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This is a really personal question.

Do you know how much you would be paying per week at a daycare center? I would go off that.

@T.H.O.U.: yes, it is personal. Some moms would never take money from their kids. Others might need the money. And others might just have no problem taking money regardless of circumstance.

If just have an honest conversation with her about it- you have some time!

@agold: haha yup yup. My mom lives with my brother. She quit her job to watch the grandkids. She also did/does all the grocery shopping and cooking, etc. You bet she takes the money when my SIL gives it. She needs money to go grocery shopping and spending money for herself. Otherwise she'll have to dip into her own savings for any recreation. And that's not right.

I guess it depends, what are her expenses? Not the dollar amount, but what is she regularly spending money on?

I would try and offer a fixed weekly amount and see what she says. I am assuming she'd accept it.

Is this an expectation from her to be paid?

My mom will be taking on a couple of days a week, and there is definitely no expectation of money. I think we'll just gift her every few months as a thank-you (mani/pedis, etc.). She's VERY excited about this chapter of her life and when we were kids, my grandparents were our care providers as well.

I think an honest conversation would be good to have. Since it will be full-time she might appreciate something. Is she quitting a job to be able to do this?

When I was looking at GrandmaCare I was going to offer my mom $100/ week and stock the fridge for her to eat breakfast & lunch at our house. The rate was based on a few factors a) covers gas for her commute, b) she has very little baby care experience, and c) she specifically wanted to save us money. My mom is retired and no longer has a mortgage.

As others have noted this is super circumstantial. I know in my community it definitely seems like the norm is to not pay. Right now my parents watch our daughter twice a week and also pick her up at my work and drive to their house 25 minutes away and bring her back at the end of the day. We pay them $100 a month for gas. I know my mom would like to be paid more but to be honest there is only so much I am willing to pay her before I'd rather her just go to daycare every day. Next year I will probably double what we're doing this year.

My mom has not worked for almost 30 years so that factors into things. Also since I am a teacher she has several weeks off during the year and the whole summer. Next year my plan was to drop down to just one day a week but she doesn't want to so I think she is ok with our arrangement!

ETA: Obviously this might be different for you, but if I were already providing for my mom's living and daily expenses I would definitely not feel obligated to pay her at all besides a small allowance type amount.

My mom will move across the country into our guesthouse for a few months until the baby is 6 months old (so for like 3 months). I know she won't take a penny from us, but I'm prepared to do whatever is necessary to compensate her -- and then some -- in other ways (airfare back to her home state some weekends, long-term car rental if she wants it, lots of thank-you trips to get nails done and shop...).

Everyone's family is so different when it comes to money. Some families would expect compensation or assistance and, therefore, a conversation would be necessary. I think if our situation were going to be a permanent one, I'd brainstorm a way to gently "force" a stipend on her of some kind.

@Amorini: Similar situation here. She comes out and stays with us for a few weeks because she offered and loves being able to watch the babies. It's her first grand kids and she is now retired. We have been paying for her airfare every time she comes out. She has a crappy old iphone and we've tried to tell her that we want to pay for a brand new iphone with more storage and she declined. We tried really hard to tell her that we really appreciate her coming out and watching them while DH's health is bad. Then she went home for two weeks and we had to pay for a nanny. At $25 an hour over a week an half. Yeah, that's when we realized that we need to give her more because of how much she saves us. I always knew she was being very helpful and saving us money but when you are writing out a check for $1000 for a week of care... yeah, you really appreciate grandma care. We try to go on weekend road trips so she's able to see the area. DH takes her out to dinner. Even when I gave her a check to pay her for her flight and added about $50 because I rounded up, she said she would write me a check for that money because I gave her too much.

@LBee: I agree with you. These answers definitely affect payment.