DH is out of town for a few days so I am doing the whole thing solo. I work, so the challenge of daycare drops and pick ups, food, work, house stuff, it's a lot.
Even after just this short time, I have to admit I have so much more respect for Single Moms. I couldn't imagine doing this all of the time! We've got 5 days straight this week and again next week.
nectarine / 2220 posts
My husband works four 12 hour afternoon shifts each week, so I'm alone with LO for essentially five days by the time he wakes up on his first day off... and I'm more than ready for DH to come home and relieve me a little bit, and I don't even work. I have no clue how single parents manage.
cherry / 186 posts
No idea how they manage , obviously strong women :). My husband travels occasionally but my in-laws almost always come over and bring me dinner and walk the dog 
pineapple / 12802 posts
In the winter my husband works 15+ hour shifts and sleeps when he's at home. I barely manage. I can't imagine what it'd be like without him at all!
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
Most of the single moms I know have a lot of help from family. Those who don't are just tough! I guess when there isn't really an alternative...
pomelo / 5073 posts
DH works out of town, so most of the time it's just me and LO. You do what needs to be done because that is the only choice you have. It's hard, but it's worth it.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
I think about this a lot. I have so much help because we live with my mom, stepdad and younger brother. Even though DH works a lot, more often than not there is someone around to let the dog back in if needed, for example, or hold the baby really quick while I run to the bathroom. But even still, I get overwhelmed, so I just can't imagine how anyone does it on their own.
blogger / persimmon / 1231 posts
Seriously! When my husband was deployed for 5 months after LD was born I couldn't believe how hard it was. I have SO much respect for single moms!!!
grapefruit / 4441 posts
I have so much respect for single parents too.
I feel as though I've functioned much like a single mom for large portions of LO's life. It is challenging, that's for sure! I do what I have to do because there's no other option, and I imagine it's the same with *real* single moms. It's not impossible though, and for me, there's a lot of joy in caring for my LO. It's rewarding being a parent, and even more so perhaps when you're doing all or most of the work by yourself. A huge difference in my case is that I have the financial benefit of two incomes - so it is not at all like being a single mom in that regard. I have so much respect for single working parents who somehow make ends meet with daycare costs, etc.
The hardest thing for me is not having family locally. My parents live on the opposite coast. If I am sick, or LO is too sick for daycare, we are SOL. I do have babysitters that I rely I when I have to work late, and friends that can sometimes help in a pinch, but there are times when I have to miss work or social events unexpectedly because I'm the sole caregiver right now. Not the end of the world, but stressful.
@MaisyMay: one week down, one to go! You're halfway there! Do you ever feel like you've already run a marathon by the time you get to work?! That's how I feel! It never ceases to amaze me how much effort it takes to get myself, the baby, the dog and the house ready for the day. It's a freaking production just to get out the door and then I have an hour commute!
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6703 posts
@78h2o: He will be back Monday just to leave again on Thursday. It's totally a marathon by the time I am off of work.
bananas / 9973 posts
I'm on Day 4 of solo parenting and TBH, our house is a mess. I am so tired, I went to sleep early. I skipped showering every other day. lol. Mad respect for single moms.
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6703 posts
@shopaholic: The first night he was gone, I was in bed at 8 p.m. No shame.
grapefruit / 4235 posts
I'm solo-ing right now and it's ok for a little bit (DH is gone wed night - Tuesday night) but holy cow is it unrelenting.
bananas / 9973 posts
@dagret: Ah! That's when my DH is gone for too!
@MaisyMay: That would imply your LO is in bed before then. haha
pear / 1861 posts
I'm a single mom, but I just do it because there is no other choice. She does daycare where I do Pre-k, so that helps a lot. She goes to the gym daycare while I work out, so that helps. Not saying it's easy, but it's manageable depending on you. Sometimes it is tiring, but I go for a run (with her,lol) and I feel a lot better.
pear / 1823 posts
I don't know how single parents do it, either. When DH was away for 2 weeks, I only lasted a week before I packed up and went to visit family for a few days with LO. I just wanted to hand him to someone else for a few minutes! It was worth the 4 hour drive, let me tell you!
pomelo / 5621 posts
I was just wondering this today as DH is away for the weekend.
I've done a few 2-4 day stretches on my own and I just go to bed early and not worry about keeping a clean house.
This summer DH worked out of town for 3 months straight, so we went and stayed with my mom for most of that time, there is no way I wanted to do that long on my own so far from family.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
I solo parent during the week and I am thankful I work cause home solo for 4 days might break me. It is hard still but now R and I have found a groove.
papaya / 10560 posts
I don't single parent, but I have solo parented since DH was born 16 months ago and we totally just had to find our groove. DH lives and works an hour and a half away M-F and comes home on weekends...except for every 3rd weekend when he is on call and it is sooooo long! The hardest part is probably being a WOHM also, which means I handle all drop offs/pick ups, meals, lunches packed, etc.
