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I don’t like my stomach after my second. I don’t have the lose skin, but I do know what you are talking about. Three of my “skinny” friends who have 3+ kids ended up with the lose skin. Two had mommy make overs. One is just awesome and rocking it. My stomach was never great before but I long to have it back. 15 months after second kid and I’m struggling to find a good work out time or routine to lose the last 15 pounds I’m hanging on to that I hope will shed the stomach and hips. Go look at Ali Fedotowski’s Instagram page. She is really open about her stomach post second baby. Just be confident and proud of your body. Wear the two piece if you want. No one will really care what you look like except yourself. And your husband will hopefully be very understand. My husband and I still have a “fun” time together even in bad lighting that just isn’t great for me. so, be confident! And give yourself some slack and time to get back to where you want to be. And nurse your baby all day all night if you can or are. It will help.

Hugs to you mama, I feel you on the negative self talk. I am not thin but I am working hard to love myself and just do the best I can. My body is amazing for making 3 people and caring for them every day. I really do feel strong and try to focus on that.

I do think it will continue improving but I think the second baby does do a lot more damage. I got some loose skin after my second even though my stomach went reasonably back to normal after time (I wasn’t wearing a bikini anytime after having kids!). Post #3 I cannot even speak of it ... I don’t know if I’ll ever think it’s worth it to pay for the mommy makeover but dang I could use it. My last is 13m so all I can do now is lose weight to help but the skin will never go back.

My tummy after my 2nd is definitely different. But I have to say it is way better now (18 months PP) than it was 1 month PP! Give yourself some time. It took 9 months to bake the kid, surely you can give yourself at least that much time to get back to “normal”
That being said, I get it. I felt horrible about my body for a while after my 2nd. Cried a lot (but also, hormones). Also thought I’d never wear a bikini again, etc. But this summer that’s all I wore and I feel great. It’s not perfect. When I first wake up is when it’s best haha. I have diastasis recti so I will always have a bit more curvature especially after a meal and my belly button is weird. I honesty thought it was cheesy to say before it was me, but I’m now very proud of my body and I feel like it says “yes, I have 2 kids but I still look pretty good and f* anyone who has a problem with it.”

Oh and I’m 11m postpartum and my stretch marks have faded a lot.

Mines really bad! I stopped caring, weirdly. We had a real bellies thread on here years ago and basically my stretch marks were intense red flames that crawled all up my abdomen and after another kid they kind of lightened but then they also kind of wrinkled up and sagged so my whole tummy is a mess.

But I stopped caring when I started having (seemingly) never ending health issues. Like 100% stopped caring and was in the bargaining stage of “God if you just let me raise my girls until they are teenagers, you can take every ounce of beauty I ever had and I will be greatful to be alive” type of thing.

Anyway, I just had surgery 5 days ago, and now I’ll have additional scars on my tummy and also now my belly button is crazy because one of the incisions is directly in my belly button and I don’t care at all—I’m sure when these incision heal I’m going to have intentions and ripples and dimples and you know what? I just want to eat without pain and sleep/stand up/sit down/move without pain and I want to be there for my kids and hug them and use my body in all those wonderful functions ways that it can move, even if it’s “ugly”.

I’m not saying at all that it’s not a valid worry—2 years ago when all my health issues started, I had a crazy full body rash that took months to dx and a couple of additional months to fully get in control and my absolute rock bottom point was the week the rash spread to my face—because then your freakish medical problem can’t be covered by long sleeves and the whole world can see your illness and it just sucks. So I get it.

But I’ve just had a relatively minor surgery and now I’m thoroughly convinced that a mommy makeover would never be worth it to me personally. Surgery and the related pain is no joke. I’ve never been scared of medical things but this surgery (small as is was) has made me develop some anxiety over future surgeries (kind of inevitable as you get older) and now I know I won’t ever be able to do something for purely elective reasons. I’m a wuss, I can’t handle it.

