I think it's very important and valuable that there's an increasing trend these days for people to share their miscarriage stories. There used to be such a stigma and sense of silence about it, and I feel like most people had no idea that miscarriage is fairly common. The thing is, I almost start to get the impression from all the miscarriage posts that it's practically a sure thing that once we start TTC we'll end up experiencing at least one miscarriage. Do other people believe that's true? For those who have not yet had a miscarriage, do you expect that it's something you will have to face one day? I'm almost at the point where I feel like when we do conceive, I won't be able to feel like it's real because I'll be so scared of the possibility it won't work out. What does everyone think? I don't mean to sound dour, but I'm just genuinely curious.
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I don't think its a "sure thing" that you will definitely experience at least one miscarriage. But it is a real risk that looms over every pregnant women, especially in the 1st trimester. According to american pregnancy association the risk of miscarriage for healthy women (for each pregnancy) is 15-20% but age, diet and other factors can increase the risks.
I worried about it a lot during my 1st trimester and for this reason we didnt tell anyone we were expecting a baby unti the 1st tri was almost over. Then even afterwards I still would hold my breath anxiously when they tried to find the heartbeat. now that I can feel the baby move its more of a relief. -
This is our first and knock on wood no miscarriage. But I would say 80% of the moms I know experienced a m/c especially before having their first.
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With all the recent postings, I too fear about this even though we're currently not pregnant.
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I miscarried. I think it's common, but not everybody does it. My mom didn't have one. I have multiple friends who haven't had them. But after my miscarriage, a lot of people did come out and tell me they miscarried. My grandma did, my friend's mom who was my nurse at my d&c, etc.
I had a missed miscarriage. No bleeding or anything, just a tiny bit of spotting, the doctor said nothing to worry about. But when I went to my 12 month apt. there was no heartbeat and they said he was gone at 6 weeks.
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Since we've started TTC, its something I've been thinking about. DH's mom had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and then they were NTNT for 6 more years before they got pregnant with him. She's always been open about it, so I've known for years, but its been on my mind more lately.
I've often wondered about the % of women who go through miscarriages.
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I haven't had one. This is my first pregnancy.
My mom had a miscarriage--we've always known about our little brother. My stepmom had a loss at 36 weeks with her first pregnancy. I know quite a few women who suffered from losses.
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I miscarried when I was 19yrs old.
I didn't know I was pregnant until I lost it. Emotionally I didn't quite understand what happened to me. Physically the D&C was rough, esp since I had never been through anything like that before in my life. -
I had two miscarriages before this pregnancy (one was very early, the day after my missed period, and a second at around 5.5 weeks). Of all of our friends that have children/are TTC, I'm the only one who miscarried. My mother had one between me and an older brother, and her mother had at least 4 after my mom (her first).
15-20% is a really scary statistic, especially in early pregnancy, and I know it's impossible not to, but stressing about it won't stop it from happening. Try to look at the stat the other way: 80-85% of pregnancies result in healthy babies.
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I had a very early miscarriage. I'm now pregnant again and terrified. I'm currently 7 weeks along and just can not wait until 12 weeks. When I went through it I was surprised at how many people had been through to the same thing. My doc told me that a lot of doctors think the percentages are actually higher but because so many miscarriages happen so early they are often missed (women just think their period was a little light and heavier than usual). But statistics are just statistics and you never know what group you'll fall in. Just know that for the most part there was nothing that could have been done to stop the miscarriage so you just have take the best care of yourself that you can and hope for the best.
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I miscarried my first pregnancy nearly a year ago but am pregnant again and due next month.
Once you've been there you definitely start to hear of more and more experiences with miscarriage. Its scary how common it is but absolutely doesn't mean you're destined to go through one yourself. After mine I was surprised to hear that a few other people I know have been there too, but those who've only had healthy pregnancies are still a very strong majority in my circle.
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I miscarried at 12 weeks. It seems so common but that actually makes me feel worse. I'm now 7 weeks and will be terrified the whole pregnancy.
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I've had miscarriage. I wouldn't say it's a definite thing that everyone will experience. I've known plenty of women to have successful first pregnancies and never have a miscarriage (as far as I know at least). None of the women in my family have had one and I guess that's why I naively thought it wouldn't happen to me.
