The Santa/Tooth Fairy threads got me thinking. The parents that aren't doing it cause they aren't going to lie to their children. How do you not lie?
I think at some point we are all going to say that toy is broken when we think it is annoying. I am going to leave without you, when they don't walk to the car fast enough. Etc.
Thoughts?
nectarine / 2667 posts
@Smurfette: I was just thinking about starting this thread! We do plan on doing Santa, but we try not to tell little lies when we can avoid it. They are such an ingrained part of parenting daily life though! It takes a real, conscious effort for us to not tell the little lies.
honeydew / 7811 posts
My current favorite lie is "_____ is all gone!" Like when LO could make me blow bubbles for 2 hours straight and I'm feeling light headed! Bubbles are all gone!
Or when he wants to eat 400 blueberries so I need to cut him off. "All gone!"
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@cmomma17: side note, R ate a ton of blueberries on Sat for the first time. I freaked out when her poop was black yesterday!
nectarine / 2079 posts
Haha, lies are sometimes the only way of managing kids - they are so irrational otherwise!
bananas / 9899 posts
I guess I'd like to avoid lies (even little white lies) as much as possible, although I agree they're probably unavoidable if you want to stay sane lol.
I do think there is a difference between telling your kid you have no more cookies and telling them there is a Santa Claus even though previously the child wouldn't have missed him and going as far as to stage evidence that he's real.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@cmomma17: lol I tell that lie allllllllllll the time. "Cookies" - All gone! "Where's baby (her baby doll)?" She's at home sleeping. @Smurfette: hahaha we had that poop this morning!! 
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
@Smurfette: haha I did the SAME thing the first time o gorged on blueberries. I was so freaked out.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
But, on the topic of lies, I won't tell one that I can be outed on later. Like, if I say, "We can go to the pool tomorrow when we get home from daycare." I will make sure to bring it up tomorrow when we are home from daycare and ask if she wants to go. If she decides at that time she doesn't want to, fine. But I want to make sure we have that trust atmosphere in the house.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@mediagirl: I left a note for her teacher this morning as a warning cause she ate more yesterday!
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
I agree that lying is an unfortunate part of parenting. But I also want to avoid it where possible. We will not do the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny, for example, because I personally think those things are silly. I would also prefer not to do Santa, but that isn't really an option for us. Both sets of grandparents are fully *in* (in fact, MIL likes to pretend that DH still believes in Santa :huge eye roll:), and my husband wants to. That's fine... I like the idea of Santa for stockings, etc. But I refuse to push the lie... once DD comes to me with the idea that Santa isn't real, the gig's up. I am not pushing it. Although we will, of course, teach her that it is okay to believe and Santa is special for those who do... so it is important to respect that belief and keep your lack of belief to yourself.
nectarine / 2522 posts
Hmmmm I think there is a difference between make believe and lying!! Make believe is a magical part of childhood. Like looking for fairies in the garden or wishing upon a star... I'm not going to tell my child point blank those things aren't real. Imagination is a healthy part of growing up.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I am dealing with lying with my son right now...last night, he didn't want to eat his dinner, so he told me it was too hot. It wasn't and I told him that if he didn't want it, he could say that, but not to make up stories about the food. He kind of looked at me, then responded that he didn't want any more to eat.
It kind of made me reflect in the sense that I really do try to tell the truth about things, but sometimes, it is easier to tell a white lie than it is to deal with the explanation or meltdown that might ensue.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
My parents never ever made believe about santa, tooth fairy, or any of that and I don't think my imagination was compromised! I still had my tea parties w/ dolls, chasing invisible monsters w/ friends, etc etc.
I totally feel like those other everyday white lies are needed for our sanity lol. My mom threatened me w/ so many random thing when I was young!
blogger / grapefruit / 4836 posts
@Mrs squirreld: this!
I dont agree with lying to kids to make them do things (if you dont like a toy, tell them no...you dont have to lie about it), but we will enjoy as much make believe as we can.
Eta, i think a bigger issue is lying to others when your kid knows, or asking your kid to lie. For example, telling your 4 year old to say she is 3 to get in somewhere free, or taking candy to a movie even though it isnt allowed. IMO those are the kind of lies that form issues (thinking the rules dont apply to them etc.).
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
I like santa so we will go along with that in our household
I have told her little lies like, "cookies are all gone" or telling her that we are out of juice when I want her to drink milk. But I think there's a difference between that and breaking a promise. If I promise her something, whether it's we will go to the park tmrw or we will eat ice cream if you finish this, I do my absolute to not break it. My mom was huge on never breaking promises. She went out of her way to make sure she always kept her word, regardless of how minor or major the promises were, and I think that was the key to developing a relationship of trust and security. I never had to doubt my mom- if she said X, then I knew I could count on X. I hope to foster that same sort of trust with my daughter.
grapefruit / 4120 posts
I actually manage not to lie to my kids. I can't remember lying to them about something. When I don't want him to eat more cookies, I just tell him they're not healthy for his body, his teeth, whatever -- sometimes maybe I am bringing on a tantrum instead of averting it but it's fine. "We're not eating any more cookies," is also explanation enough in my opinion.
Same with other situations... One toy I couldn't stand, I just hid it and my son never noticed. When they want to keep playing and playing I tell them mommy needs a break!
Kids can handle the truth
papaya / 10473 posts
@septca: YES. Agree with every word!
@Smurfette: @cmomma17: Blueberry poop is terrifying! ha!
eggplant / 11408 posts
@pinkcupcake: I agree about not breaking a promise-that's not something I want to foster!
@Mrs squirreld: YES!!!
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