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@TemperanceBrennan: Very good point. If you're pregnant with a child you want and maybe even tried for over a short or long period of time, then of course you'd wonder at how in the world someone could ever get an abortion. But in the shoes of someone who didn't want to be pregnant, who may not have a lot of money to even have a healthy pregnancy, who won't have time to take care of a baby because of working multiple jobs just to stay afloat...the choice may not seem so simple.
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No change here. I was super pro-choice before and remain super pro-choice now.
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I'm pro life. Always have been and will be.
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I'm not pregnant yet, but in the TTC process I've found (like many of you) but it hasn't changed my overall views (I'm pro-choice) but it has made me realize that it wouldn't be an option for me anymore. It's also made me realize how much I wish that every baby would be born to parents who want it as much as so many of us do.
Also, only on HelloBee could this be such a respectful and intelligent conversation. You ladies are just lovely. All of you.
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My stance is and has always been this:
It is *not* for me, but legally and politically, I am pro-choice. This is a free country and everyone has their own conscious. The government should not dictate that, especially because the government does not understand the struggle.
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This is a really hard one. Before getting pregnant myself, I knew for me, I was not someone who could have an abortion, but didn't feel OK making that choice for anyone else. I guess I still feel that way, but knowing what I do now, and just how much of a baby even a 12 week old fetus is, seeing it for myself, and feeling that life from the inside, and also knowing a bit more about how the abortion process is done, I just feel very sad about it, but again, know it's not my place to decide for anyone else.
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I was and still am pro-choice even though its not for me. However, I think the "deadline" should be earlier in the pregnancy. I think aborting at 20 weeks is beyond wrong.
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I've always been very pro-life and having children (as well as multiple losses) has made me even more so.
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My first daughter didn't change my stance in any way, but having my second daughter made me feel even stronger in my opinion on the issue. I think most adoptive moms feel differently than me, but pregnancy is not a zero sum game and if one person decides to terminate does not mean another will make the same decision. There will always be infants that need loving homes and I believe every woman deserves the right and the dignity to decide what she thinks is best for her fetus, self and family.
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I was and still am very pro choice.
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As someone who ended a very-much-wanted pregnancy at 21 weeks just last year (due to a genetic anomaly that wasn't discovered until my anatomy scan) and is currently pregnant, I am as pro-choice as I've ever been.
Not every abortion is an unwanted child-- and let me tell you, ending a much-anticipated and wanted pregnancy because your child won't be able to live for very long, even with extensive medical interventions was probably the hardest decision I've ever had to make-- and it seems incredibly arrogant to me that anyone could try to impose their value on others. (Not that that's what I think many "pro-life" folks are doing-- it's fine to be personally against ending a pregnancy, but I balk at wanting to tell anyone else what to do with their body.)
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I was pro choice, but even more so now. Being pregnant is NOT easy and caring for a baby is not easy either, I can't imagine if the child was unwanted, how difficult it would be.
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I was and still remain pro-choice.
I could not abort my baby. But why should I decide what others get to do?
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I always have been and always will be staunchly pro-choice. Regardless of how many pregnancies I go through, it is NEVER my place to dictate to others how they must live their life. And knowing how difficult it is to raise a baby, and having seen the outcomes of unwanted children through my work as a social worker, I would never in a million years think it was ok for people to be forced to have babies they don't want/can't support/aren't ready for. Not my place.
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I don't want to stir the pot or anything, but I'm genuinely curious about those that have said that you are "pro-life": Are you for making abortion illegal and completely taking that choice away from everyone? Or is the term used more for yourself, that you wouldn't have one?
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My views have not changed. I was pro-choice and I'm still pro-choice!
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@DiamondEyes: I'm pro-choice now, but I was raised 100% abortion should be illegal, because there is NO reason EVER for an abortion, up to and including genetic disorders that would leave the baby in severe pain for the brief span it was alive, or the mother is guaranteed to die, etc. One of my relatives recently posted a story about a baby that survived a disorder that was supposed to have killed them when the mother refused an abortion against doctor recommendations. For people like my family, it's God's choice whether the baby survives, and you have no right to terminate. Maybe God wants to use the few minutes the baby lives to teach you something, that sort of thing. Looking back, it really horrifies me. I accept that there are people who feel that way, but I can't believe that I once did.
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@Torchwood: So what made you change your mind?
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@Mrs. Pen: well said (even though I'm on the other side of the fence so to speak)
It made me more pro choice, for a number of reasons. I hope to find a good place to volunteer and get involved in our new state to put that energy towards preventing unwanted pregnancies. That is what frustrates me most, that the bulk of those I encounter who are anti-abortion spend their money and energy protesting abortions, which no one "wants", instead of supporting evidence based ways to minimize unwanted pregnancies (umm billboards, not so much).
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@DiamondEyes: Initially when I became an atheist (which is a long story in itself), I stayed adamantly pro-life. I still didn't believe in "killing babies," even if I didn't believe they had souls. Then one day I watched an episode of Law and Order SVU that involved abortion. A teenage girl had gotten pregnant (I could go into how. Purity culture played a role, but I'll stay on topic for now), and she almost died. She was unable to get an abortion, and was so desperate she had her boyfriend beat her to force her to miscarry,and she hemoragged. Her older sister had gotten pregnant and their father disowned her, so the daughter in the episode knew what would happen if he found out, and she was in NO position to raise a baby or even survive pregnancy if he kicked her out.
