Hellobee Boards

My son is similar. He just started kinder and I am happy to report not only did he not cry, I didn't cry. I think he was just mature enough at this time. I was worried though, because the morning of the first day, he asked if he could go back to his preschool. Now he says he likes the two schools the same amount.

I did drop off yesterday morning and there were a ton of kids crying, I was kind of surprised, as this is already the second week. I don't think you're alone, you know?

@Bao: That was my son the last 2 years. In addition to the drop off drama, he was also the king of "I don't want to go back there" every night and weekend.

The crying lasted a couple months for us last time. I'll tell you what helped us, although if it's become a game to her, it might not work:

We role-played me leaving, and when I said "Mama's gonna go now. I love you," he learned to say "ok." You could insert any phrase you want (maybe even a silly one, like "see you later, alligator" or something similar.) We would practice it, and then when we got there, 2 minutes before I left, I'd say "In two minutes, I'm going to leave, and you're going to say 'ok.'" For a short while, he'd do it correctly, and then start crying after, but that only lasted a week or two.

Since he hadn't been crying nearly as long as your LO before we tried this, it might also have been a natural progression, but it gave him the "right" way to respond, and he was able to do it. I also talked to his teacher and she'd try to swoop in right after he said "ok" to facilitate it.

We've had bouts of this over the years (and my toddler is currently in hysterics at drop offs). What is your drop off routine like?

I would not try to talk up school or discourage her from crying. It's how she is expressing her feelings. Even if it is stressful to you, I would try to show her that her crying doesn't bother you and that it's ok to be upset. I would say something like "I see you're crying. Let me wipe away a few of your tears. I hope you have a good day. I'll see you when I pick you up at X time!" And smile and give her a hug and leave. If she says "I hate school! I don't want to go!" You could say "I hear you. You don't want to go. But dad and I have decided that this school is a good school for you and that you'll go. But I'll be there at X time to pick you up." This is as close to Janet Lansbury as I can get, LOL.

Have you tried the book "The Kissing Hand"? My DD is now 5 and in Kinder but has really taken to this book finally and we kiss each other's hands every morning and every night.

Also, I recently had a behavioral therapist suggest that we talk less to our kids about what to expect. Let life be a surprise to them. Kids brains are different than ours and they handle surprises better than we do. I can't say that I've personally tried this method, but I filed the fact away in my little brain for future use with #2.

Is car drop off an option? I do this now for our Kinder kid and she doesn't have any opportunity to fuss and fight. I stop the car and a teacher is there to help her out and on her way.

@bao: are there any friends from last year that she is excited to be able to see again/more often?

I think you've gotten good advice above. And I think prepare her vs. surprise probably depends some on her personality. If she is a worrier, it might not help to talk it up too much beforehand because she will psych herself out about something that (I assume) she likes a lot once she recovers from drop-off?

Have you tried giving her a special necklace or something that she can wear on school days that "keeps the sads away"? We do that with my oldest.