we had gotten to the point where I had to lay next to her and nurse all night long for her to sleep. Tonight my nipple hurt too much to let her do this. Over an hour of crying and she's now asleep. But I'm still awake, crying about what I've put her through.
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CIO sucks. I too had a hard time with it. It's gonna be okay mama and your baby will love you no matter what. If it's bugging you still tomorrow maybe give the baby extra cuddles and do something she enjoys.
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It totally sucks but can be seriously life changing. It was for us. I saw it as a little bit of loss for a huge amount of gain. We're all so much happier now!
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It is really hard.
I had to do it with my first after months of shitty sleep and it didn't help. But with my second it reduces her wake ups. Good luck!
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CIO sucks.... but being a human pacifier isn't sustainable either. That is in no way healthy for anyone involved.
If you're going to do it, do it. If you get through the first 3-4 nights, it gets SO much better. Night one is always bad.
We did it. My kid is 3 and pretty well-adjusted and bonded, I think. You didn't damage her.
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@loveisstrange: this this this x 100.
It's a sucky few nights but for us, everyone was happier in the long run. Your baby will totally forgive and forget
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@littleblessings: @ScarletBegonia: @regberadaisy: @loveisstrange: @blackbird: thanks everyone. I think I will do the same tonight. she is just not a baby that nursing to sleep will work for, and it's been hard for me to accept that.
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@Peasinapod: don't forget it has to work for you, too
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@Peasinapod: we finally had to do some sleep training after our baby slept in bed with us for 18months and I hadn't gotten one solid night of sleep because she would always wake up to nurse 3-4x a night. The first 3 nights of sleep training were the hardest but now it's gotten easier and easier after a month of doing it. Also having my husband take her up to do the bath routine and then crib routine help too. I feed her before they go up like 20 min before! Good luck!!
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@ScarletBegonia: i cannot agree with this more!
CIO wasn't too bad on my heart because DS had colic and would cry for 9+ hours a day for 6 months so listening to him cry a little bit more at the end of the day didn't bother me too much. But i've heard that momma's of LO's who hardly cry it can be really hard to hear them upset.
Best of luck OP
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Hang in there, we did CIO and tho I feel a little guilty about it, I too was at a breaking point with DH about to go on a biz trip for the first time and me getting zero sleep. I felt like I had to do something, I felt like a total mess. Since then she has slept thru the night from 3 months until 26 months except for sleep regressions at 4, 16 and 24 months. It doesn't work for everyone and every baby but if it is what you need to not go batsh$t crazy I say go for it! Assuming baby is healthy that is...
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Cio really worked for us! Every baby is different, but sometimes they just need to be left alone when nothing else is working. We always let ds know that we are there by going in once, but if diaper is clean and there is nothing wrong he gets left in bed.
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deciding to do CIO is not an easy decision, and i think usually means that the parents have tried what they can and are at the end of their ropes. big hugs, i know it's tough. as a silver lining, i think falling asleep after an hour is pretty good! my LO fussed and cried off and on for 3 hours.
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It probably doesn't seem like it, but agree with @edelweiss: that an hour of crying really isn't too bad! Mine always went to bed without any issue but was waking for feeding when he clearly didn't need it. The doc finally urged me to get rid of the night feeding and let him CIO in the middle of the night. The first night he cried on and off for like 5 hours (1am to 6am)!!! But not nonstop so I actually never even went in. So an hour of crying really isn't too bad and it will only get better and better. Plus, it really doesn't seem to Impact them. The first night of CIO I thought id go in at 7am and he'd be mad at me. But he was all smiles and just as happy to see me. That's what made me realize I'm not hurting him.
Yes, we need to worry about our LOs, but we need to worry about us too! If we are exhausted and miserable it doesn't do them any good!It's a hard decision to make but it will pay off in spades! You will feel HUMAN again the first night your LO goes down and you don't wake up until 6 or 7. Heck, even 5! When mine started doing 7pm to 5am I felt amazing.
Hang in there! -
It definitely sucks for a while, but consistency is key. If you stay consistent and don't allow yourself to become the human pacifier again, she'll start to get used to it and understand.
Hang in there mama...it will get better!
I had to do it with my first after months of shitty sleep and it didn't help. But with my second it reduces her wake ups. Good luck!
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