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@Cole: We also made numerous financial sacrifices when our daughter was born. My husband works hard, we live in a beautiful place, and our needs are met. But we also go without multiple luxuries many of our friends enjoy, without a second thought.

I've come to realize how much cash we wasted when we were childless and utilizing two incomes. When I really take inventory of the shopping trips of yesteryear, I actually feel a little embarrassed. I take pride in how creative we've gotten on a more limited budget, and try to focus on the awesome memories we've made, on a dime. My kid's two years have been rad; truly. Some of my wonderful mom friends might have more flashy, material items and I may get a bit jealous, at times. But I'm also the mom in the group everyone comes to when they are inquiring about local hidden gems, cheap kid-friendly activities and reasonable vacation options. Sounds corny, but I kinda like that about my "new self".

I'm probably getting back to work by the year's end, and in a way, I feel better equipped to take the extra income on with more grace and modesty. Keep a gratitude journal, on paper, in your head, whatever. Take note of the true happiness in your life. Money is so not the end all, be all. Not everyone with wealth enjoys personal fulfillment.

I think this is a fairly normal part of the human condition. I read an article (or maybe a book? can't remember) about this recently, where a man interviewed several levels of rich people (rich as in, he only interviewed different levels of people in the 1%).

The first guy said he was content, but he was sad he would never be able to afford this $200,000 car he had always wanted because he had to put 3 kids through college and save for his retirement.

Another guy who was even richer said he was content, but he was jealous of some of his friends' private jets because he would never be able to afford one. And each story was similar.

He found that at whatever income level, the person was dissatisfied because they couldn't afford *something* that someone else had.

For me personally, a good remedy is to try to spend way less than what I have--so that then it's a choice I'm making rather than my financial situation dictating my choices. I mean, obviously, there are a lot of things that I just flat out cannot afford--but I *could* afford a very fancy purse if I wanted one, and I choose not to have one (I wouldn't take care of it anyway). I guess making it my own decision helps keep in check my desire to want ALL THE THINGS, you know?

Am an envious of people's homes, vacations and extra money to just buy everything.

I just remember that if I try to keep up with the Jonses I will always be poor or unhappy. I try to see what I ave and and be grateful for it.

We have a small apartment but its a roof over our head and we own it. We have jobs, even if we're not making the same amount as all my friends. I am VERY happy at my job, we have a wonderful daughter that we can clothe feed and she is very happy.

So i try to remind myself that every time I get a little jealous.

I also want to teach my DD about being frugal so she can save for life experiences.

We have really, really strong feelings about this. We live in a city that is ALL about image. I work for a bankruptcy firm so my vision is pretty clouded. You'd be surprised at the type of people who have to come in to my office and file. Basically, anyone with nice "stuff" doesn't impress me because it might have all been purchased with credit and they are drowning in debt.

I sometimes get little twinges of desire when I see someone dressed nicely or whatnot, but overall "keeping up with the Jones's" is not something that is on our radar. We are doing the opposite and hope to always look like we actually make far less than our bank accounts and investments show. I want to be the millionaire next door!

We are about to make the final payment to pay off our consumer credit cards and it feels sooooo good. Its a goal we've been trying to reach for almost 3 years. Everytime i look at shopping emails or see things I want on a friend or passerby, and i don't have the liquid funds to purchase it, i think about how much it would suck to have to pay off credit cards again.

I sometimes feel like this and I cope by playing the role of someone who is waaaay too cool to like fancy handbags! Its a fake it til you make it kind of situation.... I channel my inner cool chick and repeat over and over to myself - "yeah, we could have afforded all this stuff but I just didn't want it, y'know? I prefer a simple life, no clutter" and then I drop comments about how I've felt much happier since I took the time out of the rat race to just enjoy my children. I guarantee she will be more jealous of you!

it can be hard, but i try to remember that everything is relative and that to some, i may seem like one of the "haves" instead of the "have-nots". several of my friends have experienced terrible losses the past few years that also changed me fundamentally in how grateful i feel for having my family.

but i think it's natural to have those feelings from time to time.

@Anagram: I'm very much this way about material things.

I know that I could afford nicer clothes/cars/house/etc. But I also know that those simply aren't my priority and so I choose not to spend more on those things than I need to.

I remind myself of the things that I do choose to splurge on - mostly vacations! I'd totally rather drive my Corolla and go on international vacations every year than drive a Lexus and never vacation!

