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For a permanent fix for your stressful meals you need to read Ellyn Satter's books! Try her website for some quick help, maybe? Google her name and it will pop up. For the next three nights, try to remember that three meals will not impact his growth curve, and he ate at lunch. Lots of toddlers aren't very hungry at dinner time. Deep breaths. Maybe try reading a story out loud during dinner to your toddler to give both of you something cheerful to focus on?

@ScarletBegonia: My nephew is the same way concerning the percentiles, and even now at 8 years old is "small" but healthy. He's also the most active kid I've ever come across and never stops moving. One thing that helped my sister was realizing he was a grazer. She ended up buying a small kids table and kept a healthy variety of food with high caloric impact (think hummus/pretzels/avocado on crackers/boiled eggs/cheese slices) on it he could run by and grab during the day. He was never big on sitting down and eating meals until about age 3 or 4? It helped him eat throughout the day and lowered her stress level once she realized he just wasn't going to do set meal times.

It's not for everyone,but maybe an idea that will help.

One weird thing that helped us was moving him out of the high chair (or rather, taking the tray off of his FP booster seat) and pulling him right up to the table. It's was messier this way (at first), but he seemed to feel like he was more a part of the meal, and was more willing to eat.

So sorry to hear this and I am with you completely. My son, now 3.5 years old, also has ups and downs with eating. Some days he would literally barely eat anything and would be great and I wonder how he survives. He is very obviously the shortest in his class.

I really don't have any great advices but this is what I've been doing lately (after advices from wise fellow hellobee-ers). He has dinner at around 6pm. If he eats a little and claims he's done, I would let him run off. Husband comes home at around 7pm and I eat dinner with him. During this whole time, I leave LO's food on the table covered since 6pm. So when husband comes home and we eat, he would want to eat his food too. If he already finished his dinner, I would offer fruits at this time.

I also started a "bait": If he finishes his dinner, as in everything on his plate that evening, he gets to eat chocolate frozen yogurt, which is his favorite. It gives him a big incentive to finish the food. He does finish his food maybe 2-3 days in a week, so he gets a little bit of frozen yogurt maybe 2-3 days a week after dinner. I am not sure how you feel about frozen yogurt but that definitely was a motivation for my son.

I also go into up and down panic modes too and some days I'd pull my hair out. One thing my friend (who has a same aged child as I do) said which really made me feel better. She said children are actually very good at regulating what they need to eat for their bodies. So when there are days he didn't eat his dinner at all, I'd just try to think of that.

Also, another thing I observe my friend does: instead of focusing on what he didn't eat, focus on what he does eat. To be honest her child maybe eats the same amount of food (or a little bit more) than mine, but often times I heard her say to her son, wow, you had a really good lunch today didn't you? Instead of when you look at me, I'd say to my son oh man you didn't eat anything don't tell me you will be hungry again when we get home. So I guess it is the glass half full/empty thing. Maybe it is indeed a vibe that if we let it go, our child will start eating. Good luck to you and I hope both of our children grow and grow!!

I guess there are two parts to your question. First-- how to make him eat better. Second-- how to manage stress.

For the first... Does he eat better moving? My LO is not a great eater at her high chair but if I pop her in the stroller and put food on her tray she almost always eats it all. Same with the car. If I put a snack in her cup holder she eats the whole thing but if we're in the house she's way too busy to eat a snack usually.

Second (and I think this actually helps the first as well)... I do think the stressing matters. What I find myself saying to my LO over and over again is "you don't have to eat it but you can't throw it" (her issue is throwing food off her tray constantly). I never push her to eat just one more bite or anything. Some meals she hardly eats anything but it sort of just is what it is. She's super stubborn so I know the harder I pushed the more she'd refuse just because she was annoyed. If she eats one good meal a day I'm pretty happy.

What's his milk intake situation? I used to stress a lot about my LO eating because she had food refusal issues when she was very young (2-4 mo) and then was extremely fussy about eating until about 8mo. It felt like every bottle was SO IMPORTANT and every time she refused a bottle I'd worry it was the start of a trend of refusal again. Then when she was 12 mo she got a horrible stomach bug and couldn't eat hardly anything (bottle or food) for a week and...... she was fine. And I realized that the situation was really not dire at this age. She can go a day (or two) without eating much and be just fine. You can do what you can to offer but you can't force it to happen. And if he drinks milk at least he is getting calories there.

@hilsy85: I was going to offer similar advice. If there are no health problems, I would try to just ease up a bit. My two have been through picky phases or phases where they seem to not eat anything and sometimes I get really worked up about it. But I also try to remember to just let go. I try to offer them healthy meals and if they are hungry they eat them and if they aren't they don't. Just this week my son has been exceedingly difficult and the past three nights he has barely touched his dinner. Last night he literally had one bite of food and a small handful of blueberries. Tonight he wolfed down everything I put in front of him and even had second helpings!

My DD had been so stubborn with eating that I actually had to put her on pediasure milk shakes to make sure she was getting nutrients.

How does your little guy go with snacks? Could you do a bento style tray / box full of healthy snacks for him to pick from as the day goes on?

My son is 24lbs at 2.5, so quite skinny. He's not really a bad eRer, just doesn't eat a ton of food. I'd say that everything really starting improving right around the age of your lo, so one part of this is just natural phase of eating that most toddlers go through.

One hint we had to do is move milk far away from meals, but it sounds like you Re pretty much doing that. Eventually, it was really only in the morning and before bed.

The other thing that has always worked well for me is serving courses. He will often eat what is in front of him, but he won't choose it over. More preferred food like read or pasta...so I start with meat, then veggies, then, carb, then fruit. I can't even have the other stuff in sight or he will refuse what he has...

My son is a 1%er and I still worry, but it's not the same all encompassing worry as when he was younger, so I'd say, it'll get better. Many many toddlers make eating stressful and anything you can do to keep things positive is a win. I do lots of stroller and car snacks to get extra calories in. Oh one last thing! Walk away! Dylan often eats better when I'm just messing around in the kitchen and not just sitting in front of him.

Good luck!

Read Ellyn Satters! She has very helpful tips on her website if you don't have time for a while book.

Glad your last meal wasn't as bad as you thought!

My just-2 year old is a really good eater but even she has her days where she eats barely anything. I found that she prefers snacking while playing, so while I make dinner I make sure she has a good snack incase it's all that she eats that night (such as fruit w/cheese & crackers). When it's dinner time we make sure she's sitting with us, going thru the whole dinner routine. Even if she has only one bite, I try not to worry too much and instead focus on the fact that she's still benefitting from sitting down to a meal with family.