Watching that, I realized that I totally supported her right to choose an abortion (and without parental consent). It was the first time I realized that I had a LOT to reconsider, since all my morals came from my religious background. I took the time to research abortion from a non-christian point of view and developed my *own* opinions.
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I'm pro minding my own business. I think it's a personal decision as to whether or not to terminate a pregnancy and much respect has to be given no matter what decision a woman makes. I can't even say without a doubt what I would do unless I'm in that position.
Even as someone who suffers from IF and has experienced a loss, I don't think that the government has the right to constantly subject woman to laws to keep us oppressed. It's like the viagra/birth control debate. Before ACA some plans would not cover birth control but they cover viagra. Strange...
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I remain reluctantly pro-choice, bc I just wish abortion didn't have to exist at all.
Having a child HAS made me angry at the conservatives who wish to restrict access to abortion and contraception but will not fund services for children who are born as a result. I've become passionate about the need for science-based sex education, universal coverage for contraception, aid for families seeking to adopt, and services for neglected, abused children who were probably never wanted in the first place.
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@TheReelDeal: That's one of the best ways to put this I've ever heard. I think I'll borrow your words in the future!
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It made me even more pro-life, especially with the birth of my 2nd.
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@TheReelDeal: Pro minding my own business. Love it!
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Made me more pro choice.
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Still very pro choice...despite having multiple losses-I have actually had a few IRL people ask of that's changed my opinion. Nope. My desire for children should not affect another's decision.
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@TheReelDeal:
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@mrsmate: completely agree with everything you said!
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@meganmp: exact same thing for me. I wanted very badly to have a child. I don't think i wanted anything more in the world. When I had a miscarriage, I cried for weeks. I prayed all the time for another baby. That being said, when I did get pregnant again, I was SO, SO, sick and utterly miserable that I felt like I couldn't take another day of throwing up. Lying in the bathroom floor, the thought of having an abortion darted through my mind... Never a serious thought, but I was THAT sick. I couldn't imagine a rape victim going through something like that, or even someone unready to have a child. Abortion wouldn't be MY choice, but I think others should have the option and I will try my best not to judge. But for myself, I don't think I could do it even if i or the baby had a medical problem - but hopefully that's a bridge ill never have to cross because I can't imagine a more difficult decision to make.
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@sosaysmegan: Thank you for sharing your story! I really feel for you and wish you the best!
I am like @mrsmate in that I've always been pro-choice and am still pro-choice after having a child, but I get most upset about the issues surrounding preventing unwanted pregnancies and taking care of those unwanted children after they are born.
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@kjpugs: and...you've made me cry!
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: I know right? Honestly I never even considered that until this thread and it had been BLOWING MY MIND all night long! So crazy.
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I can't say having a baby has made me sway more pro-life or pro-choice... But it did make me realize the heaviness and hurt many women must go through in ending a pregnancy. It has to be extremely sad or painful or even traumatizing for so many women. So I guess it just made me more empathetic.
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I voted no change because I have always been personally pro-life and politically pro-choice. My pregnancy has reinforced that I could never have an abortion. However, I still think abortion should be legal and safe.
Limiting access to safe, legal abortion does not make women have fewer abortions - it makes them become more desperate, endanger their lives, and put money & power in the hands of the wrong people. Sadly, women have been ending their pregnancies from the beginning of time and they will continue to. I think there should be safe avenues for that to take place, in combination with more access to family planning education and birth control.
Interestingly, I think because I am having a daughter, I think about it in terms of - what if she was raped and got pregnant? I would want her to have that option even though it would be heartbreaking. So maybe I am a teensy bit more pro-choice!
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I am mostly pro-life, but I don't take hard stances on most debates because life is gray. I definitely do feel more pro-life though after miscarriage. After the pain and weeks of trying to hold on to that pregnancy, Its hard to imagine that someone would get make the choice to get rid of their baby, a life.
ETA: I agree with other posters about being personally pro-life, reluctantly pro-choice politically
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I have always been pro-choice, and though I've only been pregnant 1 week I don't see that ever changing, my body and baby have nothing to do with anyone else's choices.. Someone I am very close to had to have a late term termination because of a birth defect and it was absolutely heartbreaking, but ultimately so thankful she was able to have the care she needed
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@sosaysmegan: That is heartbreaking. At my anatomy scan they found something that turned out to be nothing, but looked like it could've been a chromosomal abnormality that's incompatible with life. Just the three days spent waiting to find out more were agonizing so I can only imagine what you went through. It sounds like you made the compassionate decision.
To answer the question, I'm pro-choice, even more so after caring for a baby.
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I am pro choice and even more so after having my LO. I love her with all my heart and some days it is just so very hard. I believe every child should be a wanted child and have seen first hand neglect from a woman not ready to have a child but felt she couldn't have an abortion. I do think that abortion isn't the problem but a lack of education and access to birth control.
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@TurtleDoves: My feelings exactly.
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