My husband has been working insane hours lately and it's really taking it's toll. He worked all last weekend and has been home late several nights (like 8:30/9) and he leaves the house by 5:30 or 6 a.m. I don't know how single parents do it. It is SO tough to be the only one responsible for my son! Oh, and I work 4 days a week and schelp my son to daycare 3 days a week.
How do you cope? I don't have any suggestions. I just look forward to the next day/night that my husband has off.
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
My husband works a lot so I do all the daycare drop and pick ups as well as the bedtime routine. At first it was rough but once we got into a routine it got easier. We have the same routine regardless if its both DH and I or just me. Funny enough tables are turned and DH is a single dad this week while I'm away on a business trip. My only advice is stick to a routine.
pear / 1728 posts
My husband travels, so I feel ya. It was HARD at first. As Liv gets older, it gets easier. You get into a routine and make it work. When your husband is around, MAKE SURE you take some time to yourself. You need it. And sometimes you need a break when youre alone. If you put little man down for a nap or bed and stuff needs to be done (laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc) skip it for a night. It can be done the next day. Make sure you take the time to decompress. Parenting alone is tough work.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@LivsMama: thanks! yeah, it's been tough lately and i haven't done squat for myself. i did just pick up a latte and chocolate croissant on my way into work to make myself feel better : )
@littlek: how are YOU enjoying all of your alone time this week?? i just hate how i can't count on him to do a daycare dropoff/pickup....i don't mind being in charge of bedtime, but it's a lot of pressure to always think that i'm the default parent.
pomegranate / 3275 posts
I'm soooo bad at being a single parent! I just find myself sooo exhausted all the time when he's busy or gone. The worst is when he's out of town and I have to do all day AND all night by myself. Luckily DH often gets home at 5 and very rarely has to go on business trips, for now!
It makes me respect single parents soo much more. I think that might be the HARDEST job in the world!
pear / 1837 posts
@winniebee: Do you have friends that could help out?
DH and I have helped friends with drop off and/or pick up before (for example if one parent is out of town and the other has a bad commute), and if DH is out of town for a weekend I'll often ask if a friend can watch LO for a couple hours on Saturday or Sunday so that I can run errands and let my sanity recharge a little.
We trade kid-watching favors with other friends with kids, and also try to do nice things for our kidless friends who kindly watch LO for us like thank them profusely and buy them dinner. Everyone always seems pretty happy to help, and we are happy to help them when they need it.
coconut / 8498 posts
It's so hard! DH has been traveling a lot lately, and I have so much respect for single parents now. I try to make an extra effort to schedule playdates or get out of the house. I just need to talk to adults 
I eat out a little more. And I also use that time to do the things that I wouldn't normally do when DH is here.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Ugh, I feel for you...DH is working a 7 day stretch of overnight shifts next week and I think I will go crazy! I usually eat more take out and try to get my MIL to visit so I can take a nap or a breather.
pomelo / 5178 posts
I am so looking forward to DH's new job because those single parenting times will be greatly reduced from where we're at right now! In the past, DH has done night shifts, 80+ hour work weeks, etc... which means I end up doing everything house/kids wise (plus work my own job for the first 2 years of DD's life). It was really hard.
My best advice is to create a routine for you and the baby and stick to it as much as possible. Build in some break time for yourself every night and actualy relax during that time! And make it a priority to have your LO actually see or hear your SO's voice every day. These types of schedules can be difficult on the other person, too, so I think it's important to keep up your DH and LO's relationship.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@Lozza: All of my friends have their own kids and since we live in Boston it's a PITA to get anywhere by car. Same w/ my sister - 3 kids! My youngest brother could help, but in the evening he works til 6 and my son goes to bed at 7 anyways.
@Honeybee: That's good advice. We need to do facetime when DH is working like that...it just gets hard because he is in surgery most of the time when he's late/working weekends so everything is so unpredictable. I'm happy things will be changing for you soon.
pomelo / 5178 posts
@winniebee: Maybe Mr. Jacks will reply with how he copes with Mrs. Jacks' schedule? He's kind of in the same boat as you, now that he's working outside the home again.
pomelo / 5791 posts
Subscribing cause I'd LOVE to know.
I work outside of the home full time, and DH works full time, plus goes to school at night, so when LO arrives in Feb, it's going to be TOUGH until DH finishes school! I've been wondering how others do it!
apricot / 427 posts
I'm sorry you're having a tough time :(. I've been "single parenting" 6-7 days a week since Emma was born because of DH's job. I haven't ever done anything else (in her 7 weeks of life DH has never gotten up with her at night, he's washed her once, etc.) so I don't know any other way, but I find that setting small goals throughout the day helps me feel more balanced.
I hope your DH is off to help you again soon!
papaya / 10560 posts
DH works and lives out of town. I work full time and take DS to daycare 5 days a week. No family around. Needless to say, it can definitely be extremely trying! DS is almost 14 weeks old. Like pp, I thrive on tight schedule and routine. I get our house cleaned every other week so that helps a TON. I have plenty of bottles to where I only run dishwasher every other day. I drink a lot of coffee too! (I used to not touch caffeine!) it can be very trying but I am so blessed to have a VERY good baby and I think sticking to schedule routine has helped. Granted there are many days where I am driving thru somewhere just to be able to eat dinner, but I am blesses my husband has a job where he can really provide abundantly for us even if he can only be home 1-2 nights a week.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
Glass of wine 
Maybe treat yourself as soon as your LO goes down?
coconut / 8498 posts
@BabyBoecksMom: THIS! My wine and trashy reality TV consumption greatly increases when DH is out of town
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
@winniebee: It was soo rough being away. I'm glad to be home! DH is exhausted and I'm glad to take over.
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