I've had depression for years, but it's been under control thanks to anti-depressants. Shortly after DS was born in January I was diagnosed with PPD and went on additional medication. It's been a difficult recovery with many ups and downs. I go to therapy and am even on a new anti-depressant, but still have problems. Maybe I'm naive, I was just hoping I would be all better by now. I feel so horrible crying in front of DS because he's becoming more aware now. I don't want to be like this in front of him. I want to be happy and be a good role model. I'm sorry for this overshare, I just needed to get this out.
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I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Do you have a good support network of family or friends around that could help? It also might be worth looking into getting a new therapist - sometimes a change can help with a new perspective, especially as your life has changed in the past year. Hugs!
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(((((HUGS)))))
I have struggled with anxiety and depression for many years too. I understand feeling like you just want to be "happy" or "better." Hang in there, you are doing all the right things. I have personally learned that these are conditions I can learn to manage, but I won't ever get rid of them entirely.
Don't give up! ((more hugs)) -
I think it's great you are honest about all this. I wouldn't worry about crying in front of him. It's good for kids to see adults handle emotion. And as long as at the end of the day you are being a good mom he will see you go on.
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I'm sorry you are dealing with this. But you ARE being a good role model by dealing with your depression in healthy ways. Just keep doing what you are doing. I sincerely hope things improve for you soon. Hugs!
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Sending you huge hugs. Depression is no joke. You ARE a great role model-you sought help, and you're actively reaching out. I hope that you can surround yourself with supportive people and that things get better for you soon. Hang in there, Mama. You're not alone
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Hugs. I haven't been officially diagnosed, but my PP anxiety us getting worse. I do find myself crying in front if the baby sometimes, but I hope he gets the full picture of how I dealt with the emotions, not just remember the tears, you know?
Hugs...hang in there! You're being a good mama because you're getting the help & treatment you need!
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Thanks to everyone for your kind words. I'm still upset, but reading your posts does help.
@aimed: Thank you for your support. I do have a small, but good network around me. Unfortunately my parents live several states away, but we talk regularly. I've only been seeing this therapist since the summer and he's the first one I've ever really clicked with.
@cmomma17: It can be SO hard. I'm glad you understand. I do just want to get better, but I know it's something I'll just have to learn to manage, like you. Thanks for the hugs!
@T.H.O.U.: I agree that it's good for kids to see how adults handle emotions. I just worry that I'll end up like Toni Collette's character in "About a Boy," and cause DS stress and pain.
@moonmoon: I'm sorry you're experiencing PP anxiety, too. I hope our boys don't just remember the tears, either!
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@rahlyrah: Thanks, friend.
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I'm so glad you found someone you clicked with - that can be so difficult! You are amazing, as the pp said you are doing all the right things and it will pass, although I know it doesn't always feel that way. Hugs again, you are an amazing mom and will get through this.
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@Katrocap: there will always be highs and lows. You're just in a low right now, but you'll climb out and things will be better again!
I promise!
Are you eating well? Getting some exercise? Drinking lots of water? Those things help me. Getting a little fresh air too is always good. And I have noticed that caffeine makes my anxiety way worse so I've started cutting back.In years past when I was depressed I would hide from the world and sleep my days away - not possible with a mobile baby who doesn't STTN!
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@Katrocap: Want to grab a drink (sans kids) or brunch/lunch/dinner/play date (with kids) soon?
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@rahlyrah: Yes! Check your HB wall.
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hang in there
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Dealing with your shit is the epitome of being a good role model. Your son will know that you struggle, but as long as you're doing your damnedest to get out of it, he'll respect you for it.
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no advice, just hugs!
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I have to second @sarac, you're doing what you need to do to get healthy and that's the best thing you can do for your son. My dad has struggled with depression his whole life, and I've known about it for most of mine. It doesn't make me look at him in any negative sort of light. In fact, I am SO proud of him for how he's dealt with it and I also feel so loved because I know that everything he's done and still does to stay in a good place is for me, my mom, and my sister. *hugs* you will get through this and your son will only be proud of your hard work.
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I'd like to extend a virtual hug. I'm going through some tough times right now too. Wishing you a TGIF and have a great weekend!
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Just wanted to give you a hug
I'm in the same place...have struggled with depression/anxiety since my late teens and having S 3mths ago has really set it off again 
I promise!
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19 comments