Hellobee Boards

Following because we are feeling the same as you!

@Silva: What games do you guys play? I totally agree movie night doesn't help us to reconnect either because we just zone out.

I feel more connected when we get out and do things, even if the kids are with us. I'm bugging DH about going to Garden Glow at the botanical gardens.

But yeah. I hear you. Work/crash/repeat.

Totally agree with @blackbird: getting out and doing stuff even with LO helps so much! Otherwise one of us is always doing something house related (cleaning up, laundry, all the damn leaves, yard work, etc). At night we are both tired so we just lay on the couch watching TV. DH really isn't into games so that doesn't work for us. We try and do date night at least once a month.

I keep things fresh by nagging about a wider range of things, crying for no apparent reason and taking offence when he least expects it.

@JoJoGirl: We usually both take her to gymnastics. This way the other one can't just lay in bed all morning

@JoJoGirl: We started swim with it being the thing that Daddy does with her, she has done the last two summers, since he travels so much during the week. But I would always go cause then I would get her changed while he got changed. But we both are looking forward to her going by herself this summer!

I find it more challenging in the winter months, in the summer, we can all hang out outside at the pool, we have the best weekends without having to do much planning.

In the winter, we have to be more deliberate and sometimes weather ruins our plans. One thing I am thinking of doing is booking a local hotel with an indoor pool for a weekend. We've never done that, so it feels like a new experience.

Getting out seemed to be impossible, so we've started doing at home date nights. We put the kids to bed, then have a special dinner, or wine and appetizers, or something like that. We make sure that it's not just snacks in front of Netflix, because then we don't talk to each other at all.

Looking for other ideas though!

Commenting to follow as DS will be here soon!

Right now I won't lie - our favorite things to do are go to outdoor cafes or bars Obviously that will have to change and we will have to get more creative!!

We text each other during the day. Not super personal obviously but if one of us sees an interesting article or funny meme we'll text one another or just check in to say hi how's everything going. It helps to make it feel like we're not going all day without any communication. But yeah, I feel you on just wanting to veg out at home during the week.

What about signing up for a class or panning to meet a friend one night during the week every once in awhile? Same goes for DH. Sometimes to spice things up and get out of the routine, it helps to have a little time away, even just a few hours in the evening. Then you have a chance to appreciate the cuddles on the couch while watching TV for most other nights

Getting out of the house and trying new things. Short trips when we can.

There are a ton of date night ideas to do at home after kid bedtime if you browse online. We did this for a while and it helped. The most important bit was the part where we agreed to leave our phones on the kitchen counter for the evening. Even just cooking a meal or watching TV becomes much more interactive when we don't have our damn phones glued to our noses. We did silly stuff too. We played HORSE with DS's baby basketball hoop, we tried new dessert recipes, we learned some new card games... Just agreeing to put the phones down every Wednesday night really helped.

It sounds really simple, but I've found in our relationship making an effort to be a little more affectionate goes a long way. Like, being affectionate for it's own sake, rather than to initiate sex, lol.

We hit a bit of a rut of never going out or on dates after DD was born due to finances, lack of non family babysitters, and DD having a chronic health issue. To get through it, I made DH a booklet of 12 pre-planned dates for Valentine's Day and we've been sticking to it. I also opened an account with care.com to find a good babysitter.

Each month we look up what/where our pre planned date is going to be, and then we pick what date works best for our upcoming schedule, hire a sitter, and head out for some fun! It has been really fun and we look forward to each month's date. Some of the date ideas that I pre planned are: distillery tour, brewery bike tour, comedy club, golfing together, music concert, dinner & a movie etc. It's really nice not having to think about what to do or where to go, and only focus on when to schedule it. Also, only going out once a month makes it not too much of a financial killer.

DH loved the idea and has been already brainstorming activities that he wants to add to next year's date calendar.

We love getting out together ... hiking, mini weekend getaways.

BUT, for the everyday stuff, we do dumb things, haha.

We do carry out once per week. That night, we skip bath, and put LO to bed like 15 min. early. We grab a bottle of wine, hop into bed, and watch TV on the laptop. Since we're already in bed, it's "intimate", and generally leads to us cuddling or more. It's so dumb, but it works for us, and is like a fun date night at home.

We also pick one night where LO eats dinner before us ... then I cook us a nice dinner to enjoy after she goes to bed.

Lastly, we do our laundry on Sunday & Wednesdays, and pile it all on the bed. Then, before bed, we fold it all and chat with each other. It's like a mini check in a couple times a week, and that seems to be a good place to say, "Hey! I'm stressed about work!" or "Hey! Did you know we haven't had sex for 2 weeks?!?" or "Screw this, let's fold laundry tomorrow, and catch up on The Walking Dead instead!" ...

I'd really like to do 1 day a week with no phones or TV. I'm curious if other people do that, and how it helps!!