Hellobee Boards

Totally very normal. But I think back to some of those acquaintances that I had at my sons first birthday and they are some of our very closest and dearest friends now two years later.

It's been hard. None of my closest friends have kids and I live 2.5 hours from them. We have definitely drifted but we all still try. I aim to at minimum text or email with them a few times a week and a longer phone call or video call at least once a month.

I have met a lot of moms since DD was born and while I occasionally hang out with them, I don't consider any of them good friends. Though they still serve such an important part in my life in their own ways.

@JLC53: I'm so sorry you are going through that! Are they friends from high school or college that you are missing? I feel like as we get older, our lives shift in ways that maybe don't match up with the lives of our friends from childhood. Its hard to lose them, but things just change. Sometimes you end up with a few friends that each serve their own purpose in your life. So old friends who don't have kids are good for nostalgic talks. And new mommy friends can be good for chats about current daily life. I think if you end up with one friend from childhood that carries over into your adult life, then you are lucky! Its rare to find someone who has a big group of high school friends. I know a girl who does and I'm totally jealous. But I'm so happy with my one childhood friend even if our lives were so different for so long. I say continue to reach out to the few girls who you receive invites from. You still do "fit" because you are long time friends! Your friends will catch up in family life sometime. And then just try to get new friendships with the moms you meet through your kids. Or maybe some of your husband's friends' wives.

Sadly, it happens. I’m nearing 40, work full time, and have 3 kids 5 and under. I’ve realized I don’t really have any friends anymore! Sure, I have coworker friends and some mommy friends and still keep in touch with my long-time best friend every so often. But I don’t have that constant friendship that I did when I was younger. There is no more going out like before. My time is spent differently. And honestly I see other moms my age who have a social network of friends. I just don’t know how they’ve accomplished that.

My sister just had her first baby and I warned her about this. It's not that you don't love your pre-baby friends, it just becomes a huge sacrifice to keep a relationship going. It's way easier to hang out with mom friends and other families who are in the same place and interested in the same things. I also physically moved after having my first so my transition really involved starting from scratch in the friend department!

@Mamatimes3: yes, I could have said this all exactly!

Is it bad that sometimes I think my only friends are family? All my other friends have kids that are different ages, or don't have kids. My best friend has kids about the same ages, but her son is a huge chatterbox while mine is in speech therapy, so I don't enjoy getting together as much.

Until my kids are in school, I honestly won't worry about friends beyond family. It is too hard with both parents WOH and having two kids so young. I just work on maintaining the relationships I have to (family) until I have time to spare outside of that.

So anecdotally the moms I see with a lot of friends either (and usually both!):
a) join mom groups and/or have mom friends with kids of similar ages and they do stuff with their kids mostly
b) have a lot of help with their kids...their kids' aunts/uncles, grandparent/s, etc. are involved and babysit for them, for free. I don't know too many people who hire help to get out with friends often. Dads watch the kids for mom to go out.

I'd say dh and I have been making a lot of acquaintances in our new area, but I would definitely not say they are close friends. And frankly I had way more time to socialize when I worked ft!! I made work friends too then. But most of them were single and without work and being an hour or so away I haven't much kept in touch.