There are definitely days when it is sooooo exhausting. DS is an easy baby though and goes down by 630 every night so I usually have time to wrap things up before I head to bed. Super nervous about having 2 kids though and solo parenting!
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6703 posts
@shopaholic: I picked her up at daycare around 6. We got home and had dinner, and she was in bed after her bath by 7:15. I chatted with DH and my mom and was in bed by 8. It was glorious. Mind you, she woke at 5 the next day, but I'd had plenty of sleep by then.
nectarine / 2964 posts
I have no idea how single parents does it. And I literally have a friend who recently divorced and has a 2 year old (same age as mine).
My husband travels A LOT but I have mostly no problem with it, as I am always the sole caregiver to my son even if he's here. His traveling varies from a few days to 2.5 weeks at one stretch. Yes I do need to do the daycare drop offs and that sucks but otherwise his appearance is optional. But I have to say he does everything else: paying bills, cooking meals (which feeds both of us while I cook for LO), washing dishes, laundry, running errands, sorting mails, to keeping track of finances, dealing with insurance and everything in the house...etc. I really appreciate him for doing all those and I wonder if I could ever do it alone for a long period of time - as in being a single parent who needs to work, take care of the child, and take care of everything that happens in life (house, taxes, bills...etc).
watermelon / 14206 posts
I was a single mom starting from when DS was 1 til he was almost 4. It was quite a juggle but I managed really well and I'm actually pretty proud of it. DS is a super good kid.
Even when I remarried it felt like single parenthood for a bit longer since DS is mine and not DH's. But DH caught on really well and once we all adjusted it was nice.
coconut / 8279 posts
I solo parent most nights/ weekends October through April and work full time but I can look forward to summer!
My best friend was a single mom of two under two that worked full time. She's my hero!
eggplant / 11408 posts
@Dandelion: that's super impressive, and definitely something to be proud of!
I'm interested in this thread because DH is likely taking a job this summer that will require quite a bit of traveling. I'm a little nervous about being with baby by myself, but it's going to be such a good opportunity for him. Seeing all of you doing it gives me hope that going it alone for a few days a week is doable!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
I think about this a lot! Until DH was 9, my MIL was an entirely single parent (bio dad didn't want to be involved at all). I think she's amazing for being able to not only survive but raise such a great son. I'm still scared to stay overnight with our boys with out DH!
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
I don't know how they do it! I know that most of the single parents I know get a lot of help from grandparents/family, but there are so many that just don't have that. Guess when you have no choice you do what you have to.
This is why I have been at home with LO. If I went to work I would be much like a single mom due to dh's work, whereas with me not working we have the flexibility for a lot of "extra" family time.
I wish there was a single mama presence on HB, it'd be an interesting (amazing!) perspective to hear from.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I feel like you rise to the occasion of your situation. Very few of us begin our marriages thinking of divorce or single parenthood, but statistics are against us.
Sadly, I also know of two people that lost their spouses before age 35. That's why I try not to get so caught up in the future.
pea / 12 posts
Hearts to all of you for respecting singles. I'm a single mom (by choice) and with stress levels, I think it depends on the baby or having multiple kids. I live with my mom (she was a single mom with my sister and I), so I don't have to work now and sometimes she'll take over, but about 99.999% of the time, it's just me. It's difficult when my 4 month old daughter isn't feeling well, but she's really nice to me most of the time and naps and such. It's also a bit harder because I FF, so making bottles when she's fussy is pretty stressful, but I love it. I love single parenting
I'm so lucky to be able to stay home with her as a single mom though! I can only imagine having to find a place for an infant while you work 
It hurts my heart. Also lucky to have such an amazing mom to help me along the way. I'm actually glad she leaves me to doing everything myself, which is weird I guess? It's taught me that I can handle anything that comes my way.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
The single moms I know are blessed with family and friends that pitch in. They usually use the word "sacrifice" to describe how they manage the constant juggle. A sea of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends cannot fully substitute a parent in a child's eye. Single parents are always *that* parent. I don't know any single dads IRL, but they are out there too.
@clumsyatheart: you're a single stay at home mom?! Very lucky lady.
@Dandelion: this thread is so old, but new to me...anyway my husband had a similar childhood like you described with your son. His mom was single long enough before her second husband that even with having a step father he was raised for all intents and purposes by a "single" mom.
watermelon / 14206 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: it's better now, with M here. DH helps out a whole lot. Since D is 7, he doesn't need as much as M does, but DH definitely is more helpful with him
pea / 12 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Definitely a very lucky mom. My mom's a professor and insisted I not work while pregnant and during the first year of my baby's life. I feel very very lucky.
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