This gets a little trickier when I think that one of our "splurges" is heavily investing in retirement and savings. But now that I'm pregnant it's really nice to never worry about medical costs because I know we've got plenty of money saved up in our HSA.

OP: I would think of your big "splurge" as bonding time with your daughter! Is that worth not having the shiny whatever that the Jones's have? I'm better so!

Life is all about priorities.

I will also say that I think it helps that we live in a neighborhood where our household incoming is about 9 times the average household income. It really helps to keep our concerns in check when we see how our neighbors can sometimes struggle with money. But they figure out how to make it work. And, if they can, we sure as hell can.

@knittylady: I LOVE this!

@deerylou: Beautifully stated.

@Cole: DH and I remind ourselves that while it might be nice to have many new, shiny things, it must be not so nice to have the accompanying debt many also have.

I also have begun to take pride in the fact that our happiness comes from experiences and time spent, not things or money. Can you plan a picnic or another simply pleasure to enjoy with your family?

@Mamasig: This is so true! You never know what the person might be struggling with.

I heard a quote once that said comparison is the thief of happiness. I try to remember that there will always be people who have more than me and people who have less than me. I just need to be content with my life.

@Cole: I came from a poor family but my parents weasled my brother and I into an excellent school district in a posh area growing up and that propelled us to good colleges surrounded by uber wealthy folks. Then we went into careers where people came from wealthy families and had lots of connections. All of this is to say: the gimmies are the worst. Truly. Here's a collection of things my parents taught me and things I took upon myself to get over it.

1. Give and be generous. Nothing will make you feel richer or more empowered by the wealth you DO have than helping those in need. Make it constant and habitual and intentional. DH and I sit and talk about out giving quite regularly to stay intentional about it.

2. Be thankful. Create an habit of giving thanks at some point every day. I used to wake up in the morning and force myself to spend at least 10 minutes first thing giving thanks, no matter what I felt like. I'd literally do things like "Thank you God for this annoying alarm waking me up, and these warm blankets that are making it so hard to get out of bed. Thank you for the hot water coming out of my shower. Thank you for my car that is driving me to work. Thank you for this sweet, sweet coffee. Thank you for this traffic that is going so slow that I can pay attention to the clouds and sunshine....", etc. By forcing a habit of thanksgiving, I would get to the office in a great mood and be in the right state of mind, ready to work. Over time it became a habit and I do it almost instantly now. As a mom, I will say things like "Thank you that my son is so healthy he can scream his lungs out at 3am..." through grit teeth. Silly, but it works.

3. Know that no matter how much you have, you will always look up when you should be looking down. The mom's house you just visited is probably jealous of another mom who has a personal Pilates instructor and a vacation home in St. Bart's or something random. Find a mom who might be envying you and try to encourage her instead.

I have never really struggled (though I do a bit with people who have a spotless house 24/7!) with this but my husband does. Our mantra (that He says helps keep it in perspective) is that you never know when your last moment on earth will be so just enjoy the moment with the people you love. It's a little morbid I guess but really living by that has helped remove so much stress and anxiety from my life (not necessarily related to keeping up with others) and made me happier than I have ever been.

I hate when I get caught in that trap and I do often. What usually brings me back to earth is seeing the reality is that we all struggle in some way. I also wish though that I could focus more on my own life and happiness and not get so caught up in envy or using others as a barometer for my happiness. Baby steps.

@gingerbebe: I really like your be thankful section. That's very zen- to see even the challenges as benefits, helping you grow, finding the good amid any circumstance.

@gingerbebe:

Although I like nice things, I personally think that quality time spent with family greatly outweighs anything that can be store bought. However, it's a lot easier for me to think this way when we live in the middle of nowhere with senior citizens as neighbors. If we lived back in my hometown, I would most definitely feel the pull.

I'd try to focus on the freedom of living within or below your means and being debt free. Most importantly, having the security of knowing it won't (immediately) all go to hell if DH loses his job.

I think there is always going to be someone richer than me who has cooler things and more moneyto spend. So I make myself focus onwhat I really want, what is most important? Going on a vacation? Buying new shoes? And I make it work within our budget. Most of the time once I take a step back I realize I don't even really want it! Also, I have many friends in the 1% and honestly I am just happy for them. I rejoice in the houses they are buying, the baby nurses they are hiring and luxury cars they are driving. These things were meant to be enjoyed and I am nothing but excitedthat they get to!