Hellobee Boards

HB is the only parenting board I'm on. I feel like most people DO ask for advice or opinions on here, and everyone respectfully gives theirs. No one wants unsolicited advice, which is why those rare posts where someone just comes on and preaches about why something is bad or good aren't usually well received!

My thought is if someone asks, and I have useful information to add, I will. Because I want multiple options so I can make an informed decision, and I think others do too. If they ask! But it's that person's life and they will make the best decision for them.

Where you get in trouble is when you either assume the person didn't make an informed decision or doesn't know better. Maybe they don't, but you have to tread those waters carefully, and usually you shouldn't. But that's where the mommy wars and mud slinging begin. And it's really not worth the fight. I'm never going to say the one thing that changes the mind of an anti-Vaxxer or a pro-lifer that makes them say "oh my god, you're right. I am changing my stance." So why argue? You have reasons for your beliefs and I have mine. Unless you ask for my opinion, I'm keeping it to myself! And we can still be friends if we meet at a park one day while our kids are playing!

I find this kind of ironic, having been filed under attachment parenting and the title of the blog being "the badass breast feeder", though

@Emsmems: I actually *have* changed the minds of more than one pro-lifer, but not by arguing with them. Blogging about our loss opened a lot of people's eyes. But the ones that read it and still think we were wrong? Never gonna convince them by arguing.

@littlejoy: It really is amazing seeing people change. My mom actually voted against an Amendment here in TN that the pro-lifers were pushing hard (unfortunately, it did pass), and she used to be super hard core anti-abortion. She's still against elective ones, which is not surprising since she's a fundamentalist Southern Baptist, but the fact that she was able to realize that there's more to the discussion than she originally believed was really impressive to me.

I couldn't read all of it. I don't think it's a issue. Maybe I'm just oblivious to it - if so, I want to keep it that way

@SugarplumsMom: agree.

i don't think this is as big an issue as people make it out to be. Sure sometimes people come in all hardcore and bitchy about something in an unhelpful way, but I don't get down on myself/motherhood/community about that. I just think wow, what a bitch. Then I move on with my day. I think people take the internet too seriously. Take help where you find it and let the rest roll off your back.