LO is 16 months old and has been having tantrums here and there and I'm not quite sure how to react to them. Is it best to ignore her? Try and distract her? I've tried both and sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn't.
How do you handle tantrums?
coconut / 8498 posts
As long as she isn't in danger of hurting herself, I ignore it. Either in the beginning or the end of the tantrum I'll calmly explain that she should use her words and I'll listen when she talks.
pomegranate / 3053 posts
My youngest is 21-months and he has the worst tantrums and can't take "no" for an answer. I usually just let him get over it and sometimes have to help him lie on the floor before he hits his head. It does require more crying that I would like but either he gets his way all the time (which I might regret!) or I try to teach him that he can't always get his way, especially when it's dangerous. Sometimes he wants to play with things that are dangerous but he doesn't understand it. I do time outs with him now as well. He doesn't like it so he'll listen for the most part, for now. Ugh, tantrums suck. My oldest didn't tantrum much at this age. He started later and when he does that he goes straight to time out to calm down.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
It's taken a while but I just have to read her mood. If she throws a harder tantrum when I try to talk to her, then I'll just ignore her. But if she's responding to what I say, I'll hold her and talk calmly to her and let her know that if she wants something, she has to stop crying first.
grapefruit / 4800 posts
At that age I tried to ignore it. We'd try talking a bit and sometimes distraction but if it was just a huge mess of a fit I would put her in her room where there's lots of carpet and she can't hurt herself and let her chill out. She'd cool off quick in her room for some reason, but I saved it for the really big tantrums so it didn't become a punishment spot or something to dread.
grapefruit / 4110 posts
Ignore and/or place in an appropriate spot to have the tantrum if needed. The newest articles I have read (probably 2 years ago) say ignoring until the emotions are over is the best.
GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts
My LO is also 16 months. I don't ignore her, but I don't react to her either. I try to calmly ask her to show/tell me what she wants, and I just wait it out. If I am holding her, but having a tough time holding her (I don't want to hurt her by dropping her/ loosing my grip,/ or trying to restrain her), I will lay her down in a clear spot on the floor and let her fuss/cry for a few seconds, and then I will pick her up again (that usually gets her to calm down a little too).
grapefruit / 4442 posts
If my DD (16 months) has a tantrum, i go up to her and ask her what is it. She tries her best to tell me. I try to decipher what she is asking for. If her tantrum gets really bad I will put her in an open space to have the tantrum (she usually throws herself on the floor and I'm scared shes going to hit her head) and when she cries really hard and lets me approach her I cuddle with her and she usually stops crying.
If she has angry tantrums where she starts to hit, we put her in the corner and has her stand there. She usually will cry and when her 30 seconds are up we go and cuddle with her and tell her not to hit.
coconut / 8861 posts
Anybody have any more tips for toddler tantrums? We're in the middle of a bad spell of them. He purposely throws down food and utensils when he doesn't get his way. The rage moments are the toughest when he tried to rip the cowl around my neck off this morning while upset.
During our morning routine, I've been talking him through it, etc. He was so upset that he didn't have his pacifier. It was underneath the crib and I couldn't grab it. It started off the whole scream cycle. He got a timeout when he got so out of control to calm down.
Our general approach is disciplining him when he throws stuff, try and talk it out a bit or understand, if it continues, then a timeout and later hugs. Our daycare lady gave us some help with the timeouts, etc. She was proud of us for doing them and being consistent. We're using Harvey Karp's Toddler book also. Anybody have any other suggestions? Are we doing it right? Does it get better?
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
At home, I try to reason with her but I ignore if that fails.
In public, I remove her from the situation or hold her...which usually calms her down right away.
coconut / 8861 posts
@autumnlove: We try to reason with him as much as we can before going to the other steps or distraction. His meltdowns are generally about crackers and cookies on the fridge. Every night, it's a meltdown about not getting cookies or crackers. He was fine with not getting them most weekdays, but that all changed recently. He usually wants them after eating. We encourage him to eat his dinner, so no snacks. It's our biggest battle right now.
pomegranate / 3759 posts
I wish I knew! Usually if theres a tantrum, its getting close to nap/bed time. We ignore/distract depending on the situation. I am really trying to be a little more sympathetic and understanding because I know she is frustrated.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I don't react to it. My mom is the mother of six children and says the best thing to do is not pay them heed, because they want attention.
After he calms down, I talk to him and see if we can reach a compromise. "I know you want to watch this show, but how about we listen to some music instead?" And that makes him feel better... for now 
coconut / 8861 posts
@Mrs. Pen: Ohh, that's good advice. For us, it's hard to not pay attention when he's throwing food during dinner when he doesn't get what he wants. That's the harder tantrum to deal with. When he's crying around the fridge, I go for the ignore approach as much as I can.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
@cascademom: he's not quite two, but we JUST started doing this. Toddlers have great comprehension so it works for now! It really helps him learn to cope with his emotions to know that I'm willing to discuss it with him and he doesn't need to throw a hissy fit about something trivial lol.
Yeah the food throwing is tough. We actually did ignore him when he threw his food for about two months, and he eventually stopped! I mean I'm not saying I'm okay with it, but scolding him did nothing. I never realized how weird that looked until we had a guest over for dinner and his face was priceless when he saw us ignore our toddler who was throwing his food on the floor lol!! It sparked some interesting conversation about parenting
coconut / 8861 posts
@Mrs. Pen: Wow, I'm impressed with the food throwing response. He definitely does it for attention. I don't think that he expects us to give him a timeout either. My husband likened it to CIO where we have a few bad days and then he gets with the program.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
@cascademom: I wouldn't expect mine to be popular opinion but it worked for us. It was two months of mess and then it stopped. If he does it now, he is scolded and food is taken away. And that is all it takes.
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