Hellobee Boards

First off, HUGS!!!! Dealing with IF is one of the hardest things I ever went through. I had terrible numbers and we did months of fertility treatments and they didn't work. I couldn't give up though... I cried a lot and did a LOT of soul searching and praying. My final cycle was so so so draining that I finally broke and realized it was significantly impacting my life and my well being. We had a DD who was 3 and she was amazing and we were so blessed and happy.

It honestly finally took one of my friends to ask me "are you happy?" "isn't your current life pretty great?" for me to realize that yes I was happy and yes my life was pretty darn great. So I basically had a change of heart and I started focusing on what I did have instead of what I didn't have(but wanted terribly)

I can totally see how some could use therapy though.. I didn't end up going that route.. but I might have.

@Stardust17: I think you know a little of my case and I would be more than happy to email you extensively- but I want to say right now, please do not lose hope. I will share my story because I "defied all odds"- 3 TIMES. I do not hold weight to the AMH/ FSH bullshit. I believe most women, if tested, would show these "catastrophic" hormone levels. Have you read the new research that REs are finally reconsidering them as valid indicators of fertility? A lot of stuff came out this winter.
Me...
AMH from 0.3 - 0.1 (you read that right)
FSH: 20s-30s
AFC: 3-5 a cycle
However, my uterus looks ok and I am 34 which helped.
I have gotten pregnant 3 times with those "terrible" lab levels- without so much as an mg of Clomid. I know you know what Google says about those numbers! And there are so many storied like mine. The science/ labs are NOT the whole story! There is so much new info coming out. My RE was not optimistic. I got pregnant 4 weeks later. Of course, it is early and they tell me I could very likely miscarry but I am choosing to believe it will be ok.

I hope this helped. Please do not think science and labs and what uninformed MDs tell you is set in stone. Thinking of you. Please wall me if you want to talk more

It’s tough to have your options taken from you, I feel you entirely. I have a lower AMH and higher fsh, and am trying clomid with ti at least a few times. We won’t do ivf, probably not iui, but I’m not entirely ruling that out. I did have more follicles at my initial ultrasounds than you, but I had a lot more this month than last month, so I think it just varies month to month.

Also, if you were near me in person I would give you a hug. It is truly agonizing trying to have a baby and feeling like it will never happen.

@Stardust17: my AMH was .29 last year when I went in for testing... we ended up doing IUI with injectable meds that month and my daughter is now 3 months old! We got pregnant the same way with DD1 as well. First try both times!

ETA- I was 38 when I got pregnant with DD2.

Also, when I got pregnant with my daughter, I was only a few months post partim from having my first son, so I’m sure I had terrible numbers then too.

My husband and I weren't interested in IVF or IUI. I strongly felt that if we were meant to have children, there had to be a way to fix the underlying reasons why I was having miscarriages (I had one early loss, a stillborn girl at 22 weeks with no cause found, and a 13 week loss due to trisomy).

I ended up working with a NaProtechnology provider to assess my hormone profile. I'm not sure I ever even had AMH or FSH tested. They were confident I could GET pregnant...it was just a matter of figuring out what would help keep me pregnant.

I went through a full cycle of testing (blood work nearly every other day) so they could assess how progesterone and estrogen rose and fell in relation to where I was in my cycle. Both ended up being low.

I was diagnosed with PCOS and took metformin. Because of the PCOS and low estrogen pre-ovulation, I took femara to help induce ovulation. Post ovulation, I took HCG shots to help raise my hormones. My estrogen didn't raise enough, so I took estradiol orally too. When I did that for several cycles and my levels looked good but I still wasn't pregnant, we added in low dose naltrexone (https://www.ldnscience.org/resources/interviews/interview-phil-boyle).

There is some more on the overall approach at http://fertilitycare.org/what-is-naprotechnology.

Now that we've had our son, I'm not sure what (if anything) we'll be reinvesting in. I'm nearly 38 and DH is 45. I'm not sure we can handle another baby! But I'm also not sure if we'll ever have a handle on my cycle if I don't go back to the doctor at some point

Maybe I'll miss it more once DS gets older (he's three months old now), but at the moment, I'm happy with one. I'm sure there will be moments of longing in the future, and I'll never stop wishing I could have raised my daughters, but for now I can just savor my son.