My hubs and I are in a rut. I think we're just so focused on being mommy and daddy, we're really not nuturing our marriage. This scares me. I notice patterns developing that can lead to being unhappy. So I've decided to pick up some literature on how to avoid potential pitfalls.
My next step is to incorporate doing things that show him that I love him still. What are some thoughtful things that you do/have done to show your affection?
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
What about sending him a text to let him know you're thinking of him. And when you're home, give him a kiss on the forehead or a hug/embrace at random times. Cuddling seems to be the easiest way to show someone how much you care about them.
Also don't forget to make time for yourselves - go out on a date, go see a movie, etc. - and don't even talk about the kids. Make it all about you two.
coconut / 8305 posts
The Love List is a great little book that can help. It's a book of "to-do's" daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly to help stay connected... all really simple things that generally just get overlooked. =)
apricot / 489 posts
@babyeboecksmom- those are great idea, I actually just texted him. And I'll definitely remind myself to be more affectionate. I'd love to go on a date, we desperately need one. But we don't a babysitter. Until we go to visit my family in another state, then we'll make the time to spend together.
@runsyellowlites- I'm going to get that book ASAP. It sounds like such a great resource!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
I'm a HUGE card person. So throughout our relationship -not just for special occasions- I would randomly give him a "I love you" card. In it I would always write something about why I love him usually pertaining to that point in our life.
The other day I just got him a card telling him how much I appreciate all the hard work he's putting into renovating our new home for our little family. How much I'm looking forward to raising our family in our new home, etc etc.
I think it's little things like that that break up the monotony that takes thought AND effort on your part that shows them you care.
Our best days sometimes are just staying in all day in our jammies and watching TV all day long. Laying on the couch together. Ordering takeout or making food together. I call those our "recharge" days. Where it's just him and I and that's it.
coconut / 8305 posts
@BabyLove: Maybe try a date night in too! Not sure how old baby is, but even if you just make the most out of a couple hours inbetween sleep/wake times....
Have a picnic in the living room or make dinner together... those are fun date ideas & you don't have to leave!
And I've had that little book for years & love it! Very simple daily things like "laugh together" of "have some kind of physical touch"... seriously things that you would think we'd all be like DUH... but we just forget in the midst of life!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
My friends have a white board that has "why I love you" permanently on the top and they leave each other little notes. Super cute! My husband and I have a hard time getting out as well. Our patents ate near by but we have four kids (3 years, twin 2 year olds and 4 months). So sometimes we have late night date night. After the three older boys go to bed (about 8) we order fancy take out and have a nice dinner together. Sometimesit will include my 4 month old these days but soon she will be more scheduled and she will be inbed then too.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
Food always works for my hubby. I make him his favorite cookies or pie. We also make a point of it to go on a date at least once a month, if not more.
apricot / 489 posts
@runsyellowlites- you're right, we can have a date night at home. I think I'll pick up something fun for dinner/drinks tonight.
@regberadaisy- a card is so simple but I never really think of them outside of holidays/birthdays/anniversaries. I'll get him one today, since I have to stop at CVS anyway 
@oceans723- it's funny that you mention your friend's dry erase board, I made that for us for Valentine's day. And before I left the house this morning I was sure to write something new on it. It hadn't been updated in awhile.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@regberadaisy, @BabyLove Oh yeah, cards and notes. My husband loves them. I used to send him one a week, or more often, when we lived long distance. Now I'll make him cards for special occasions. Maybe get him a card or just write him a little note telling him why you appreciate him today, this week, this month, whatever. It'll totally bring a smile to his face.
pear / 1787 posts
I second the little notes and texts. I also do random little things like bring his favorite wine or a giant bag of gummy bears home from the grocery store (super mature, I know).
I know it's hard for you to get out of the house right now, but once I surprised my husband by taking him out to dinner at this restaurant he loves, one that I don't like very much--it showed him I was thinking of him, and he appreciated that I was willing to try something he loves rather than shoot it down right away. Maybe you could do a similar thing, but with a meal you cook at home? Good luck!
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
This is a personal question, but are you two having sex regularly? I think most men need sexual intimacy..
Also, DH and I text and skype a lot, we write each other little notes, I cook for him, we go out together as a family. I if were you, I would totally get a sitter and have a date night with your DH soon!
persimmon / 1341 posts
The book Love Dare is great! My husband really appreciates when I tell him how much I appreciate him and compliment him on manly type things. When he feels respected as a man he feels loved and returns those sentiments in ways I appreciate. He also likes it when I cook his favorite meal or pick up one of his favorite snacks at the grocery store. We have very different tastes in movies and tv shows so agreeing to watch one of his picks always makes him really happy too.
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