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Huge loss and TTC

  1. alohaorchid

    persimmon / 1404 posts

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

  2. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @ChasingARainbow: I am so sorry for your loss.

    I don't think you mentioned it, but are you in any sort of therapy?

    My dad had brain cancer several years ago (he died in 2009), and I totally know what you're saying about it hurting so bad it physically hurts. I went to my PCP at one point because I SWORE I had mono. It felt just like when I had it in college. I was physically achey and just felt...sick. When the test came back negative and my doctor told me he couldn't find anything wrong with me, I totally broke down in his office and he prescribed me xanax.

    I told a friend about it (who'd also lost her father to the same cancer) and she suggested I go to therapy as well. The medicine was just a bandaid to deal with the pain for now. But I needed to learn how to cope with it through therapy.

    DH and I weren't even married yet so we weren't TTC at the time, so I did find the drugs helpful, but eventually I started feeling numb while on them and weaned off.

    I hope you have lots of support to help you through this really awful time. I know how much it can totally suck to have to deal with the new normal of a parent not being there.

    I think a T-shirt quilt is an amazing idea. I made one for my dad when he was sick and I treasure it now.

    If you need someone to talk to, feel free to wall me and I'll give you my email address.

  3. babybronco

    cherry / 126 posts

    I'm so sorry for your loss, so incredibly sorry.

    Don't take the xanax if you think you're pregnant. I have xanax and zoloft (been on them since I was 15) and my doc told me I'd have to get rid of the xanax when I got pregnant (we're ttc).

    Let your primary know!

  4. ChasingARainbow

    cherry / 203 posts

    @simplyfelicity: No. I have two boys 11yrs and 6yrs. I had two mc last year. My second mc was twins.

  5. ChasingARainbow

    cherry / 203 posts

    @fryxie: thank you. I've decided that I won't be taking the Xanax. I'm just praying and taking things one day at a time. We'll be leaving everything in God's hands and what shall be shall be. Yesterday morning was really hard for me, but my DH reminded me that my dad would tell me to cheer up, pray and keep going. So that's what I did. I still paused a few times throughout the day and felt a heavy heart. We also received my dad's ashes yesterday so that was surreal.

  6. lamariniere

    pineapple / 12566 posts

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 7 years ago, so I can relate.

  7. ChasingARainbow

    cherry / 203 posts

    @lamariniere: thank you.


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