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Might be easier if you talk to him instead? He can always ask for the space himself... plus, he could stop complaining to her!!

@jennylynn: OMG, do we have the same husband and MIL??

It's crazy how similar your situation is to mine! I love my MIL to pieces but she oversteps her boundaries way too often. My DH is an only child so she coddles him to no end. And of course he loves it. Why wouldn't he? His mama does everything for him. My MIL comes over 2-3 times a week, every week. On Saturdays, she stays with us basically all day. The only days we get to spend together as a family are Saturdays/Sundays because my DH and I both work full time. But she still insists on coming over. Most of the time, we take the kids out to the park or to run errands and she just sits in the back of the car and follows us around from place to place. When my DH is left alone with the baby, even just for an hour, she insists on coming over to help him out. What's really annoying to me is when she comes over to our house and it's just her and my DH, she cooks this huge elaborate dinner for him. I know she means well (she really does!) but it's almost like she's thinking "Ok finally my poor son can eat a decent meal!". Almost like she's criticizing my cooking? I dunno.

I can TOTALLY see the only child thing in my DH, which is why I told him we will not have only one child. One of my friends is an only child and she's not like this at all. So I know it's not "only' the only child thing. I think it's a combination of only child + MIL's personality.

Anyhow...sorry to go off topic. What helped me was talking to my DH. I had a heart to heart talk with him a few months ago and told him how I felt. I chose my words verrrrrry carefully though because I didn't want to offend him in any way. I just told him that I LOVE my MIL and consider her to be my second mom. And that I love having her around and truly appreciate her help. But sometimes I just want us to be us and that I want to experience parenting (ups and downs) together, just the two of us. At first I think he was a little offended (but not too much so). And he said he would think about it. I agree with PPs. I wouldn't talk to her to directly and would go through your husband instead. You don't want to cause any weird feelings between you and your MIL, especially since she means well and isn't trying to impose or bug you. My MIL is super sensitive too. So I told my DH to be very gentle with her and not make it seem like I was the one that was complaining, because I know that she wouldn't take that very well. He eventually had a chat with her and she started coming over a little less frequently. But she's still definitely around.

At the end of the day, I decided to just try and ignore it as much as possible. Because deep down, I know she totally means well and does everything for him/me/the kids out of love and concern. And I can't really blame her for that. I hear so many MIL horror stories and am grateful that she's not one of "those" MILs!

@jennylynn: The frequent visits drives me nuts. But I just take a deep breath and just manage my temper as much as possible.

I would hint about the book Bringing Up Bébé and try to get her to read it. It's not about MILs (so it won't be obvious) but I think it does a good job pointing out that children *need* to learn to live their own lives in order to have a successful relationships.

I have an issue with mothers that need to snip their apron stings and let their full-grown sons live their OWN lives. Children are not entertainment and they need to learn to deal with the fact that life won't always revolve around them. Ok, end of my own rant =P

But I agree with Mr. Bee, get DH to deal with it if you can, especially since she's sensitive - you don't wanna deal with drama on top of all that smothering!