So, I added to another post about this but am starting my own because I feel like I need real help. Here's our situation, as concisely as possible:
-3 month old not on any kind of schedule during the day other than eats every 3-3.5 hours and is only wake for 1.5 hours.
-She does not fall asleep on her own. Needs to be bounced and shushed to sleep but only takes like 5-10 mins (except MOTN just falls asleep). She doesn't really get drowsy,--she goes from playing to irritable and then we bounce her to sleep.
-She is still swaddled and I think she needs it but she is working on rolling and does move around in her bassinet a lot so we probably need to drop it soon.
-Sleeps well at night right now-usually only 1 wakeup anywhere between 1am and 4am before up for the day between 6 and 7.

The issue is bedtime--she doesn't have one and won't stick to one. Because she isn't on a nap schedule, I never know when her last nap will be. I talked to a friend who does sleep coaching who said to wake her from her last nap at 5:30 to get her down at 7. But when we do that, she sometimes falls asleep for just 20 minutes and then wants to eat again. So then she isn't down until 8:30/9. This is really hard because we are spending 5:30-9 feeding her and getting her to sleep and we have no down time at all. I used to think that if she went down earlier it would be worse because then 6 hours would mean she's up at midnight but one time she went down at 6:30 and slept until 3. So my question is how do I institute a consistent bedtime? Do I need to start scheduling naps so that bedtime is the same every night? The sleep coach said it is too early to schedule naps but I'm a bit skeptical. Or maybe she is just not quite ready for an early and consistent bedtime and I need to be patient. But @sweetiepie, you seem to swear by an early bedtime. Sorry this is so long but would love any and all ideas. Thank you!!

ETA: Also, she doesn't always eat enough (I think) during the day and I feel like she needs to stock up with an extra feed before bed, but if we put her down at 6:30, she'll miss that.