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I just let him know i was ovulating and we needed to have sex that night.

I charted in a really low tech way, in a day planner that i kept at my bedside. I'd share it with my husband on a regular basis, and he could look at it any time because it was right there, out in the open. On the flip side, we used it to avoid, so we had to know when we couldn't have sex.

If I had to do it now, in an environment where we might be on different schedules, I'd consider a google document or something similar.

@MaryM: we struggled with this too and I felt like i was stuck: not enough info and timing suffered, too much info and paralysis! I talked with DH at some point near the start of the cycle and talked about what he wanted. We were able to talk about "windows", ie today starts the window of opportunity, can we squeeze in one more BD before the window closes? And that worked better for us. Good luck!

For me, I gave him a week window. He sometimes can't provide a sample for our IUIs because of the pressure, so we had to freeze his sperm a week or two before our scheduled IUI. Low pressure and stress is how it goes in my house. After TTC for 27 months now, the stress of providing a sample on cue is and can be hard on him. I completely understand and I can't get too upset if things don't work out. I don't really get disappointed. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, they'll be next month. Luckily, we haven't canceled any IUIs because there was always at least one sample frozen.

@MaryM: I have to agree about not having my husband log my temps, it was just easier for me to do it myself.

I wasn't implying that you'd secretly install the app, not at all! I think with that, if he agrees, that is a step in the right direction. My husband would probably allow me to install whatever I liked, but do I trust that he'd look at it? No. He has to be interested and WANT to do something, otherwise, he just doesn't.

@MaryM: We don't pass gas, use bathroom in front of each other, so I know what you mean! We wanted it to be magical, and just happen without actually ttc. But, sometimes it doesn't work out like that. And going to the RE really made me feel like somehow we were doing it wrong, but sometimes you just need a little help! In the end, the time that did it was the most scheduled un-romantic sex ever! We were told to have sex 48hrs after my HSG before she would start treatment. I was still sore from the test. But, it was worth it in the end, and we laugh about it now. I really hope it happens soon for you. ((Hugs))

We are in cycle 15 and while I think he usually has a general idea of the "time" I still let him know. He will sometimes ask if it's close. He's in med school and his schedule can be tough to work with but he's also the kind of guy that never doesn't want to have sex...I usually say/text something like "today is the day" or "this is the week" or "you're getting lucky tonight!" I've even left a flirty note on his nightstand by his phone if he is still sleeping when I leave. Before TTC, anything close to talking "dirty" was so not something we would normally say to each other. Now, I think we've came out of our shells a little bit and make those kinds of comments to joke around or lighten things up to try to keep the stress/pressure low for both of us. At the beginning, I tried to keep it all on my plate--because of his stressful schedule I didn't want to cause him anymore stress. As it's gone on, I've talked with him more about it (usually when AF comes) and he's expressed that he wants to be kept in the loop about it and not let me carry all the emotional weight. Just asked that I be mindful of the timing of when I decide to lighten my burden...like not the night before a big exam or whatever. I will say that I'm still the one to initiate things (sex, talks, etc.) most of the time.

Praying for you. Hope y'all find out what works best for both of you and that you get your baby soon.