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My mom had 5 children and lost one, but it was due to a problem my brother had breathing oxygen. I miscarried at 20 weeks. I have a friend that had two boys, no miscarriages. I agree with others that feel that it's not definite that everyone will experience, but there is a certain awareness to it now. I know that I have heard so many stories from people that I've been friends with for years and they never admitted that they had a miscarriage. One friend was even very similar to my story. Another lost their baby at 30 weeks. I guess you just never hear about it until you have someone near you that experiences a miscarriage.
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I don't know anyone who's had one, or at least I didn't until it happened to me last month. It's amazing the stories you hear after it happens to you. I didn't even know that my gramma had a late miscarriage with what would have been her youngest.
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Lost one at 13 weeks... Stopped growing at 9... Definitely don't hear others' stories until u go through ur own. Lots of miscarriages, but definitely not destined for everyone.
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I had an early miscarriage at 6-7 weeks. I went in for a routine checkup and was given the news that I was pregnant. I remember her saying in a very matter of fact way that I was either very early or beginning to miscarry. It lasted two weeks. That was August '10 and we found out in January '11 thst we were pregnant again. I've been pregnant three times and have two kids.
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I haven't so far but I'm still scared and I'm 17 weeks tomorrow.. This is my first pregnancy, not high risk, early 20s and pretty healthy although my diet/exercise could use some improvement. I'm trying to be positive but idk if I will ever feel "safe"
In pregnancy. -
I haven't had one and I don't think it's a "sure thing". I think it is more common than people think and it's important for couples to be able to talk about it if that's what they need.
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Statistically, I think the prevalence is 30%--and this hold true in my family, averaged out--at least for all the women who are TTC or already have children (including those with grown children).
My grandma had a stillborn baby and I've been to her gravestone.
I had one years ago when I accidentally got pregnant,
and one last year when TTC. Now I'm 34 weeks pregnant. -
I haven't had a miscarriage but I'm pretty sure I had a blighted ovum and an ectopic pregnancy. The ectopic was during our first month TTC, and although the tests never showed a BFP, I was late, I had all the symptoms of pregnancy and the pain associated with an ectopic. With the blighted ovum, I was also late and experienced all the symptoms of pregnancy and during a vaginal appointment, I saw an almost empty sac.
LO isn't here yet and I often worry about her health. I pray I'm one of the lucky ones and that she makes it alright.
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I've never had one (that I know of- I suppose it could have happened early enough that I thought I just had a late period). But I still worry about it all the time. I'm 31 weeks and am STILL worried about it and probably will until I have my baby healthy and in my arms. The funny part is that I didn't worry about miscarriage or stillbirth AT ALL with my first pregnancy, but have been worried about it this entire pregnancy. It just has felt like it has been in the news more or something. I made it through the first trimester and took a sigh of relief, and then the Duggar and Santorum second trimester pregnancy losses were big in the news so I kept worrying. Now I'm in the third trimester and still kind of freaking out a bit if I haven't felt a good movement for awhile. I guess I'm just paranoid this time for some reason.
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I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy almost a year ago at about 5.5 weeks pregnant. Now, I'm 33 weeks along and my baby is due next month.
Before my miscarriage, I actually knew several friends as well as my MIL had miscarried. Since then, a few more friends have miscarried. It was helpful for me to reach out to them and talk to them about my experience. Even though I miscarried early, I was very, very sad about it. With this pregnancy, I was convinced I was going to miscarry until after my anatomy scan @ 19 weeks. I still worry about the health of the baby since I'm at risk for pre-term delivery. I don't think the worry ever goes away.
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I've had one miscarriage at five weeks. My mother had one between me and my sister, but she won't really talk about how far along it was and I was too young to remember. My mother-in-law lost her third baby (she has three living daughters now) at 13 or so weeks. My BIL's girlfriend has lost one at 21 weeks and the other at 9. My husband's Aunt is pretty much the bravest miscarriage survivor I know of though, having gone through 12 mostly later miscarriages before and between her two children.
