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I guess I was lucky in that I didn't have a LO yet and could just sit there and grieve for as long as I needed. I also had an issue with sticky placenta...... it didn't want to leave me. I had a missed miscarriage so I had the option of pills or D&C, I chose pills. I took them two times and still it didn't work, so I had a D&C. After that there was still issues, I was hemorrhaging blood and had many moments when I couldn't get off the toilet because I'd bleed through a pad in a minute or two, so I just had to sit there for an hour until it passed. My body was still trying to get rid of baby. So I had to have another D&C, this time she used an ultrasound during it to make sure it was all out. So yeah.... all of that took about a month, and I think dealing with all of the physical pain and uncomfortableness helped me deal with the emotional pain. By the time the last D&C was over and done with, I was ready to move on. I was still sad.... I'm still sad even after having a healthy LO and having another one in my belly now. They don't replace my loss, but they do make life happier.

It helped me to have some closure. Since there's no funeral or anything, I wanted to do something on my own. Jews use rocks on gravestones instead of flowers, so I found a nice rock and wrote a message on it for my LO. It sits in my front yard so I can see it when sitting in my rocking chair out there. We recently added a rock for my pup

It's normal to be sad, it's normal to grieve. Hope you start feeling more like yourself soon!

I had a really hard time coping. Seriously, this stuff is awful. It hurts in ways that are hard to describe, and it is made harder by the fact that everyone grieves differently. A few things did help me, though I am learning now that I still have some things to work out.

1. I spent hours reading on this site: http://pregnancyloss.info/category/miscarriage/ Information helped me to feel less like a freak.

2. My hospital actually had a perinatal bereavement coordinator who was so helpful to me. We talked via phone and email, and it helped.

3. Similarly, she ran support groups for those who had experienced loss. I would highly recommend seeing if there is one in your area. They were great for me.

4. The hospital also ran memorial services and had a stone at a local cemetery. We went to the service, which was great, but I found it suoert helpful to have a place to go to "be" with my babies. I spent hours sitting there this spring. Even if you don't have this specifically, finding a place where you feel connected may help.

5. For us, we felt like we had lost a baby, so it was important to recognize that. We named the babies, and the hospital gave us two butterfly pins, which now hang above our bed. Everyone memorializes differently. Do what feels right to you.

6. Talking to people really helped me. I relied heavily on a few close friends, but also some wonderful ladies on here who shared similar experiences.

7. This may not apply to you, but for me it did, so I will mention it: o have a history of depression, and losing the babies back to back, together with the accompanying hormonal changes, made it flare BADLY. I shut down, and it was very difficult on DH. As a result, my OB was an invaluable resource during this time. He was instrumental in getting me the additional help I needed, both medicine and counseling, to get through those first few months. Even without a history, though, you may find that counseling might help.

Finally, be gentle with yourself. This is really hard. I didnt want to hear that healing takes time; I wanted things to be better right away. But that's not how this goes, unfortunately. The first few days and weeks are the worst, but I hope that your pain will start to ease sion. Hang in there, and don't be afraid to reach out. Message me any time. Big hugs. You will get through this

http://www.missfoundation.org/ This site was wonderful for me to talk through my feelings with other loss parents.

I didn't cope very well. I was in an awful funk for weeks. It took literally moving out of our apartment to get me to feeling better, because I hated being in there. I had people around me all the time, because if I was left alone I'd turn into a mess.

I also wrote about it...put my feelings out. Not just on here. I just opened up Word and typed and threw everything that was on my mind in there.

It's so hard to cope. Hugs for you...and if you need more links, just let me know!