A coworker recently suggested that we trade phone numbers so that we could communicate if we needed the other person to cover for a duty that we share. The first time I texted her (I needed coverage to attend a meeting and asked if we could switch days), she responded with a rude text about how I should talk to our boss if my work responsibilities preclude me from doing that duty. I was so taken aback by her response (she also never actually responded to whether or not she would cover for me) that I have wanted to say something to her about it in person. How do you deal with rude coworkers? Unfortunately, this situation will probably continue to come up.
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Hmm. I'd respond with "sure! I thought you gave me your # so we could coordinate directly, though?"
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I’d avoid being rude back but would say something like @Mama Bird suggested: “I’m happy to coordinate the responsibilities for this duty through my boss, however it was my understanding that you wanted to exchange numbers to coordinate directly. Is that not correct?”
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I’d try to talk with her face-to-face rather than going for resolution over email or text. You can communicate so much with body language (i.e. confident posture and direct eye contact) and you’ll see where she’s at, too. I recently went through something like this except it was a subordinate. I was taken aback at first, too, and it happened over chat. I acknowledged that something was off in my chat response — something like PP’s suggest — and then “Let’s talk Monday” so that you’re not getting into it over text.
You could say that I have pretty high expectations for civility, clear communication and transparency in how colleagues treat each other. Many times we spend more time with colleagues than family! It needs to be a healthy environment. Sometimes people need to be gently held accountable and shown where the boundaries are. And as the saying goes, “you show other people how to treat you.”
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I like the wording @MrsSCB used, and would say this face-to-face instead of over text. People are seriously so much bolder (i.e., ruder) over text.
I sometimes deal with an employee from a different department, and she is such an asshole over email. Instead of responding by email, i'll call and ask her to clarify what she meant and she will usually back down a bit in her tone.
I wouldn't say anything about the text being rude though - i'd stick to the verbiage suggested above.
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I would try to ask her about it in the office - have a 1:1 meeting with her if you have a place you can chat with her privately to make sure that y'all are on the same page instead of text. It doesn't make sense for her to suggest to do this and then be rude. If it is going to come up again likely it would be nice to talk with her directly about how to best handle these situations. If she is not helpful in that meeting bring your boss in to discuss how to handle these situations in the future.
When I feel a co-worker has been rude and it is not something that I want to shrug off, I'll talk about it with them in person and say I heard you say this - did I understand you correctly or I was confused by xyz. -
@Pancakes: wow thats weird especially sincd she suggested exchanging numbers. In this case I would have just said "got it thanks" and made a mental note to be wary of this person and delete their number. It would be different if they were rude at work then I would speak up about it.
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6 comments