My doctor is of the mind that it's actually more like 40% of women that miscarry (at least in our area), but I know plenty of women who have gone on to have no problems whatsoever. I don't know if its a correlation or not, but the women I know who haven't experienced loss or complications tend to be the ones whose pregnancies were not at all planned.
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This is my first pregnancy, I've just passed the 8 week mark.
I had an U/S done at 6w2d and saw the heartbeat. I go in for my next U/S at 10w2d and I'm terrified at the thought of a missed miscarriage.
I've just heard about so many women and have close friends who've gone through miscarriages (one had 3 in the last year); that I am so fearful of the possibility.
I try to keep it out of my mind and not stress about it; but it is an fear that has yet to subside.
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Thanks for sharing, everyone. It looks like the poll is almost 50/50 right now. At the very least, it seems that miscarriage is a reality for a lot of prospective parents; and something we should all be aware of.
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Although I haven't had one, my sister and mother both had two. I have several friends who have had them recently as well. I think it's much more common than most people think. It definitely helped keep things in perspective for me during this pregnancy and I try not to take it for granted how lucky I've been.
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@JessicaMcB: I think whether you're trying or not has an impact- not that is causes miscarriages if you're trying, but that you're more likely to know you're pregnant earlier if you're trying. I mean, most TTC women I know are testing at 10 dpo, so they're going to know if they're pregnant much sooner than someone not trying would. So, if they miscarry very early, they actually know it.
When I've missed my period while not TTC, I didn't bother to test until a couple weeks after I was due, and usually at that point, my period just came late. (The exception to that being a positive pregnancy test and my firstborn.) But what I thought was a late period might have been an early miscarriage that I didn't catch because I didn't bother to test right away, so I didn't even know I was pregnant.
I think that's why miscarriage rates very so widely by source- it's often self-reported, and early miscarriages can be mistaken for late periods so easily.
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Thought I'd bump this, since the community is growing. I've had 2-- a missed m/c at 8 (detected at 11) weeks and, more recently, a blighted ovum following IVF. So hard. I personally know at least 8 women who've suffered at least 1 loss.
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I had an early m/c right before getting pregnant with S...which was a loss.
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I haven't had a miscarriage. I don't plan to get pregnant again, so I'm not anticipating that I will ever have one, but of course there is always a change of getting pregnant.
I don think it's a sure thing it will happen.but I do think the percentage of pregnancies ending in miscarriage is higher than most believe.
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My first pregnancy I found out I was having twins, and the next day I miscarried. I don't think everyone should be expecting a m/c, but it's certainly not something you should assume won't happen to you. I was 18.
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I've had two miscarriages occur within 6 months of each other - one a blighted ovum that ended with a d&c after waiting 3 weeks to miscarry naturally and one chemical. Both of them occurred after getting pregnancy on first try and successfully delivering my eldest. After the chemical we conceived our second child two months later. Prior to having a miscarriage I had heard about a few friends that had them and also read about ladies on HB that went through the horrible ordeal but always had a sense of denial that it won't happen to me. Then it did. Twice. And it tore my heart out. I felt so alone the first time and was ashamed to talk about it then I felt angry that I was ashamed. So I began talking to friends about it. To make it less of a taboo topic. And you know what? I felt better after talking about it and hopefully my friends will also realize it shouldn't be a taboo topic.
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I had a vanishing twin with R's pregnancy at 9.5 weeks. I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks in March. I'm not sure what's going to happen with this current pregnancy.
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I have not had a miscarriage but I have had a vanishing twin very early.
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Wow, what a surprise to see this unearthed. I'm in such a different position in this journey than I was when I posted this thread. I can respond to my own poll now - one miscarriage (so far).
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@littleveesmommy: I could have written this exact post.
I've had one blighted ovum diagnosed at 7w and one miscarriage diagnosed at almost 10 weeks but baby stopped growing at 8w. -
Can I just say that I thought this was a new post & was like, I had no idea so many people were pregnant again!
Anyway, I have not had a miscarriage. We were very fortunate to have a healthy pregnancy while NTNP. I would say at least half the women I know have had one though.
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Yes, an early one at 6 weeks.
I only know one other person who has had one, but hers was much later.
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@PawPrints: I'm sad that's your answer
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