This is really hard.for me to open up about and I don't feel comfortable talking yo anyone IRL. I have a very close family member who is really struggling. Basically everything in their life that could go wrong is going wrong. Legal troubles, loss of job, etc.... This person has isolated themselvrs, has made comments about not caring about anything in life anymore, and has legal troubles that can land him in jail. He has stated that he will not do jail if he is sentenced..... Im afraid hr is suicidal. He refuses counselling and will not try antidepressants. I live hours away and I asked if I could visit and he told me he wasn't up for visitors. (If I visited I would have to stay at their place BC I can't afford to get a hotel) I am so worried and at a loss. he doesn't like to talk about his troubles but I call him (most of the time he won't answer) to let hin know I'm there. I talk about trival thinga too, to see if that helps....I don't know how to help.
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Bumping for you. My only experience is with a friend who was very depressed and, at times, suicidal, and it was incredibly difficult to navigate as someone "watching" from the outside. I always let her know I was there, and that I loved her, but I was never really sure what else to do. I hope someone else will have better advice for you!
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This is a very tough and delicate situation. I'd say the only thing you can try that might help would be a group intervention. Perhaps contact a group of friends and family and see if you can all lovingly plea for your friend to get some professional help. Perhaps you can chip in and buy a gift or make some sort of financial contribution to their woes. And maybe offering some hope and support. Sending you the best!
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@stargal: this is very hard and I'm sorry
I really have no good advice. I know when I am feeling very depressed I withdraw from everyone so I totally get why he says he's "not up for visitors."
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It is really tough. Does this person have good friends who care enough to check-in frequently? That helps. Does he live alone? Someone very close and dear to me has bouts of depression, and it worries me. I always keep in contact. Even if its just a text message saying "just saying hello! I hope you are doing well." I call even if the person doesn't pick up. "Hi John. I'm walking home from the store, and just wanted to say hello. Give me a call when you get a moment." I just try to keep in contact to let them know I'm here, I love you, I'm thinking of your, you are not alone. Perhaps try calling to ask for advice to let them know that you need them? It is hard. Just keep showing you care.
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@stargal: I recently went through this with my dad and unfortunately just lost him to suicide. If I could go back in time- (If you feel comfortable) I would ask the person directly if they are suicidal - honestly this never crossed my mind (that my dad was- so I never asked). You can also call a help line that will give you advice on what to do and say. Then, I would have gone to see him- and asked him to go to the hospital with me. I asked him to see a counselor and he said he was beyond help and that he was beyond depressed. I didn't know what else to do. So, that is my answer fresh out of this.
No matter what though, it isn't your fault whatever happens and someone determined to check out might do it another time- all you can do is ask them to get help, ask them that tough question, ask to take them somewhere if you feel comfortable. I definitely recommend seeing them if you are able, tell them you love them. Sorry to be so heavy. I have lost two parents to suicide and both sounded similar and were facing jail. I am not an expert but this is what I wish I had known to do. But again, no matter what you do, you can't really help someone any more than attempting these ideas (imo) and no matter what you aren't responsible.
I now feel like the heaviest, wettest blanket- just trying to help. PM me if you'd like.
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@GREENTEA I am so sorry.
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@Greentea: you aren't a wet blanket. You are a very wise little heartbroken person with genuine perspective on the subject. Much
sent your way. I'm so sorry you have to go through what you are going through.
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@Synchronicity: @MrsMccarthy: @cmomma17: @Pumpkin Pie: sorry I didnt get back k to you all sooner, long night with my baby but thank you for your advice and
@Greentea: I am so incredibly sorry aabkut the loss of your dad. My heart breaks for you. You are so strong to go through that and still offer advice to me. Think you so much.
I think I'm going to visit him regardless of what he says, when I was talking about the kids (he got a little cheerful) notuch but I take it. I think getting out of his house and being around the kids might help. I just feel so helpless and I'm SL worries he is going to do something.
I really have no good advice. I know when I am feeling very depressed I withdraw from everyone so I totally get why he says he's "not up for visitors."
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