emotionally engaged . I'm not a perfectionist but there are things I want to be done a certain way. My mom (and dad) pretty left me to do my own things once I hit high school. (I got my own cell phone at 17 and have paid for it since.) Which made me very independent but because of that I think the need for control is part of my personality. I am afraid that that need for control will be negative for my kids.