My tummy looked the same as pre-pregnancy about a month postpartum with my first. Things are a little different with the second... I’m almost three months post partum now. I’ve lost all the baby weight and I’m not overweight but my body is just softer. My tummy is a little more rounded instead of flat and I have light stretch marks and loose skin. I’m hoping that changes over time but it seems like the second pregnancy just hits your body harder.

My stomach has always been my trouble spot even before kids. It’s where I hold most of my extra weight.

Well, 3 kids in less than 4 years and all c sections has made my stomach even worse. I’m still carrying extra weight there (working on it) and it’s just softer. So if I lose the extra weight I’m sure it will just be loose skin. My belly button is more stretched out and I have light stretch marks.

It just is what it is. I don’t like it but I’m learning to accept it this what I look like now. And I’m in my 40s now. My body is different than when I was in my 20s. Life is different. I have accept that my body will not ever be what it was before. But I have 3 pretty awesome kids and everyday I can’t believe they came from my body!!!

@LCTBQE: stack of pancakes so true. I put on a pair of high waisted tight Levi’s today and I just had a bra on top. The way it bunched my tummy skin from all directions was alarming and I did a triple take because I’d never seen that before but then I laughed and literally smoothed it out with my hands like it was a bunched up table cloth and then moved on.

@cake2017: my husband isn’t the “feelings” type. Maybe when I was very newly PP he gave me a pat on the back once but that was about it.
I couldn’t really talk to him about my body and how I feel, but he is good about paying me compliments to let me know he still likes what he sees. So I guess he’s supportive in that way.
He’s very honest.

Oh man, I am 4 weeks PP from LO#3 who was LGA and 1 week late...let's just say he was not kind to my midsection. I am trying to walk every day and started the Mutu program to help with core. But I just try and remind myself that I grew 3 awesome humans and this is the price! DH doesn't really care, that I can tell anyhow. He's mostly counting down until I get my IUD and we can resume sexy time, so I think he probably won't care how I look like as long as I can't get pregnant and I'm naked I think what helps me the most is remembering that my kids are sponges that take in everything I say and project, and I want my daughters to be proud of what their bodies can do and not be defined by how they appear. So whenever I'm feeling bad about myself I try and think about how I would want to come across to them. Also, I put the scale away, that was not doing me any favors! I think I also need to buy a new pair of in between jeans. I don't like to wear maternity when I'm not pregnant and my fat pants still don't fit!

@cake2017: Do you feel like your husband is critical of your postpartum body?

So I still looked pregnant 1 month postpartum! You should definitely give it time. That said, I’m following because at 19 mos pp with my first i still hate my body. My clothes mostly fit but don’t look as good and I hate my stomach too. I was slim before and just can’t accept the pouch. I also cry about it and would never wear a bikini anymore. I did buy 2 cute one pieces (Summersalt and Becca) that I feel pretty good in. But honestly, I feel for you and have no advice other than that I am trying to learn to accept my new normal and you should too? Ha

@cake2017: 1, it'll definitely get better and you probably won't really know what your body's going to look like until at *least* 6 months pp. 2, it sounds like your husband is kind and supportive and probably pretty damn grateful and amazed that you carried his child and I hope you don't feel self-conscious around him for long. mine thinks I look terrific for having had two kids even though I very obviously am not the same anymore, and tbh I think what's typical are the comments above that most husbands seriously are unbothered by the pp mom bod. also, men get dad bod and gain weight and go bald and just.. age. Everyone here is approaching middle age, it's just life.

@LCTBQE: @cake2017: agree that husbands probably aren’t nearly as bothered by our postpartum bodies as we are. I remember SOBBING after my first (like inconsolable couldn’t even form a word for the first 5 mins) to my post partum doula that my husband would never look at me the same, I’d never be sexy to him again, my boobs would always be baby-feeders to him, etc etc etc. I REFUSED to pump in front of him for a whole month. I think in our minds it’s part of the identity crisis we have as mom vs wife vs woman. We don’t (or at least I didn’t) feel the same so it stands to reason (in my mind) that he won’t feel the same about me. But it hasn’t been true at all!
Again, PP hormones are awful.